Amber the babysitter 2
I awoke the next morning feeling like I had a hangover. I hadn't been up that late in months and I surely hadn't been fingered that long by a female in years, so my pussy was a bit sore. I felt horrible. I really did. I felt as if I had taken advantage of someone who was going through some rough changes and had let my hormones and passions get the better of me. Like I was "thinking with the wrong head." The problem was I didn't have that second head like men do, I had a wide, wet, playful pussy that needed attention, just like Amber's needed attention.
I wasn't sure if I was supposed to text her. To say good morning, to have her come over so we could talk without being sexually charged, to end this immediately, and never hire her or speak with her again. But truthfully, I would miss her. I had grown accustomed to hearing from her, even when she wasn't sitting for us, and I would miss our talks on the days she did. So many feelings, thoughts, and emotions were running through me, that I couldn't even get my coffee made before the hustle and bustle of children filled the house.
It wasn't long into the morning when my phone chimed. I was excited to hear it go off, but I was fearful it was Amber. I almost grimaced as I picked it up to see who had texted and sure enough it was Amber. Her message read; "Good Morning. I hope you slept well. I know I did. Don't worry about last night, whatever happens between us, stays with us. I promise." As much of a relief as it was reading that, I wasn't so sure I believed it.
Days went by without too much conversation with her. I was fighting battles with myself throughout that time. On one side I thought to myself, she is a 21-year-old woman who knows what she wants. I am not her family or an employer as if we worked in an office together, so it would be okay if she wanted to experiment with me, maybe develop something ongoing. But on the other side of that token was that she was a 21-year-old woman with minimal "adult" life experiences, whom I had hired as a babysitter. She knew my kids and other moms in the area. I wasn't sure I was ready to take on the emotional attachment she may develop, because she was so young and new to dating women. Or at least being in some form of a lesbian relationship. It was all so troubling.
I will admit that the night we shared was sexy. It was fun. It was stimulating to have someone as young and sexy as her confess her feelings to me and then push me to move forward. It was a big ego boost for me. I mean... I looked back and thought about how I pursued Mary, and how I pushed for us to go further. I had always wanted Jane and did whatever it took for her to throw her attention my way. So, what is the difference now? Outside of the fact that she was pushing for my attention, my love, and my experience? Right?
It wasn't sleeping with her that concerned me. I would have entertained the notion of a lesbian relationship again with anyone I felt a connection and attraction to. It was because it was close to home. It was someone a lot of local people knew and if it were to develop to the point that we came out as lovers, I didn't want the evil eye and judgment from people, who could care less, that I was eating pussy, but would care that I was eating her pussy.
That Friday afternoon, I texted Amber to see if we could meet. I truly wanted to discuss what had happened and see if we could part ways without this going further. I felt it was the right thing to do. Amber replied letting me know she was working a partial shift at Walmart and would be off about 8:00 P.M. I asked her if I could meet her in the parking lot to talk and she agreed.
I dropped the kids off at my parents for dinner, got myself situated, and rehearsed my speech to her, repeating it aloud so I had it prepared to let her go gently and break free from anything physical anymore. I parked my car in the far back corner of the lot, texted her where I was in the lot, and waited for her to come out.
I saw her as she started walking across the parking lot. She wore white ankle socks, white gym shoes, black spandex pants, and a free-flowing pullover shirt under her blue Walmart employee vest. When she spotted my car, she B-lined towards it with great pace. I watched her walk past the hood and to my passenger door and as much as I knew I was there to end this physical aspect; I was overly excited seeing her coming
When Amber opened the door and climbed in, she didn't sit down, like most people would. As soon as she shut the door, she got onto her knees, leaned over my armrest, and kissed me deeply and passionately. I was surprised she had leaned right in and kissed me, instead of just saying hello and then maybe leaning over to kiss me. When she finally broke from our kiss, she stopped face-to-face with me, smiled, and said, "Hi. I missed you."
I had to be polite and told her I had missed her too.
"What's up?" She asked, knowing I had asked her to meet me.
I fumbled with my words but started to spit out my rehearsed speech when I could see the defeating look in Amber's eyes. I didn't want to break her heart and, in some ways, I wished I felt better about this situation, but I wanted her to know all of my concerns about this going further. When I had dribbled out the last bit of my fast-paced, nervous rantings, Amber smiled at me and said she understood. She sat quietly for a few seconds. When she spoke aloud, she listed her reasons for us to continue, she told me that she was grown, she knew what she was doing and what she would be getting into. She promised me that she wasn't there to get me in trouble or expose us to the world. She felt she needed to be with me and experience something she had desired for a while.
I heard every word clearly and understood where she stood, but I was still very concerned about things between us. I could tell she was unhappy and very disappointed, so I leaned over and put my arm around her neck, pulling her into me for a long supportive hug. Amber's head lay across my inner shoulder just over my right tit. Her fingers lightly rubbed over the top of my left hand and she was whispering how much she knew had come to believe she was a lesbian. How much she adored me and how much she wished girls her age were just as mature and understanding as I was. Recanting how much fun and excitement she had last weekend with me. How she was so nervous and shy, but wanted so much more.
While listening to her talk aloud, I felt she understood my thought process and accepted my concerns. She understood that I believed that she needed to find someone her age and develop that lust with them. That I didn't want the whole neighborhood didn't need to know we were sleeping together. That she wouldn't be able to be with me when she wanted because of the kids. That she couldn't just come to sleep over or go on weekends away because there would be no babysitter.
