This is my submission for the 'Summer Lovin' Story Contest 2015'.
As ever, I must thank Winterreisser for his diligent and careful editing, suggestions and encouragement and Kat for being my tester.
I hope you enjoy the story and, as this is a competition entry, please take a moment to cast your vote at the end. Comments are very welcome too as I love hearing from readers.
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An unexpected invitation
It seemed like a no-brainer: of course, I accepted Tina's invitation to go with her on her short summer holiday, once I finally understood what it was that she was proposing! No matter how well you get on with your boss, it's always so disconcerting to be called in and be told to take a seat.
I was a junior payroll clerk, my salary reflecting my lowly position and the fact that I was still training. Meanwhile, my tendency to indulge my interests in and enjoyment of the theatre, films and dining out ensuring that, what with rent and the rest, I had almost nothing left of my mediocre pay packet at the end of each month. This meant that affording a holiday this year was a pipe dream and the best I could hope for might be the odd few days visiting old school friends, now away at university, like Kevin who lived near York or Diana in Bristol; always assuming I could scrape together the rail fare, of course.
Tina, on the other hand, was the Senior Payroll Manager in the company and, while she shared similar interests in food, film and theatre with me (which accounted, at least in part, for our friendship) she commanded a decent salary. She could afford summer holidays.
It was a Friday towards the end of June and Tina had been out of sorts for a couple of weeks, just a bit distracted and somewhat gloomy and low, rather than her usual easy-going self. She'd not said anything about what the matter was and, while I considered Tina a friend, even quite a good friend, I didn't feel I could press her too much to talk about it, certainly not while at work, anyway.
So when Tina unexpectedly called me into her office that day, just before lunch, I wasn't sure what she wanted but wasn't unduly concerned; I knew I had been working hard and keeping up with my studies for the Payroll Management certification course so I couldn't imagine any problems there. Perhaps, I thought, she just wanted to chat or maybe she wanted to propose another round of 'We'll Try Anything', our occasional attempts to find dishes that one or other of us wouldn't eat. So far we'd had ostrich (very tasty), snails (okay, as they were pretty well drowned in garlic butter), oysters (I preferred them cooked to raw) and crocodile (like turkey but with a slightly odd texture). To date, neither of us had wimped out but it was only a matter of time before we moved onto really weird stuff like insects or jellyfish or koala-snot soup -- if we could find restaurants in London that served them! "Hi, Tina, you wanted to see me?" I said from the doorway.
"Ah, Jojo, come in, take a seat." I entered her office and sat down. "Now, as far as I can tell you've not booked any annual leave so far this year." This was true but I wasn't sure why this mattered. A worrying thought crossed my mind: what if I was being let go -- sacked, made redundant, whatever it might be called -- and they were working out what they had to pay for leave not taken. Something must have shown on my face because she added, "Jojo, don't worry, you're not in trouble." I looked at her and saw that, to my surprise, Tina seemed nervous; maybe she'd found the Koala-snot Soup Restaurant. "I, um, I guess I wondered if you hadn't booked leave because you haven't any holiday planned." The relief that I felt was now mixed with curiosity.
"No, I haven't anything planned. Actually, I don't really have the money to afford a summer holiday this year," I admitted, a little embarrassed. "Are you worried that I'll have too much leave left at the end of the year? I can take some days off and just, I don't know, do some studying at home or..."
"No no, Jojo, it's nothing like that," she interrupted and then hesitated. "I'd booked a holiday for two, for Alex and me but..." there was real sadness in her face and I had a faint inkling of what might be coming as she sighed, "the weekend before last Alex left me. I guess it's been on the cards for a while really." I recognised the name 'Alex' as her significant other, though whether he was her boyfriend or partner or possibly just flatmate I wasn't sure. I'd certainly never met him and, in fact, he was no more than a name as Tina almost never even mentioned him.
"Oh, Tina, I'm so sorry," I replied automatically, though I still meant it. "If there's anything I can do or if you want a shoulder to cry on..."
"No. Thanks, but no; I really don't want to talk about it," she said firmly, gazing down at her desk. "The thing is that I booked a short break holiday for the two of us in Spain and I really, really could do with getting away, you know? Just to be somewhere else, anywhere else, and away from all the reminders right now would do me good." I nod in sympathy but wonder where this is going. Is she going to ask me to cover for her? Surely not; either Janice or Malcolm would do that as they have done in the past. Tina looked at me again. "I was wondering... I mean, much as I want to get away I can't face going on my own so I was wondering, Jojo... would you come with me? On holiday, I mean."
"What, really?" I asked in surprise and something about the incredulous way I said this made Tina smile.
"Yes, really, Jojo! As I said, it's only a short break, just five days flying out at nine-thirty next Wednesday evening and coming back on Monday. You'd need a passport, obviously but I can definitely guarantee your leave request will be approved."
"How much would it cost?"
"Absolutely nothing, Jojo. It's all paid for anyway; I'd lose the money if I don't go and, as I said, I don't want to go alone. You'd need some spending money, of course," Tina added.
