Ate's First Stray

Kate dropped the kids at Brian’s mother’s house on the ocean. The plan was for them to stay there for the week, and for Kate and Brian to commute there from work during the coming few days. After leaving the kids with her mother in law, Kate headed back home. She was more relaxed now that she had made up her mind to cease the infidelities that had consumed her sexually for the previous several weeks.

In fact, she thought, sex with Brian was really pretty satisfying after all, even though she had to admit to herself that it was nothing at all like what she had just experienced with Marc and Derrick. Nevertheless, she loved her family, and she would learn to deny herself the fruits she had just had a chance to taste for the first time in her life.

Brian was changing into his swim trunks when he noticed it. It was just a small edge of what looked like milk white plastic showing from under the edge of the bed’s dust ruffle. When he reached to pick up what he thought was trash that one of the boys had left behind when getting into his parents’ bed, Brian realized that this was not something left behind by one of his boys, but very possibly by one of Kate’s.

He knew immediately that he was holding a very large man’s condom that had been rolled out over what had to be a very substantial penis. Brian noted that it did not look as though there was any semen in the condom, but there was still residual moisture still evident all the way from the tip to the opening.

A wave of nausea overtook him as he felt his head begin to pound. Brian remembered now the phone call he had placed to Kate and how he had been puzzled by how she was breathing and gasping. He recalled having asked her, somewhat jokingly, if she was having an orgasm. Now, as he stood by the side of their bed holding a used rubber, Brian’s instincts knew that Kate had strayed, and in the very bed she had shared with Brian for so many years.

Physically, he felt a migraine beginning and the knots in his stomach tightening, and the huge wave of anxiety that crashing down and swallowing him. He could not comprehend how his loving wife could have done this to him. But, he knew that a used condom by the side of the bed meant that Kate had been up to no good.

He felt empty. He felt totally betrayed. He felt completely alone. What was he going to do? What would happen to his sons? What had Kate done to their family? He was for the moment, totally overwhelmed with a mixture of shock and grief. Yet, as he was having these thoughts, Brian just hoped against hope that Kate could provide him with some kind of reasonable answer about what this massive condom was doing on the floor next to the bed.

Somehow, he did not know how, Brian collected himself. He knew Kate was on her way here without the boys. He would confront her, and if her answers were what he thought they might be, he would leave immediately for his mother’s to spend the night and try to figure things out. Just then, Kate made her entrance.

When he saw her, anger replaced anxiety. Holding up the condom and letting it dangle from the fingers of his right hand, Brian asked his wife: “Was he good, Kate? It looks like he’s got a huge one. Maybe that’s it, wasn’t I big enough for you?” He stared as his wife who was as stunned now, as Brian had been when he found the condom.

Kate stammered. She hesitated, giving Brian all the answer he needed. Finally, she uttered: “What’s that? What are you talking about Brian?”

“Come on Kate, we both know this isn’t mine. And, the last time I checked, the boys are not into needing these yet. Can’t you just cut the bullshit and admit the truth? When a guy finds a used condom on the floor next to his bed, it seems like his wife or her lover, or both are sending a pretty clear message to him.”

Kate burst into tears. She couldn’t lie, knowing that it was pointless. “Brian, don’t say anything else. I love you more than anything. If there is anything I have learned over the past few weeks, it’s that. You have to believe me. I really love only you. And I have no idea what I have been doing, but it’s over. I made that decision already. I never wanted you to find out. I never wanted to hurt you or the boys, but now I know I have. I am so sorry. But believe me, it’s over Brian. I love you and you only.”

Brian could hear his wife speaking, but his processing was gone. His utter shock at hearing his loving wife of twelve years essentially admitting to infidelity was too much for him to comprehend.

Now the reality of what his wife was saying settled into Brian’s mind, and he dissolved into tears, screaming: “Why, why? How could you do this to us, to the boys, to me? What did I ever do to deserve this?”

Kate moved in the direction of her husband. “Brian, believe me, I am so sorry. You did nothing. I love you and I have no idea why I have done anything lately. But, I really love only you, and I never meant to hurt you, or the boys, or our family. You have to believe me that I made up my mind that this horrible part of my life is over. You are the only one I can love.” She was crying almost hysterically and was about to hug her husband when he threw his hands up.

“Don’t come near me. Don’t even think of touching me. You can’t possibly think that you’re going to fuck some guy in our bed; he leaves his rubber so I can find it, and then I am going to buy your story that I am the only one you really love. Be serious Kate. When did you plan to fuck him again? And, who is the lucky guy anyway? Is he someone I know? Who is the fucking bastard who has ruined my life and the lives of my kids?”

