Aphex was the greatest super hero of our state. Everyone loved him. And who could blame them. He was beautiful and gentle, heroic and respectful. He had everything a guy could want and women loved. He was 6'6'' tall and had to be at least 400 lbs. He was ripped beyond all definition. You could see his abs and chest strain against the sleeveless spandex he wore as he flew across the city. His back was wider than most doors, and he had to be careful entering rooms because he could easily take chunks of the door frame out. His arms were like bowling balls, huge and powerful, squirming like living creatures when he lifted a bus that would be in danger. His legs were like the columns of city hall, thick and titanic, bulging against the pants he wore, threatening to rip them to shreds every time he squatted. And I loved him. Not the kind of love that passer byes had, enjoying his feats of heroism. No, I loved every inch of his body. I loved the way his jet black hair flowed in the wind as he flew. I loved the black stubble that constantly adorned his face. I loved how his muscles rippled with power as he did nothing more than breathe. I loved his beautiful green eyes as he gazed into the video camera. And I loved how he saved my life one night.
I'm just a normal guy and, long ago it seems, I had no life. I went to work, went to the gym and went home. And I was so very lonely. Some people, myself included, couldn't understand how you could be alone surrounded by people, but I was. I never connected with people at work, I was shy and timid around the guys at the gym, and I was gay and afraid to admit it to myself. I trudged about my daily life, each day the same as the last, and I became more and more lonely, more and more depressed. Finally, after spending tons of time in the gym, making no progress, and reflecting on what there was for me in life, I decided to end it.
I made my way to the roof of my building, 20 stories above the city streets. Sighing my last breath, I stepped off the roof and closed my eyes. My story should have ended there as I plummeted to my death, but fate intervened. Aphex flew by and caught me about 5 feet before I would have hit the ground. I didn't know what had happened and opened my eyes to see the most beautiful man I've ever seen. He had me cradled in his giant arms looking gently at me with his sparkling green eyes and said to me, "Why did you do that? Don't you know you have a lot to live for?"
I couldn't look him in the eyes after that. I just started crying. Me, a grown man, 25 years old, was in the arms of this walking, or should I say flying, dream crying like a baby. He stopped flying along and began to hover. "What's wrong?" he asked me.
I didn't know if I could tell him the truth, but as he hugged me tighter, pressing my head against the pillow of his hard chest, I felt more safe and loved than I ever did in my life. I told him of my problems, my thoughts and most importantly, my deepest fears. He listened and hugged me closer and I felt as if nothing else mattered. He whispered in my ear "Sometimes everyone feels like that. Even I do sometimes. But the biggest thing is that you can't give up. You have to be strong because there's someone out there for you, someone that would miss out on you if you ended your life here."
"But I'm not strong!" I cried. "I'm weak and pathetic, a fat slob with no one in my life to share it with. All the things that I do each day for what I want seem to do no good. What's the whole point?"
He loosened his hug and again I felt weak and unprotected. But he drew me up towards his eyes, holding my 270 bulk as if I were a feather. "You really are sad, aren't you? Why is that? Why don't you have anyone in your life, why do you do things that don't bring you joy? What is the real reason behind it all?"
I gazed into his eyes, then down his square jaw, over his humongous traps, his giant arms, his beautiful chest and his amazing legs. A couple of tears fell from my eyes and I shut them out, trying to keep the pain away. He drew me in closer and whispered, "Ahh, I see."
He rubbed my crotch which was by this time throbbing with such fury, it would've hurt if I hadn't been spilling my emotions everywhere. "And who have you told about you sexual preference?"
I didn't respond.
"Ahh, are you really that scared of what people might think?"
Again, I couldn't respond.
We began to gently float downward to a nearby building. "You know, there's tons of people that are like you out there. A lot of guys that you might not even recognize feel just like you. You're not alone."
He set me down on a roof, floating gently above my head like a muscled angel. He flexed his arm for me and said, "Some are a lot closer than you think." Taking my hand in his massive paw, he guided it down his ripped chest and let it settle on his meat. I never noticed, but it was swelling against the pants he had on, pulsing like an angry snake, stretching down to his knees and there I realized that there were people out there like me, and here was one of them.
Sirens began to blare in the distance and I turned to see smoke on the horizon. "I haffa go now. Promise me you won't kill yourself."
I looked up into his blazing eyes, and feeling the throbbing of his crotch, I muttered, "I won't."
He smiled at me and started to float back a bit, "That's a good man. Well, I'm off to save the day again." He chuckled and few off like a rocket.
I stood on that roof for hours watching the blaze in the distance. Even though I felt cold and alone, I had made a promise to him. Plus, I came to the realization that I've never felt so protected or warm as when I was gently floating with him, wrapped him his strong masculine embrace. It was then and there that I decided I wanted to have him or a guy like him. And I would have to live and adjust if I were going to be able to get one.
After that day, I quit my job, moved out of my apartment and moved downtown. I knew of a hardcore gym that I was always too ashamed to go in, but I had decided that I wanted to be huge like Aphex and I wanted a huge guy like him to be my partner. I had over 15k saved up for a car and I decided to use it to move into an apartment closer to that gym and spend time working out.
I went to the gym the very next day, went in the office with a huge guy, smaller than Aphex but massive in his own right, and I signed up for a year's membership with personal training by him. Then after that, I stepped into the main area. This place had no women and nothing but muscled behemoths. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart and yelled, "Hello all you huge guys! I'd just like to say that I'm gay!"
I couldn't believe I had just done that. I immediately turned beet red and was about to run to the locker room when I heard a bunch of clapping and laughing. The owner and my trainer walked up to me and said, "You've must have been closeted for a hella long time."
I nodded and the trainer put his arm on my shoulder. I thought the weight of it would make me fall it was so big and dense. He said, "We get a few guys here like you. Don and Leo used to be just like you. Hope you find what you're looking for here." The acceptance I found there was the exact opposite of what I thought I would get and that was the first step in a huge change for me.
I worked out constantly for months, backed by the owner. I radically changed everything about me. I started eating different, I went out more often and I made a ton of friends in the gym. Eventually, I started seeing changes. I was no longer a flabby guy, but instead I had bulked up considerably around the chest and lost a lot of gut. My arms had grown a few inches to a respectable 18 and my legs, which were big from carrying around my weight all my life, were more defined than ever. I even started getting little guys at the gay bar interested. But in the back of my mind, I always wanted that feeling of safety and warmth that I had when I was with Aphex. I finally got my chance one night.