However, as fast as she acknowledged my concerns, she also spoke aloud about what she wanted, what she desired, and what she felt might come of this. She told me she wanted this; that she wanted us because I had experience. I wasn't afraid of being involved, unlike the girls her age. That she needed someone like me to guide her, to let her become who she was going to be. To teach her how to be a woman and be with a woman. She spoke out several times about how much she had fallen for me and never had an attraction to boys or girls, the way she felt for me.
Feeling her warmth while holding her, smelling the last bit of her lovely perfume, and just being alone with her in my car, made me realize that maybe, as much as I was denying it, perhaps I had fallen for her too. Maybe I was all wrong. Perhaps she was right in needing someone like me to teach her what it was like to be in love with a woman. To feel that passion and desire with a woman. Maybe I did need her love and attention, just as much as she needed mine.
Amber lifted her head and looked at me deeply in my eyes. We just sat silent for a while, the ambient noise of the parking lot and flowing traffic the only sounds filling the space. "I am in love with you." She spoke out. "I know that seems deep, without us ever being together. I don't want to lose this chance. I have felt this way for a long time." She furthered.
"I know you are older, have kids, and have a different life than I do, but I need you. I need you in my life." She whispered out.
I got choked up. My heart melted hearing those words, because strangely enough, I never heard them from Mary, even though we dated for almost a year. I surely never heard them from Jane. Even more strikingly, it's how I felt about Mary. It was similar to things I had said to her while trying to get us to move forward together. But yet, never heard those words back.
I couldn't even begin to tell you why I needed those words back then. Or why I needed someone to show me that kind of love. Why I ever wanted to date a woman? Why I even thought about having a relationship with someone who had the same equipment I did. Why I felt I needed to have a lesbian lover. Why I had that urge to come out and say "My girlfriend." Maybe it was the lack of love in my marriage. The way it ended. The lack of sex, hunger, drive, sexuality, passion, and desire, which had left our house, long before he ever did. Maybe I was a lesbian all along and just never knew it. But, when I needed those words, those feelings, and those emotions back then from the woman I was in love with, I never got them.
All I knew at that moment was that this sweet, young, innocent beautiful woman, who was resting in my arms, had more courage, more sense, and more honesty, than the woman I slept with for months, who couldn't come out to anyone. Yet, was licking my pussy as much as I licked her. I hadn't even dated Amber; we had one night together a week ago. And now as we sat in this parking lot, holding one another, she was the one who needed me and needed my attention. Which was way more than I had received from the previous two I had.
My heart was thumping, as much as every bit of me inside thought, leave this alone. The other half of me was screaming to finally become who I felt I was becoming so many years ago, a full-blown lesbian. The thoughts that had been hindered, or even repressed for so many years, even while dating Chuck, were ringing loudly like a church bell on Sunday mornings. Maybe I should just accept where I was. Maybe I should just accept that even though I knew I was Bi-Sexual, it was time to change sides for good. Perhaps it was destiny, and possibly I needed someone like Amber to bring me back. To show me, as much as I could show her.
Somewhere inside of me, the thoughts of seducing her, making love to her, and having our naked bodies deep under my warm covers, became overwhelming. She was opening doors; that I believed were long closed. It hit me hard. I was falling for her too. I loved our chats; I loved seeing her. I loved it when I got home from going out and she was there and we'd sit for hours talking. I loved getting random texts from her, or surprise news about her life. All those times we just sat and exposed ourselves as our friendship was developing. I was into her; I just hadn't realized it until now.
I felt a fire brewing inside me I hadn't in a long time. It wasn't some wild lust. It was the passion of being with, and perhaps having the opportunity to fall in love with a woman. I didn't care that she had a pussy, or was inexperienced. That was a bonus. I could teach her everything she needed to know. There was no doubt, that I had been seeking love since before my marriage, and even though I had been in love with two different men and one woman, I was now beginning to turn my focus on her.
I leaned down and kissed Amber deeply. As our tongues swirled around each other's mouths, I felt the tears that had welled up in her eyes hitting the sides of my cheek. I knew this was for real. That she was in love with me and wanted us to develop a relationship. The more we kissed, the more she edged in closer pressing her body into mine, the more I felt my heart filling with life and my stomach filling with butterflies. The more we kissed and the more we held each other tighter, the more I felt this was a chance for us to become something further than just some intimate playtime lovers. This was a chance for me to experience lesbian love like I had always wanted.
My thoughts were deep and emotional. I was still so concerned about her age and our connection. But I was cautiously willing to take the chance. To finally hear a female tell me she loved me and wanted to be with me was something I longed for since Mary. To build something more than sexual lust was beyond desirable. I knew our age difference, may make things conflicting at times, but I also felt she was being truthful and honest about how she felt.
As my thoughts deepened and my lust grew, Amber pulled my shirt from inside the waistline of my jeans and slid her hand up and under my shirt. She grabbed a firm hold of my left tit over my bra, pushing it into my chest. She kissed me harder and deeper than she ever had before and I felt her fears and concerns about being with a woman were subsiding. Amber let go briefly, spun her hand sideways, and slid her palm into my bra cup putting her warm hand on my bare skin. She tweaked my nipple making it hard and moaned lightly as she played with my tit. I was so turned on and so aroused that I felt my pussy start tingling.
