Vivian sat on the side of the hospital bed, shoulders hunched, and stared down at her feet. Her straight black hair hung around her face, shrouding the rest of the room from view. Darren, her brother, had assured her she'd come in wearing those clunky, thick-heeled boots, but she didn't remember buying them. A lot of things from the last two months were fuzzy like that. She had to admit they were very much her style, but it was still unsettling.
Her brother sat quietly in the wooden arm chair across from her and stared down at his hands. "The girls are really excited," he said, for at least the second time. "Last night, they kept asking me what time we'd be getting home."
"Timesit?" Vivian slurred. She pinched her face and shook her head. It sounded wrong. She hated talking.
"Just after eleven."
Vivian nodded, simply glad she hadn't needed to repeat herself. "Thangs." She turned slightly, at the sound of footsteps, and wrinkled her nose.
"Okay," the nurse said brightly, as she pushed a wheelchair into the room. "We've got everything we need. You're all checked out! Did you have any last questions?"
Vivian pointed to a pair of crutches pitched against the wall, which her brother had brought, and shook her head.
"I know," the nurse said, nodding, "but it's hospital policy. I'm sorry. Gotta use the wheelchair until we get you outside."
After a grudging nod Vivian set her arms against the bed, to prepare herself, and before she got her feet down her brother was by her side.
"I gotcha," he said, as he steadied her shoulder.
"Mmmfine," she grunted. Her knees picked a truly awful moment to buckle, however, and when more than half of her weight was being supported by him she had to grudgingly add, "Thangyou."
Darren smiled and nodded, and after a few more excruciating seconds in which her body continued to fail her, Vivian slumped into the wheelchair. Her brother hoisted the shoulder bag containing the possessions she'd had on her along with the various accouterments Darren had brought over the last week to enable his extended visits: chargers, pillows, bottles, and the like. It also held the fearsome stack of paperwork she'd been given. She'd had difficulty making her eyes focus to read any of it, and listening to anyone for more than a minute at a time had been beyond her.
"We're gonna miss having you around," the nurse said softly, as she pushed Vivian into the elevator.
The chair jostled her as it went over the lip. Vivian grunted and nodded.
"I'll tell you what. Patients like you, that come in as bad as you were? And then seeing you turn it around, little by little? It's one of those things that makes my job so rewarding."
Vivian grunted again.
"Watching you struggle and fight, and claw your way back? It's inspiring. Everyone up on the third floor was pulling for you every step of the way. They all wanted to come down and clap for you when you got released, but I said you'd hate that. Instead, you just get me."
The elevator dinged as the doors opened onto the ground floor, and Darren hustled out ahead of them. She watched him go with a nagging ache in her chest. She didn't want him to go. She didn't want him to leave her alone.
He's just going to get the car,
she thought to herself,
and you're not alone.
"You're going to be picking up your PT at Therapydia, right?"
Sounds formed in the back of Vivian's throat as she tried to speak, and she had to cough before she could say, "YesonTuesday." She couldn't figure out why it sounded right in her head and wrong on her tongue, but everyone had assured her that, with therapy, it was only a matter of time until her speech returned.
The number of appointments, follow-ups, and referrals that had been scheduled for her was as staggering as it was terrifying. She tried not to think about it.
"That's great. We send a lot of our patients to them. They're wonderful. Do you know what location?"
Vivian shook her head.
"That's okay. It's just a great organization." They pulled out into the damp September air and stopped on the curb. After taking a moment to set the brakes, the nurse came around to squat next to her. She had short, brown hair in a pixie cut that framed a blinding smile, and she looked a little bit younger than Vivian herself. "You know, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Dysarthria is extremely common in coma patients. We see difficulty with speech all the time."
"Iknow," Vivian whispered, averting her eyes.
"Okay, well, let me give you a piece of advice. Try
not
to use non-verbal communication, especially when you're somewhere that you won't be judged. When you're around family or friends... you know, people you feel safe around? Your physical therapists too. Use that time to talk as much as you can. Babble if you have to. The more you do it, the faster it'll come back."
"Okay." Even when the words came out right, they still sounded wrong to Vivian. They sounded flat. Uninflected. Empty. "I'lltry."
"I know you will." The nurse beamed at her, and gently laid her hand over Vivian's. "Same thing goes for your arm and your legs. Use them as much as you can. They aren't broken? Or damaged? It's just that your brain has forgotten how to use them a little."
"I'mscaredit... itwon'tcomeback."
"That's the most I've heard you say
all week
." The nurse beamed even brighter. "You're gonna do
great
things."
Darren's old blue pickup rattled and wheezed along the glistening blacktop, slick from the morning rain, and stopped in front of her. This time, Vivian let them assist her without being an ass about it, knowing that getting up into the cab of his work truck was going to be a task. It might have only sat a handful of inches higher than a normal car, but it might as well have been Mt. Everest for all she could scale it on her own.
Eventually, after an embarrassing amount of cajoling, Vivian found herself strapped in and settled, and gave a grim wave to the nurse as she went back inside with the wheelchair.
"All right," Darren said, as he jumped up into the driver's seat. "Are you comfortable? Do you need anything?"
Vivian fought down a groan, knowing that he meant well and that this was just the beginning of what was sure to be months of people doting and checking on her. "I'mokay." God, maybe years.
"Excellent. Where to, first?"
"Bank," Vivian said.
"What's that going to look like?"
"Idon'tknowbut..." It felt like she ran out of air every time she wanted to talk. The words came out in a shambling tumble, but her tongue and lips kept forming them as fast as she could think of them. It was hard to pace her breathing as well. "I'mgonnaowealot. Tohospital. Idon'thaveinsurance."
Darren sucked a sharp breath in through his teeth and nodded. "Yeah. That's gonna be tough. We'll have to..." His expression hardened. As his twin, Vivian was quite sure the next thing out of his mouth was going to be 'see if we can help', just as she was sure his brain had caught up to his mouth before he promised anything. It was a deep shock to the system when he'd told her she could stay with him when she got out of the hospital because his wife, Vivian's sister-in-law, had always been very vocal about her misgivings toward Vivian.
In hindsight, those misgivings were fair.
Instead, Darren just gave her his brave smile and nodded.
***
The light drizzle had picked up again. Vivian stood, supported by her crutches, next to her brother as he held the umbrella. There were still some telltale lumps in the dirt in front of them, where the sod had not yet knitted back together completely, but Vivian was staring at the headstone behind that. She'd wanted to ask if the ceremony had a closed casket, and given how severe her own injuries had been that seemed likely, but she was pretty sure Darren hadn't been there to see.
Instead, she asked, "DidyoulikeKevin?"
Darren sputtered and looked sideways at her. "I, uh... I only ever met him... what, once?"
"Idon'tthinkI... likedhim."
Darren chuckled nervously. "I don't, uh... I don't believe that standing over his grave and badmouthing him is going to, like,
invoke his ghostly wrath
or anything, but it's also bad form, Viv."
Vivian shrugged, but since nearly all her weight was resting on her shoulders and the crutches beneath them it looked more like her body collapsed on itself somewhat. "Hewasfunanda... anda... " She had to stop to cough again, and her lungs burned from the effort. "Goodsinger. Hewasagoodsinger... buthechangedour... our... sound. Kindofajerktoo."
"Didn't you hire him?"
Vivian shook her head. "Lucia." It sounded wrong when she said it, like
lew-shuh
, so she repeated it and tried harder to enunciate. "Lucia...broughthimin. Ididn'tsayno."
"Did she ever come to visit? While you were laid up?"