"Wow! Well, I'd obviously love a holiday in Spain but why me?" It occurred to me how little I knew of Tina outside of the office and our occasional ventures together into weird food and even more occasional trips to see small local theatre productions. She was clearly upset about Alex's departure but what that meant in terms of relationship breakdown I wasn't sure. How upset would she be on holiday and would I be spending five days commiserating while she drowned her sorrows? On the other hand, maybe she just wanted some company while she found some guy to hook up with, though I doubted that would take long given the way she looked.
"Because we're friends, Jojo, and partly, I admit, because you're not part of my other group of friends," she told me and I guessed she meant her friends that she shared with Alex, which made sense, "oh, and partly because you're a girl up for trying new things." She gave me a grin that, if anything, made her comment even more worrying.
"That sounds a little... concerning," I told her honestly. "What are you saying: that I'll be expected to do... what?"
"Nothing, Jojo. Honestly, I'm not expecting you to do anything but I like your sense of adventure, that you'll try something different; basically, you're fun," she concluded.
"Umm, it is very tempting, Tina," I admitted but I had a nagging suspicion. "Even though I'm sure there's something you're not telling me."
"Maybe... or maybe not," she said cryptically. "There are probably many things I ought to tell you and perhaps, if you come with me, I will." That certainly intrigued me but also made me more than a little apprehensive.
Jojo Remastered
Perhaps, dear reader, if you have made it this far into my story, I need to explain something of myself so you can understand what I was and what I was not at this time. What I
wasn't
was the gung-ho adventurer that Tina evidently thought I was. Oh, I
wanted
to be, desperately, I really did, and so I worked at it. I was successful too, mostly.
At school, I had been timid, always afraid of failure and therefore reluctant to try new things, convinced that I'd show myself up. I had a few friends, girls mainly, whom I'd gradually come to know and to trust as they saw me come out of my shell a little. I was studious, anxious to please my teachers and, as a result, academically successful. Socially, however, I remained much the same frightened mouse of a girl I'd always been.
Things only really began to change significantly when I started Sixth Form and A Levels. Some friends left the school while others took different subjects so I saw them much less at school. Consequently, I was forced to mix with new people and, with the change in outlook now we were no longer schoolkids, I managed to make new friends. By the second year, I had started going out more and, incredibly, I found I had a boyfriend! I was so in love with Jason, infatuated really; there was nothing I wouldn't do for him.
You can probably guess what happened. Jason started off nice, lovely and caring and maybe if I'd had more confidence and a greater sense of self-worth he would have continued being so. Instead, I was prey to my insecurities and fear of failure, always afraid that I would lose him. My studying suffered, of course; too much time out with him or daydreaming or worrying about our relationship. We started sleeping together when he suggested it: how could I say no and hope to keep him? Though part of me felt I was making a mistake another part was telling me I was finally a woman. I was an intelligent girl so I should have got myself on the pill of course, but I was shy and Jason was happy to use a condom... for a while.
Looking back there are so many 'should haves' and 'what ifs': I should have gone on the pill, I should have insisted on him using a condom, what if I'd had the courage to end the relationship, what if I hadn't got pregnant...
In the end, my pregnancy miscarried at five months, which was four months after Jason had last said a civil word to me. I was such a mess at that point, a weird mixture of deep sadness at the loss of the baby mixed with relief that the possibility of a motherhood for which I was completely unready had gone. It was no real surprise that the miscarriage, along with the pregnancy and the rest of the turmoil, all conspired to wreck my A-Level results: I managed a C in Maths, an E in English and failed History. These were nothing like the results I needed so there was to be no university for me unless I redid the year and somehow I couldn't face that. Even more sickening was that Jason had managed straight A's; there really was no justice.
And so, fourteen months ago, I came to work at this company, my father helping me to get a post in the Payroll section and on their training course. This was my new beginning, my chance to reinvent myself; I would not be the shy, timid girl anymore. It was hard but I was determined that I would be different and make new friends and try new things.
I changed my hair and had my ash blonde streaked with blue that I felt complimented my blue eyes. I tried to slim down a bit; I wasn't fat, just a bit too soft and round, and that, along with a new wardrobe, helped my confidence. When I met Tina for the first time at the job interview I shook her hand firmly, looked her in the eye and introduced myself as 'Jojo' rather than 'Joanne', the nickname my parents used sometimes. That was the start of the new me.
When the chance of a room in a shared house came via an old school friend's sister, I took it. It was a tiny room with a wardrobe and a washbasin in the corner but I wanted the chance to be away from home and pretend I was living the student life that my screw-up had deprived me of, even if I was actually at work and studying part-time.
Tina was a friendly, likeable and very approachable boss and we would talk during the day, not just about work. I'd always enjoyed the cinema and theatre: they're safe, dark spaces where people tell you stories, like being a child tucked up in bed and being read to. I found that Tina enjoyed them too and we would chat about films and plays we'd seen. She was something of a gastronomist and while my parents were never wealthy they did like to dine well on special occasions, which meant that I had an opinion on some of the food she dined out on. When she asked "What's the strangest thing you've eaten?" the best I could manage was paella, remembering the whole prawns and mussels dotting the enormous dish from which it was served. "Pfft, that's pretty feeble. Too scared to try frogs' legs or haggis I guess." And that was it: the 'I'll Try Anything' Club (membership: two) was born.
