Saturday, December 19, 2020, 1300 L
Sara's period came and went, and our emotions were mixed about the results. We were disappointed that we were still unsuccessful despite our best attempts in the last window. On the same topic, we were glad Caleb's self-control had worked. As much as we loved our accidental twins, Jacob and Matthew, we looked forward to more of our own. We had already been receiving looks from strangers. We feared what adding a third from Caleb might do. The two distinct black infants stood in contrast to Jack and Lily. While we had our friends and family believing our clinical mix-up. Unfortunately, explaining our cover story to every passerby would never be an option. Once someone had a good look, it was obvious that the twins were not adopted. Despite Caleb's complete contrast to Sara's porcelain white skin, it wasn't enough to hide her genetics thoroughly. Jacob and Matthew showed Sara's features softly but still clearly underneath their darkish complexion. We had hoped early on that Sara's features might not be discernible in public. The questionable looks I sometimes received from strangers betrayed the truth.
I hate to admit it, but I first feared accompanying my wife on errands with the twins in the first weeks taking them out. I would quickly load them into the double stroller from the car, parking far out in the Costco lot. Then, dropping the sunshade low to obstruct a direct view. A reactionary habit I was trying to break. Strangers would give me various looks once they saw my wife's traits in the twins. From a distance, we could pose as a generic white couple adopting two underprivileged black infants. Once they saw Sara's unmistakable likeness, it made it clear she was the mother of these two dark and large babies. While Sara was sympathetic to my plight of being cucked so permanently by an accident, I could tell my actions hurt her--the act displayed disappointment in what had transpired, as if the situation was her fault entirely. Rumors at both our jobs were making their way back to us now. It was expected, given the distinct traits between me and the birth father. Despite this, our story about the IVF fertility clinic mix-up held up well and denied any serious inquiry. Even so, I had nine months to prepare for this reality, but it still hit me like a ton of bricks the first time I heard the dark rumors at work.
The most popular theory was that Sara had cheated on me, sleeping with an unknown, handsome black stranger one night. While I received looks of sympathy at the office, Sara was getting bombarded at work with scowls from older teachers. Thankfully, our cover story was just strong enough. It put just enough doubt these coworkers from truly bringing it to light.
Not long after, I found myself constantly hating how I felt. I needed to change how I viewed the entire situation. I felt guilty as it was, with my reckless desire to secretly breed my wife at one point, through guided suggestions, never committing myself openly about my desires to my wife. The original end goal was met--the result of my conflicted journey producing Jacob and Matthew. I had to live with that past desire secretly until my last days. Meanwhile, I needed to step up for the whole family's sake. Despite not sharing my genetics, they were my wife's children, carrying my name. As far as they both understood, I was their father. It felt wrong that Sara should feel any guilt about what happened. I wish I could be honest about my headspace then. Equally to blame was the miscommunication between Caleb and me. My senses hadn't returned entirely yet, that day Caleb drained his balls into my wife, unaware of the danger.
I feared what we might have awakened in Caleb since that accident. Did he unearth a desire to father more offspring after witnessing his creations in the flesh? Even after possibly impregnating my wife's coworker, he still talked about it, like impregnating women was a game, and pregnancy a trophy or badge of honor at times. We trusted Caleb completely by this stage; he made it a point to reassure Sara he wasn't going to cum inside her unless she let him. Starting a family was a life-changing event that couples spend years planning before committing to 18 years of their lives. Or so I thought, Caleb's entire perception was different. He had already fathered Jacob and Matthew with Sara and was looking to impregnate Hannah next, I feared.
This wasn't about becoming a father; it was about breeding, I thought. Caleb might be letting his biological drive take over, ensuring the continuation of his perfect African genes. I shook the idea from my head and reassured myself. He's only 20; he couldn't possibly want that responsibility. Even with other men raising his children completely without him, it was still a lot to handle becoming a new father, so I thought.
Since those chaotic months, much has changed. I smiled, recalling those first months with Jacob and Matthew. I watched Sara play with the twins. I have since committed to raising Matthew and Jacob no differently than Lily and Jack. It felt almost normal as of late, fathering them as my own. It was comforting to sense at least my wife's genetics in them. Extending her ancestry at the very least. However, it was almost unsettling at first watching them develop my personality. They looked like an extension of Caleb. Fortunately, I was able to come to terms with it. This was quickly becoming no different than raising Jack and Lily. I had begun to let myself enjoy being a father to them as of late. I looked forward to watching them grow. It brought warmth to my heart watching the emotional weight lifted off my wife when she first noticed the change. Sara, catching my mind wandering, gave me a loving smile as she finished a round of peekaboo with Jacob. Matthew is looking on, giggling happily beside them.