Kate had stopped her crying and was sobbing now. Her eyes widened at Brian’s question. She couldn’t tell him about Marc and Derrick. She was afraid of how Brian would react. Having been unfaithful with Marc was bad enough, but if she told Brian that she had fucked both Marc and Derrick in the span of only a few weeks, she thought he would go crazy. What’s more, what would he think of her sudden taste for black cock. This whole scene was too horrible for Kate to bear, but she had to do whatever she could now to salvage her marriage.

“Brian, he’s someone I work with. It just happened a couple of weeks ago when we went out and I ended up having too much to drink. It was a mistake that I regretted as soon as it was over. And I swear that I have no interest in him or anyone else but you. You have to believe me.” She pleaded with Brian and suggested that her sexual escapades of the past two weeks had been a one-night stand with Marc.

Brian looked at his wife, stunned. He instinctively knew that it had to be Marc, whom Brian had met a couple of times. He remembered Marc to be a young black guy who was very handsome and very well built. His heart sank and his mind raced thinking of how this black stud had taken his wife, and how she had probably loved it. “Was it that young black guy Marc who fucked you in our bed?” Brian asked. He almost hoped that it had been someone else, someone who was not so physically handsome.

“Brian, he’s your age and you have to understand that we had both been drinking and he followed me home just to make sure I was ok. He came in and I made us both a drink, and I know now that I should not have, but I did. And then, we just got carried away. Brian, believe me, this has NEVER happened before, and I felt horrible about it and so did Marc. Neither of us plans to do anything like it again. He is looking to transfer into another work group different from mine. He feels terrible, and he knows that I do.” She continued to lie; hoping that Brian would believe it had really not been anything more than just an accident that happened as the result of too much drinking.

“You know what Kate? This is the worst fucking day of my life. I can’t believe that I am standing here listening to you tell me that you fucked some black stud just because the two of you had too much to drink. It’s like you have ripped my heart right out of me. What were you thinking? Lots of times people have too much to drink, but they don’t go out and fucking cheat on their spouse.

I am not sure what happened between you two. I don’t even know if what you’re telling me is the truth. For all I know, this might have been going on for a long time. There might have been other guys. Maybe you have a thing for black guys. How would I know? Did you fuck Derrick, the pool guy? He’s black too.

Kate’s heart skipped a beat and fear gripped her more tightly. “Marc, I didn’t do anything with Derrick or anyone else. You have to believe me, this was a mistake and I hate myself for it. I don’t even remember most of it, I was so drunk.” She was crying almost hysterically fearing that her worst nightmare was about to come true.

“But you were sober enough to let his black cock into you, and you aren’t saying he raped you, so you must have let him do it willingly. I hope you enjoyed it Kate. I hate you Kate. I hate you, and I wish I never fucking married you. You are nothing more than a fucking whore. You know what Kate? You can have Marc or any other black, or white, or Asian, or Latino you fucking want. But you know who you can’t have ever again you bitch? You can’t fucking have me.

I loved you, had three wonderful boys with you. I have been faithful to you always. Never once did I do anything with anyone else. And now I find a used condom at my bedside because my wife has been fucking a black stud. I’m going to my mother’s tonight. Don’t even think of following me you bitch. You can call your friend Marc if you want company because as far as I am concerned, you are not my wife from this point on.

You don’t have to wait for the divorce, you can go fuck anyone your filthy little cunt desires.” Brian’s head was pounding, and his heart was broken. His anger had helped him stay put together enough to tell Kate off without breaking down. But inside of his mind he was devastated because he had truly been totally in love with Kate, and he was heartbroken to think that this could have happened.

Kate could not believe her ears. She threw her arms out to hug Brian and screamed, “No Brian! Don’t say those things! I’m sorry I ever did this. Please, please! Please give me another chance Brian. We can’t throw away our family, what we’ve had together.”

Brian stepped away and did not let his wife hug him.

“You made your choice Kate. I loved you. I loved you completely; you cannot know how much I loved you. I will always treat you civilly in front of the boys, for their sake. But know this, I truly regret ever having met you. And when our boys are not around, I will not acknowledge that you’re alive. I’m going to my mother’s tonight and will come for my stuff tomorrow. But be prepared, Kate. I am not giving up our sons.

I will call Steve Winston tomorrow and get a divorce lawyer referral. How do you think all of our friends will react when they hear you’ve been fucking a black guy? I hope he was worth it Kate, for your sake.” Brian threw together some things he would need for the next day as Kate carried on hysterically begging him not to leave.

The days and weeks that followed were heartbreaking for Kate and Brian and their boys and extended families. But Brian went ahead and filed for a divorce immediately. At first, Kate was in a state of shock over how her life had fallen apart so suddenly and so completely. She could not return to work for weeks as a result of the anxiety and depression that followed Brian’s departure from the house. Mutual friends she had shared with Brian were courteous to her, but cold. She felt as though they hated her for what she had done to Brian and the boys.

