It had been two months since I'd moved out of Alex's house. We were meeting at the park to "talk," his idea.
I moved out the day after the incident in the shower. I stayed with Alana for a week and then miraculously a coworker was renting out a guest house. I was proud of myself. I was independent. I thought of that time with Alex as a blip on my radar.
"Bella," Alana came up behind me in my kitchen.
"Hi babe," I kissed her check. She flipped her blonde hair and let her hand slide to my slightly protruding belly.
"Hi baby," she cooed.
"Alana, please," I sat down and rolled my eyes at her.
I had only just found out I was pregnant, two and a half months along. I decided to keep it. Not because of a love for Alex or marriage, but because it was my kid. I was even a little excited to finally have my own family. Alana was equally happy and we had begun looking for a 2 bedroom apartment to share. The pregnancy had really brought us closer. The only point of contention had been my decision to not tell Alex. Alana felt it was wrong. I had to threaten her life to keep her from telling Fischer, plus I had to avoid him at all times.
"So, I found a couple of good places..." my cell rang cutting her off.
I grabbed my phone holding up a finger to Alana to pause. The number was unknown,
"Hello?"
"Bella, it's Alex."
I paused. I hadn't heard his voice in months.
"I was hoping we could meet up and talk. I've been thinking of you and I...well...I just want to talk."
"Um, ok." I shut my eyes, God damn, what was wrong with me.
"Hey," he came up behind me.
"Hi there," I uncrossed my arms unsure of how to greet him.
He extended his hand, and I gave him mine. He held it gently and smiled softly at me. He looked good. He hadn't shaved for a week or so and he was scruffy. His blue eyes glistened.
"You look great," He released my hand. I brushed a hand over my floral dress and jean vest. My hair was loose around my face.
"Thanks."
"Want to sit?" he gestured toward a bench.
We sat close enough to touch each other, but stayed apart. Alex cleared his throat. I looked him over out of the corner of my eye. He was wearing a dark suit and had obviously come from work. He looked tired.
"Working on a Saturday?" I smirked.
"Shit, yes," we both laughed.
"How's it going?"
"It's better, you know. I'm not screwing around like I was before, you know? I'm focusing on what's important," He looked me in my eye.
"That's great. I'm glad work is going well," I stressed the word work not liking the double entendre going on.
We sat quietly for a moment. It wasn't silent, there was the sound of birds, barking dogs, a kid yelling or crying. The wind picked up a little and I shivered. Alex's hand headed to the back of neck almost automatically. I relaxed into the warmth of his hand for a moment.
"I'm sorry," his voice was soft.
"For what?" I looked down, afraid to look him in the eye.
"For everything," he turned his body to face mine, "for using you, for trying to control you, for paying you, for wanting you, for falling in love with you."
I turned to look at him. His eyes searched mine. He looked so sincere, so thoughtful. I felt a flutter below my stomach. I took a quick breath. It felt like butterflies. The baby.
Alex rubbed a hand up my arm,