---
Tyler
Those few weeks of 'living safe' were a drag. I ran out of interesting things to cook, no matter how many recipes I googled. I didn't eat spicy food so that halved everything at least. When I was regularly bottoming in sex I just wasn't going to risk spices. Sometimes Darren could go so hard and rough I needed a few days' break anyways. Especially if he wanted me to stay tight. Jesus.
We had a lot of sex. It was one of the more entertaining things to do.
Zack made a speedy recovery and I wasn't surprised. I think he demanded some kind of new respect at the workplace, like he could just push into a queue at the canteen if he wanted. He was like a kid who everyone avoided on the playground now. I kept forgetting that him being a hardnut wasn't normal to everyone else.
Amelia was impatiently waiting for his rib to get better. After the initial horror and worry was over, it dawned on her that her man had taken on four guys, and essentially won. Her husband was a fucking stud. One lunchtime when he had that goofy grin on his face and she just raised an eyebrow at him, I knew she had finally given him the loving she thought he deserved.
We had a legitimately finished drone in the labs, and we flew it around like kids at Christmas, trying to see how hard we could crash it until it broke. We weren't pissing around - it was a real test. Maybe just a very fun one. It felt good to report up to Darren's office with the news, and invite him to see it.
People were clueing in to our relationship. I'd never felt so proud of something in my life. I wanted everyone to know I was with this man. He was mine. His hitching chuckle that made his chest bounce. His beautifully trimmed bearded jaw, his perfectly straight hair. How he looked so dapper in a suit. Nobody knew what he looked like beneath those clothes, but I did, and it was amazing.
He got out of my car every morning, and he got into it every night.
Summer was drawing to its end. There'd slowly be less mosquitoes, that September flux of craneflies buzzing everywhere instead. The year was going surprisingly fast, and yet it felt like so much had happened.
There were still some tensions beneath the surface Darren, but he seemed to get over his rough patch and relax again. I couldn't judge him for it. I didn't know how anyone managed to live with a case like that hanging over their lives. He only seemed to be truly happy whenever he forgot about it.
We didn't hear from Jackson in weeks, so life went on.
At some point I almost couldn't remember why we were 'living safe' in the first place. We first broke it when we went out to eat with Zack and Amelia. A second time when Darren was invited out, surprisingly, by Marcus. Who was also supposed to be 'living safe'.
They were hilariously awkward when they talked. It was like Marcus was trying really hard to accept that his cousin was gay, but couldn't. He kept looking between us, as if his brain was short-circuiting every few minutes. His wife, Kate, was much more laid back and friendly, and we sat trying not to laugh when Darren and Marcus kicked off into a petty argument, sounding for all they were worth, like a pair of 12 year olds.
"Have you ever gotten along with him?" I asked once we were driving home.
"Nope."
"He seems a bit of a twat."
"Youngest spoilt brat syndrome, all his life."
"Do you actually get along with anyone in your family?"
He sighed. "I used to get along great with Jamie. Before the accident."
"Sorry."
"What, I can never talk about it?" It was good to see him smile. His wakings from the nightmares about it had chilled me to the bone. "Andy was always so much older, like an adult when I was still a child. I saw him a lot, since he was running business with my father, but he was just like another authority figure. Never had problems with Adrianne, even if she was a right bitch when she was fourteen or so. I just can't do it with Marcus, however much I try. We've never gotten along."
"How come you were an only child when your aunt popped out so many?"
"Because my mother died giving birth to me."
"... Holy shit. I am so sorry." Why the fuck hadn't I known this sooner?
"Why? I never knew her."
"Jesus Christ, Darren." I had never heard his mother mentioned in conversation, ever, yet hearing that she was dead was still a shock.
"I don't have a lucky family, you know this." He grinned at me. "When am I gonna meet yours?"
"Oh, erm." I hadn't really given thought to that. "You probably don't want to."
"Why?"
"My sister still lives like a chav, my dad is a grumpy git, and my mum's not right in the head."
"And you think that's worse than mine? You think anything can be worse than my uncle?"
"You're gonna hear how many 'likes' and 'innits' my sis fits into a single sentence and want to rip your ears off."
He chuckled. "Big loop earrings?"
"Yup."
"Hair scraped back into a ponytail like a facelift?"
"Yup. She's a walking stereotype. I dare you to decipher one of her texts."
