After Shelley's long day of classes that Wednesday--made even longer by her choice to start the day off by working out--she finally walked through the front door at around 7:30 pm.
I glanced over at her and smiled as I finished plating the piping hot roasted chicken with herb potatoes I prepared for us. The timing worked out perfectly.
"Hope you're hungry," I greeted her.
"Starving."
She started to walk to the couch and I stopped her with a holler.
"Hey!"
My love looked over as I stared at her, vexed, waiting for her to realize why I demanded her attention.
After a few seconds, she let out an "oh" of acknowledgment. She walked over to me as I put down the hot pan and gave me a quick kiss.
"I'm sorry. I've just had a long day. My brain is running on fumes."
It wasn't like either of us to be the last one to arrive home and not greet the other with a kiss straight away. In fact, it had seemingly become some sort of unspoken routine. Aside from kicking off our shoes or hanging up a coat, it was always the very first thing we did. The fact that she didn't do it here was frankly off-putting. I had to tell myself not to read into it much.
Dinner was quiet. It was so unusual for us. The evening suddenly had the awkwardness of an early date in a relationship where you've run out of topics to discuss. I decided to nudge us in the right direction.
"How was the gym?"
After a brief pause, without looking up from her plate, Shelley responded. "It was fine."
Throw me a bone here, babe!
"Was it a leg day or a torso day or...?"
"Want more wine?" she asked me, abruptly halting our conversation as she got up from the table.
"Uh..." I started, pondering my response, "I don't think so. If I have too much, I might not be able to...do much tonight...if you catch my drift."
She spun back around to look at me as I gave her a coy smirk. Her expression was much too contradictory for my liking.
"Oh, honey, maybe not tonight. I really am feeling kinda tired and I'm just not--yeah, not tonight."
The finality of her decision made me yearn for the early days of our relationship when, even if she was declining sex, she would still at least flirt back a little first. Also, just two days ago I caught her masturbating on the couch and today her libido was kaput?
"Yeah, no problem," I finally mustered. Really, though, it felt like a problem.
The evening dragged on without any excitement. It was like we were being forced to spend time with each other. It was never like that before this week. I tried to pinpoint it, and came to the conclusion that nothing else of note happened but our untimely run-in with Marcus. I couldn't figure out why that was still bugging her though. It couldn't be that she craved the spontaneity of grabbing someone and doing them on a table, that she was enticed by it--she did just decline sex after all. It couldn't still be embarrassment, because she hardly knew Marcus at all. I couldn't pinpoint it, and it bugged the ever-loving shit out of me.
I looked over at her as all these thoughts were swirling around my head. The TV was watching us. Shelley's eyes were glued to her phone; her thumbs pounded away at the keyboard. She had to be texting someone. I had no idea who, and I wasn't gonna ask. I'd wait for her to tell me, which I was sure she'd do. We're the kind of couple who are very open about everything with each other. That also happened to be the reason why we're the kind of couple who doesn't snoop through each other's phones--there's no need with the policy we had on sharing.
About 10 minutes after I had noticed her texting, she got up and announced that she was going to meet her friend Evelyn for a coffee.
"Oh? I thought you were tired," I prodded.
"I am, it's just...Evelyn is...her mom is sick and...baby, I just want to be there for her right now.
"She needs a friend," she ended with conviction after seeming frazzled when beginning to explain her unexpected leave.
"Okay," I conceded. Truth is: I was more than okay with it. This night felt like a wash already. I could use some alone time, especially when the connection between us seemed frayed.
After going to change, she came back out ready to leave in a low-cut shirt that showed a moderate amount of cleavage. It wasn't necessarily unusual for her to wear something like that--she had many tops of that nature--it just seemed unorthodox for her to wear one while grabbing a quick coffee with a friend on a weeknight.
She sent a quick "bye" my way, grabbed her coat, and zoomed out the door. After sitting there for a minute in silence, it struck me that she didn't kiss me goodbye, just as it did with our failed hello. I chalked it up to the awkwardness of the evening; the week.
Now, maybe this is shameless, maybe it's not, but the mere sight of the bare skin of the top curves of my girlfriend's breasts was enough to send me into a frenzy. Sometimes, I still feel like a teenager, just without the posters of busty women on the walls of my room. I pulled my dick out and began jacking off.
I know I watch too much porn; I really do. So I tried desperately to just use my imagination on this occasion. It was getting me damn close but not quite near the finish line. I reached for my phone and went to open my spank bank, when I had a weird thought come over me. I never used to think this before, but I found myself wishing that Marcus had a woman upstairs with him right now for me to eavesdrop on.
Being so turned on by another guy's sex life that I yearned for the next time I could masturbate to his next romp was slightly emasculating. It was emasculating because I realized that I couldn't remember the last time that having sex got me as horny as this thought.
Just before I clicked on a video, I heard movement from the unit above me. Like an answer from the heavens--also above me--I believed Marcus was greeting somebody at his door. Yeah, I suppose it could just be a buddy of his coming over to hang, but since it's Marcus we're talking about, I presumed the odds were much higher that it was a
fuck
buddy.
Please. Please.
...what the fuck?
What's wrong with me?
This is so pathetic. You're pathetic.
I put my dick away after having a sudden loss of arousal. It was like a wave of sobriety crashed over me at once. I was begging--
God?
--for my upstairs neighbour to start fucking someone.
And then, with my dick now tucked away nicely, he did just that. Hard.
As if the same sobering wave ebbed in the opposite direction, my shaft began stiffening back to attention.
I looked over to the front door and saw my Nikes sitting on our shoe mat. It's like a sign. A contrived, half-baked suggestion put forth by my mind.
Just do it.
I did it. I pulled out my fully-chubbed cock and began wacking away at myself like a guileless machine submitting to its creator.
Marcus was surely fucking this loose bitch right by his doorway. I couldn't tell if it was against the door or if they were going at it on the floor. The bottom line was that Marcus' sexual prowess took a boost regardless. I've never had Shelley so horny that the second she walked through the door, she mounted me right then and there.
Fuck, that would be so hot.
For now, my options were limited to just one--vicarious excitement.