"I think he might want to play too," my wife said warmly as she motioned me towards Matthew. I nodded, then took Matthew over to the base of the couch. Momentarily, thinking back to the times Caleb could have impregnated Sara on this piece of furniture alone. I shook the thought as I began to play peekaboo with Matthew. Between the two of them, growing, he was still clearly the larger one. He was also more relaxed and quieter for his age. Jacob quickly picked Sara as his preferred parent. It was unexpected watching Matthew become more attached to me. It was incredible how quickly things could shift from terror to parental joy.
The quiet afternoon had begun to pass. Hannah and Mark made the tranquility possible by taking Lily and Jack to the ski resort for the night. While happy to help, Mark was confused at his wife's insistence on taking the two on an overnight trip. I felt guilty convincing him it was just Hannah's way of encouraging him to start their own family. It still felt odd having Hannah as an accomplice, her work allowing us an uninterrupted evening with Caleb.
"Still looking forward to tonight?" I said, attempting to hide some of my excitement.
"Maybe just a little," my wife said, slightly blushing.
"It'll be nice letting Caleb spend time with Jacob and Matthew. How little time he gets with them must be hard on him," she continued, her face growing slightly pained.
"Me too, but he'll have a family of his own one day to enjoy. He's got more than enough time, and he's only 20. Playing blocks and burping babies is probably far from what he wants to be doing at his age," I said, attempting to comfort her guilt.
"I don't know, it sure seems like he wants to get Sasha pregnant, sooner rather than later. I mean, you still remember me, and you were both terrified of getting pregnant, even long after college, and that was a struggle. It feels like a large part of him wants that family now," my wife said as she lowered the TV volume.
"He's also never had to change a diaper, either. He only got to do the fun part," I responded in jest.
"I think once the excitement wears off, he'll calm down about the whole thing. I don't think his girlfriend is exactly jumping at the idea. Understandably, he wants to have more, and it's exciting. We both know he's not ready yet to be an actual father. Even if he doesn't admit it, I think he does too," I said, becoming slightly more serious. I questioned myself if I believed that anymore, given recent events and Caleb's persistently testing if we would give him permission for an honest attempt on Sara's womb. The thought of giving in made my limp cock twitch, starting a soft erection I quickly ended with some rational thinking.
"I mean, you're probably right. Still, he won't be able to see them forever. It's already hard enough with what little he gets to now. We knew if it happened, it would have to be this way. It still sucks," my wife gave me a sad smile.
1900L
My heart beat as I saw a set of headlights pull into the driveway. I smiled at Sara as she gathered Jacob and Matthew into the living room. I opened the front door just as Caleb was reaching for the doorbell. He was dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, looking more suited for the gym than a date. The smell of body wash and below-average cologne only betrayed his accurate preparation for the evening.
I greeted him with a warm handshake and smile. My mind flashed back to the first time I greeted our bull here. While still lean, he had been filling out muscularly since starting college. His focus shifted from track to football, having just made the team that year as a second-string tight end. A significant departure from his high school days. He was still getting used to the position, but it was clear his gifted athleticism was more than making up for it. We made awkward small talk as I led him into the living room.
My wife was lying alongside Matthew and Jacob on the floor. Sara wore one of her typical mom outfits. Her high-waisted jeans rode high on her now wider hips, and her older striped sweater was snug against her larger breasts. She would complain at times that, from having the twins, all her old clothes were too tight, despite quickly regaining and surpassing her pre-pregnancy body through a religious workout routine. Secretly, I loved her fertile curves being on display.
Caleb stood rigidly, unsure if he should join his twins on the floor. Sara, sensing his hesitation, stood and greeted her bull warmly. Embracing the black stud tightly before taking his hand and guiding him to his creations. He attempted to mimic my wife's smooth actions with them. He was inexperienced in parenthood, which was made only more apparent compared to Sara's evident expertise, having raised both Jack and Lily before. Caleb tried his best to play naturally, but it was clear Jacob and Matthew had no idea who this stranger was, acting almost timid and looking towards Sara and me for comfort. It was only towards the end of the hour when Matthew and Jacob began to look at the man who resembled them so clearly--their glances lasted longer than they would with a proper stranger.
Eventually, it was time to put the twins to bed and move on with our date. Sara stepped away to prepare as Caleb assisted me, bringing Jacob upstairs. I felt some pity as Caleb attempted to put Jacob to bed, while I put Matthew into his crib. Jacob remained restless until I took over tucking him in. I imagined the genetic connection would bring them together immediately. It was not the case, it seemed. Caleb finally relaxed as I walked him downstairs. Clearly, he was putting himself through a lot of stress trying to enjoy the fatherly moments while he could.
Caleb and I took our positions naturally in the main bedroom. I positioned myself on the love seat, getting comfortable. Caleb was undressing before taking a seat on my marital bed. The immediate mating about to occur was taking his mind off things; it was clear he was looking forward to taking Sara bare. Before these risky dates, the previous hesitation had completely evaporated since the possible consequences came true. We avoided eye contact in our practiced manner as we waited for my wife to join us.