Marc and Derrick both offered to do anything they could for her, but she told them that she could have nothing to do with them ever again. She had lost all desire for sex, and while she still found them attractive, she just had no interest in anything except getting Brian back. Eventually, she got herself back to work and the kids kept her occupied at home, but she missed Brian terribly. She hated herself for what she had done that had changed her life.

Kate’s repeated attempts to get Brian to give her another chance were rebuffed by him. He lived at his mother’s house by the ocean, and he shared joint custody of the boys per order of the court. The boys missed their father at home, but they saw him almost every day. They eventually fell into the new routine.

Brian never talked poorly about Kate to his sons. And, he was always civil with her in front of the boys. Kate mistook his pleasant behavior in front of the boys as a sign that maybe he could be reached if she kept trying to persuade him to let her back into his life. But, on a couple of occasions when she tried to talk with him when the boys were not present, he neither spoke to her, nor looked at her.

For his part, Brian missed Kate desperately at first. He cried often when he was alone. He had loved her so fully, and it was difficult to be without her. But when he thought of what she had done, feelings of anger and hatred would surface. Over time, he learned to manage these feelings, and at times he questioned himself as to whether he should have given Kate another chance. But he stubbornly refused to entertain that thought.

And, once word got out that the still handsome and physically fit college prof was up for grabs, lots of women made overtures in his direction. It was six months before he went on his first date. Gradually, he started seeing women again. It felt strange at first, but he became comfortable dating again.

About nine months after the break up, Kate and her sister went to a restaurant that she and Brian and the boys had frequented in happier days. As Kate ate her dinner, she became nauseous when she saw her boys, who were spending the weekend with Brian, enter along with a very attractive young woman who was clearly Brian’s new girlfriend. Kate said a quick hello to the boys and rushed from the restaurant crying hysterically. Brian ignored his soon to be former wife.

Just about a year after the split, the divorce was finalized. Kate would ask her sons if their father were still with his girlfriend. They confirmed her fears. Kate had not dated at all during this time. Marc had continued to try to get her to go out. Kate’s physical desire for him was slowly returning with time, but she was saving herself for Brian, hoping that he might come around. As time passed, she began to realize that her idyllic family life of so many years was truly over.

The boys liked Brian’s new girlfriend very much. She was a former student of his at the college, and she was wonderful with the boys, and she was absolutely beautiful as well. It was coming up to two years after Kate and Brian had split when the boys came home from the beach house and told their mother that “Daddy’s getting married.” Kate felt as though someone had hit her in the stomach and kicked her in the head.

The revelation killed her hopes of ever reconciling with her former husband. Even after two years of being ignored by him, she still loved him. And now, she felt that all hope was lost. She knew that she had no one to blame but herself. She started therapy again, and she went on to anti depressant medication once again as well.

Eventually, she resolved in her mind that she would have to settle for some other man, other than the man she truly loved. Kate accepted a date with Marc and the sex was good, and Marc was a good guy she thought, but he just was not someone she saw herself with as his wife. She declined further opportunities to date him.

Finally, Kate resolved that she had to move on, to get herself together for her boys’ sake and for her own. She decided to write Brian a letter wishing him well in his future marriage, and also apologizing one last time for how she had ruined what they all had had together.

She also decided to tell him everything from start to finish. She told him that the ironic thing was how he found the condom after she had resolved to stop seeing Derrick and Marc. That was painful, but she felt relieved and free after she did it.

She also told Brian about how totally depressed she had been over the past two years, and how she had hoped he could forgive her and give her one more chance. But she acknowledged that now she realized that was a silly dream. Finally, she told him that she truly wished she could undo the hurt she had done to him and the boys. She knew that his not talking to her when they were alone together was a measure of how much she had hurt him. She wished him well and ended the letter.

The next time Kate saw Brian, he thanked her for her letter when they were alone. His eyes had tears in them as he did so. He told her that he had missed her incredibly at first, but was so devastated by what she had done; he could not be with her. He told her that even now, he still missed her and what they all had had together. He also said that knowing the full story was better for him, and although it still hurt to know it, he also realized that she too had suffered greatly because of her actions.

As he left with the boys, he said, “By the way, Terri and I have called off the wedding.

While I really like her very much, and the boys do as well, I realized that I don’t really love her. And it would be selfish on my part to marry her when I am not fully in love with her because my heart is elsewhere.”

Kate was stunned as Brian said these words and left the house with their three boys. It was the first time he had spoken to her alone in over two years.

This finishes this one. Thanks for the many, many pleasant and supportive notes.