As Alyson reclined on the couch she studied her husband Joe. After being married for more than twenty years she had become an expert at figuring out his many moods. But right now she really could not tell what was going on in his head. Not knowing what he was thinking would make her crazy so she asked "Joe what in the world are you thinking so hard about?"
Joe took another drink of his wine and gazed at her for a moment before replying "I'm thinking about our sexual relationship. We've done a lot of different things over the years, most of which you have not wanted to do, yet we are still together and I really don't know what you actually think about it all. I guess that it's pretty sad that I never stopped to think why you allow me to dominate and often humiliate you."
"I mean look at you. You're in your mid forties and you still look great. You're as slim as you were when we were married. You're hair is still naturally blonde and you still have the greatest set of boobs that I have ever seen."
"Over the years I've used you, in some cases abused you, and forced you to provide sexual favors to a long list of strangers both black and white. For much of that time I have just done what seemed natural and, despite your vigorous protests, you have done what I demanded and remained with me. Maybe it's because I have gotten more introspective as I've aged but I've begun to ask myself why? Why have you gone along with everything that I have demanded of you and never left me?"
The real concern on his face was so obvious to me that I took pity on him and decided to try to answer his question. It would take some soul searching for me because I have never tried to put my feelings about our relationship into words.
Why did I allow my husband to do the things that he has done to me over the years? What was it in me that made me feel such a rush when Joe allowed a stranger to see me naked or even use my mouth, pussy and ass for their pleasure? Was something wrong with me? Maybe Joe was normal and I was the sick one. While I may have given these things some thought over the years I never truly examined the "why" of it all. Now my husband wanted a conversation about it. Okay, I thought. Here goes.
"Joe, I'm not exactly sure what part of our sexual relationship you are referring to." I said.
Joe looked at me seriously as he considered my question and he finally said "All of it I guess."
That caused me to chuckle so I took another sip of my wine to buy myself some time before I answered. "Joe, over the years you have subjected me to BDSM, interracial sex, exposed me to strangers, forced me to have sex with multiple partners, deep throat, anal sex and more. Exactly where would you like me to start?"
Now it was his turn to pause and think about the deeper meaning of his questions. "Well sweetheart the basis for my question is simple. Why? I'd like to understand and discuss each aspect but the bigger question always comes back to why. Is there one overriding thing that acts as an umbrella over it all?"
When I considered Joe's last question I had to accept the fact that there was one overriding reason. I answered "Because I enjoy it."
The look of surprise on his face was priceless. His jaw actually dropped as he opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before he was able to get his wits about him. When he finally regained control he blurted out "Because you like it? How can that be? I have listened to you bitch at me countless times, both before and after I had forced you to do something that you claimed you did not want to do."
Now I laughed openly. "Oh Joe" I said. "Of course you could force me to do something that I didn't want to do but do you honestly think that I would still be here if I really disliked what you make me do?"
"Okay. Okay." He said. "What about the first time that I made you let that black college kid fuck you? You have a religious upbringing and you were raised in the South. While I have never known you to do anything overt against blacks in general I know you would never willingly have sex with one. Yet you kissed him as I filmed and took pictures. You stood there calmly while I undressed you first exposing your lovely tits and then your pussy. I made you lay there and spread your legs giving him a clear view of your shaved pussy. I forced you to allow him to play with your tits and finger your pussy. When I ordered you to suck his long black dick you did so and you even wrapped your left hand around his shaft as you sucked his dick showing your wedding rings to the camera. Finally I had him lie down on the floor and told you to squat over him and take his cock in your hand and guide it to your pussy entrance and then slide down on it until his black dick was buried in your white pussy which you did. Then you rolled over onto your back and spread your legs letting him fuck you until he shot a load of his black seed into your pussy. And then I instructed you to spread your legs so that I could get good pictures of his semen as it dripped between your pussy lips. You bitched and complained the whole time. Now you say it was because you liked it? Pardon me if I seem somewhat confused."
Wow I thought. Where is this conversation going? Even as I wondered about that I realized that the conversation was making me hot. I was not sure how I could adequately explain my feelings to my husband because I had never really examined them in detail myself. So I looked deep inside myself and began to answer.
"Joe you are correct about my upbringing and my religion. But let me ask you something first. What is it about interracial sex that you find so exciting when you watch those videos of other men's wives being used by one or more black guys? Do you just like the thought of interracial sex? I know that you watch unmarried women having sex with blacks too. Is it the idea of a married white woman being used by blacks for their entertainment? Do you feel that it is degrading or humiliating for a white woman to allow herself to be used by other men and especially black men?"
"Alyson you keep asking me questions instead of answering mine. I'll answer you but then I want to hear your reasons. Personally it is a turn on for me because I am into humiliation. I think that any white woman who humiliates herself by letting men other than her husband use her is somewhat of a tramp or whore. Being a married woman makes it even more intense and interracial pushes it over the top. The fact that you allow me to manipulate you like that is a turn on too. You might think that it would make me respect you less but it doesn't."
"Okay fair is fair" Alyson responded. It is humiliating. Being used as a play thing by one or more men that I have never met and will probably never meet again makes me feel like a tramp. It is something that I have fantasized about often over the years. What would it be like to have a string of different dicks shooting loads of cum into my pussy one after the other? But it is a fantasy that I would never act on by myself. Yet, because of you, I have had that experience numerous times. But because you make me do it I can enjoy the experience and still rationalize my guilt away."
"When I spread my legs giving a black man access to my pussy and allowing him to hump me until he shoots cum deep into my vagina is a total turn on. It is not something that any married white woman should do but I have thought about it often. I can't tell you how many times I have dreamed about being used by one or more blacks. My prim and proper Southern upbringing would never allow me to do that but because of you I have been able to enjoy the experience numerous times."
"You force me to do things that I have wondered about for years but would never do on my own. Do you have any idea how many women fantasize about interracial sex? Do you know how many white women would secretly love to be dominated by a group of well endowed aggressive black bucks? More than will ever admit it and I'm one of them. I love it when you force me to do degrading things. I am a slut at heart but I am not strong enough to actually act on my impulses because of my upbringing. I am able to enjoy being degraded and humiliated because of you and I love it and I love you."