"Oh God, let me see."
I pulled out my phone and brought up one of the conversations I'd recently had with my sister, handing it over to him. I got to enjoy his laughter pretty much the rest of the drive home.
"And she's twenty-five?"
"The thing is, to be fair, I don't think I was much better two years ago, either."
"It's comedy gold, your perfect grammar against this."
"To give it to my family, I think we're pretty hilarious at Christmas dinners and shit."
*
We finally decided to go out, the two of us. It was the 1st of September. I was refilling my petrol tank when Darren suggested it, leaning out the window. Diana, that friend who owned the restaurant where we'd met, was wanting to know where the hell he'd been.
I had no objections.
My whole relationship with Darren was associated with the hot and sweaty summer of that year. I was curious how it would be once the weather got colder. I hadn't seen his winter wardrobe yet, but I'd got some glimpses of leather jackets that made me excited. Why was this man so damn suave and attractive?
He looked exactly like he'd done on our first date - loosened work clothes, black waistcoat over his shirt, hugging his body. We sat at the same window table. I was suffering so much nostalgia, and even Tracy came over to serve us.
"So," she teased. "Are you getting married?"
Darren sighed and rubbed his temple. "Tracy."
Nights out like this, with just the two of us, had been the norm for so long. Now it felt like something special and rare. Darren did his typical routine of switching his phone off and leaving it face down on the table. I had a WhatsApp group from work blinking away on mine, too, so I followed suit.
His flirting looks, his legs rubbing against mine beneath the table. I was getting all fired up again, yet at the same time felt so familiar with him, that it was this warm glow in my heart.
We were there for a couple of hours, well into dark. A part of me was content to stay longer, a part of me couldn't wait to get home. Maybe we could just do something in the backseat of my car again, in loving memory. It might sound strange, but I felt like my car was an important part of our relationship. It and Darren just went together in my head. He owned that passenger seat.
He had been watching me drive quite closely recently, and I wondered if he wanted to try behind the wheel again. Preferably not hitting over a hundred miles an hour and drifting turns. I really wanted to help him get over his car anxiety. As much as I loved how he relied on me for lifts, I knew it'd be good for him to get some of that independence back, where he could take himself the places he needed to go.
We cuddled on the sofa-seat while he finished his wine, but I bit his ear before he reached for his phone.
"Should we go?"
He chuckled, squeezed his arm around my waist, then started to get to his feet.
---
Darren
Tyler's fingers were locked with mine, swinging my arm slightly as we walked around to the carpark. He was so cheerful. I pulled my phone from my pocket with my spare hand, bright screen almost hurting my eyes in the dark as it switched on. I knew he wanted the night to be just us, but I couldn't help the compulsive urge to check it.
"Hey!" a voice barked. The screen was showing some missed calls and voicemails, but I looked up.
There were two cars parked up on the curb on the opposite side of the road. Someone was walking away from them, and towards us. Tyler had stopped, I bumped into his shoulder. He was frowning.
"Yeah," the man said. "You."
Me, or Tyler? What was going on?
Three more men were following over from the cars. I knew something was wrong, but my mind had blanked. At first I genuinely thought it was some kind of hate attack. Being approached on the street like this, while the only obvious thing I was doing wrong, was being affectionate in public with another man.
Tyler's fingers slipped away from mine. "What do you want?"
"The least you can do is stop 'n talk," the man replied. He had this thick east London accent. "You looked so nice and cosy in there. Been waiting out here for hours."
I still hadn't figured out which one of us he was trying to address. Were these people Tyler knew? Or was he trying to talk to me? My heart was thudding against my ribs and I looked down at my phone, as if I could somehow act casual and nothing would happen.
Three voicemails were from Jackson.
"Mister Sörensen?" the man asked. He said it so... mockingly. Not quite pronouncing it right.
I was starting to shake.
"Darren, is it?"
The other three were circling. I saw Tyler's hackles rising. Silent threats were starting to hang in the air and I realised what it was. The phone. Put it away. Slowly. Easy.
"Do I know you?" I managed, barely keeping my voice steady.
"I doubt it. But we knew your father. Well, that's a bit of a stretch. Our boss knew your father. We've been trying t' reach you for a while."
This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be real.
"We tried making contact before, but y' had some bear of a bodyguard who fucked that up."
It was connected? Jackson? You'd been wrong?
