I can't say I was happy. I was frustrated with what was happening between Jason (my bf at the time)
At that point, I felt stuck. I was constantly questioning my decision to date Jasonย because he was my first serious boyfriend. Prior to dating him, I had never been in a monogamous relationship.
I hated the idea of being locked down by anyone or anything. I'm an adventurous woman: I love to travel, I live to explore, I'm fascinated by other people, I study cultures from all over the world, etc. Monogamy seemed so limiting and, frankly, boring to me. But, somehow, Jason convinced me to try it.
Jason and I met at work. He was cute enough, and we got along well. He was fairly ambitious and was trying to work his way up the ladder in his own profession. I was dating a few other people casually when we first met, so when he asked me out, I said yes. I started to like him after a few dates, but after a month he explained to me that he wanted to date me exclusively.
He didn't like the idea of either of us sleeping with other people and wanted to be 100% monogamous. Thinking about it now, it felt manipulative. But I didn't want to break up with him, so I reluctantly agreed to it. He was so happy when I did.
It was difficult in the beginning to not sleep with other people. I was meeting so many amazing people at the time. I started working in another department at work, which was personally and professionally much more fulfilling, and my new group of co-workers was all fantastic. It was there that I met a guy named Hector.
Hector came in late on my first day in this new department, so everyone's attention went to him when he walked in. He apologized to our boss, and she told him it was no problem. He had been working with her for a few years, so they had a familiarity with each other. My eyes must have widened and my jaw had to have dropped at least slightly because I was immediately attracted to him.
H was taller than me, fit, not excessively muscular but still impressive. He had dark olive skin, a beautiful smile, lovely brown eyes, and short, curly, black hair, and he carried a lot of confidence. I know this will sound bad, but I've always had a particular thing for light-skinned and dark-skinned men.
Hector and I got to know each other well. He was so charming, super intelligent, very funny, extremely talented, and he loved to flirt. So did I. He got more attractive by the day. We were paired a lot together at work, and I started becoming very comfortable with him in general. It was way too easy talking to him, and being around him just felt really nice. Hector was older than me, which was a little different. But, admittedly, I liked that a lot because Jason was two years younger than me, and it sometimes showed. Jason and I were both still in our mid-twenties, and he still had some maturing to do. Arguably, a lot of maturing to do.
Hector was a man.
About two weeks into working with Hector, I asked him out. I didn't usually have to do that when it came to dates, since men were constantly asking me out, but I got the impression he wouldn't do it unless I made the first move. While he was flirtatious, I think he was being respectful because I had mentioned Jason to him (this was early on in the relationship).
But to my delight he said he would love to take me out. We never got a chance to go out on a date, though, because, a few days later, it was then when Jason sat down with me and told me he wanted to be exclusive. I told Hector about this, and he was very understanding about it. He told me not to worry about it. While Hector and I stopped texting so much, we did keep up our flirtatious behavior with one another at work.
My relationship with Jason was pushing a year when one night my phone went off. I reached over to the nightstand to grab it and saw that I had a text message. It was from Hector. I was in bed with Jason and looked over at him. He was already asleep; nevertheless, I still hid my phone from him to read what Hector had sent me. I was lying naked next to Jason when I read the text. It said, "Hey! You busy tomorrow night?"
I held my breath for a second. I hadn't heard from Hector in a while. We hadn't been working together as much for a few different reasons, and, to be honest, I was surprised to hear from him. I texted him back and asked him why. He said a friend of his was playing at a jazz gig tomorrow night and asked if I would like to go. I looked over at Jason for a second. I sighed heavily and hesitated before I answered.
I hate to sound mean about this, but sex with Jason was mediocre. He was a good person, but, again, I think he had a lot of maturing to do. Having sex with him was like fooling around, very fast and very unsatisfying. And once he came, he was out. It's not his fault. I was his first serious girlfriend, and he wasn't all that experienced sexually.
I thought it would get better over time, and it did, slightly. But, all in all, I was far more experienced, and I knew what I liked, and, bless his heart, he couldn't give it to me the way I wanted.
I texted Hector back saying I would love to go to this jazz concert. He told me the venue was two blocks away from his apartment and we should meet up at his place and walk over there since he'd be running home from the gym. I told him that sounded perfect. I looked up the venue online and saw that it had been recently renovated. It had an upscale vibe to it, so I decided to wear a black cocktail dress I hadn't worn in a while. Not to brag, but I did (and still do) look very good in it. And I know Hector hadn't seen me in it yet lol.
I showed up to Hector's apartment about ten minutes earlier than planned. He buzzed me in, and he greeted me at the door. He smiled and hugged me at the door. He had just taken a shower, and he smelled so lovely. He had on black slacks and an undershirt and was still buttoning up his dress shirt when I came in. He looked good. I mean, really good. We could have just started making out right there, but he invited me inside instead.
He apologized for running behind, but I told him I was early and not to worry about it. He took me to his kitchen and told me to have a seat and make myself at home. There were two empty glasses of wine and a half-empty wine bottle on the table, and he told me to help myself if I wanted any. I poured myself some wine, and he kind of disappeared into his room to finish dressing up.