Heal Me

*Here I am again. Sorry for the long break! It's short one again, sorry for that. Hopefully I am able to continue this story in timely manner. All comments and feedback is waited and greatly appreciated. Enjoy!*

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David

Where did that come from? I am sure I looked just as surprised as Joey from hearing my suggestion. I had watched Joey walk away from me for a couple of steps and already I was feeling a pull from my heart to stop him. I found myself jogging up to him and surprising the heck out of him with my proposition. I really must be out of my mind. Why couldn't I just let it go? I just had a feeling I shouldn't let him go without a fight. I was saying these things before I could even process them and I was chastising myself for being so desperate in my pursuit.

"Umm.. Your offer is generous but I wouldn't want to interrupt your hike. I am sure you didn't intend to leave today" Joey said with a smile and continued "I am sure I will manage. Believe it or not, this isn't my first hike." He laughed.

I couldn't look at Joeys smiling face without matching mine with one as well. He seemed to be so sweet and caring. And that was exactly why I wanted to get to know him better. He couldn't possibly be this angel-like character I was painting him to be in my mind. If I talked to him a little while longer I would realize this unexplainable reaction my body and soul seemed to have for him was incorrect. I would realize that he isn't what I think he is, because really, I didn't know shit about him and still my mind thought he was something to be protected and treasured. Blast my mind!

"It is true I was planning on staying the night, but it's no trouble at all, I can always come back another time." Joey looked unconvinced so I had to continue. "I am sure you can manage the hike, but sometimes there is an easier and more comfortable way out. I might be worrying over nothing, but I feel uneasy letting you leave on your own. This hike is safe enough, but there has been a case or two when someone has gone astray... And I am sure Lila would appreciate the shorter way." I finished and looked at the husky who was resting on the ground next to Joey.

"Truth be told, so would I" Joey said with a sigh after a while and continued. "As I said, I had planned this to be a short stroll in the woods for both of us. It has been quite physically demanding week at work and it's wearing me out. The thought of walking in the dark doesn't really sound that pleasant at the moment. So yes, I gratefully take you up on your offer."

I tried to remain my cool... or what was left of it. I was happy but at the same time terrified of the feelings Joey awakened in me. I have thought for so long that there would be no man on this earth who would make me feel like this again, so on some level I was feeling quite relieved. Then there was the fear of getting hurt and rejected. I did not want to go through a bad break up again.

I caught myself on that thought. What was I thinking? I was like some teenage girl who had herself and the boy who glanced her way married with children in no time. I was thinking about a relationship and the eventual break up when I had barely changed a few sentences with him. What has happened to my "always so rational and calm"- exterior? We are two adults who will share an hour or two together, that's it. Nothing will come of it because I can control myself and stop saying things that get me in these kind of situations.

"Great! It will take a little less than two hours to get to my car". I told him with a smile. I decided I could do the "friendly dude" act. I am sure my staring and obsessive helpfulness had already freaked him out, but it wouldn't matter anyway, for I was sure today was all there would be for our "friendship". I know I couldn't be just friends with him. Nevertheless, even as I was telling myself this I had a nagging feeling that I wanted to see him again. There was something special about Joey and I just knew my life would be better with him in it. Even as a friend. I was protective towards him even if I knew he didn't need to be protected. He seemed to stand on his own two feet, which I appreciated. I couldn't bear the thought of losing him when I just had found him. I had to surrender and confess that my heart had won this round no matter how hard I tried to tell myself otherwise.

Joey

"We should get going then, don't you think?" I answered and looked at the sky witch was still bright and somewhat sunny. I knew it wouldn't be for long though. In the months I had lived here I still hadn't quite grasped the timing and cycle of sunlight. It might be because in Waterbay you could actually see the seasons change and with it the time of sunset was always changing. We were now at the point of late fall and winter looming just around the corner. I enjoyed the changes I could see in the nature, but it was hard to remember to plan these things when all my life I had practically had two seasons: summer and a milder summer. Still I recognized the beginnings of sunset and the air wasn't as warm as it was half an hour ago.

I looked at David's smiling face and I felt that there was some non-verbal conversation going on with us but I had no idea what the conversation was about. It's a strange feeling let me tell you. I felt that every other minute I was getting these warm vibes from David and the next moment he was cold and indifferent. I didn't know what to think. David's voice shook me out of my pondering:

"Yes, lets go. Let me pack the rest of these things and we can go." David said and put the last few items to his backpack. David straightened up and called for his dog. Koda came to David's side and Lila stood up to greet him. David smiled at his dog affectionally and gave him a treat. "Good boy, that's my good boy" David said and rubbed behind his ears. Koda was practically purring at his master's touch. And I was right there with him. I wanted to have him look at me in that way and touching me. Whoa, what was I thinking? I knew that a man caring for his children had been a huge turn on for me, but I hadn't realized that animals counted as well. It must be that the caring for another being made him somehow softer and more gentle. For I was turned on, really turned on.

"Can I give Lila a treat as well? It's chicken." David asked and looked at me.

"Umm.. yeah, of course." I managed to say and hoped I wasn't too flushed. David didn't seem to notice anything. He turned to Lila and gave her a treat. Lila was licking the hand where the treat was and then went to sit on the other side of David just as Koda had done. I was seriously building a huge crush on this guy.

"I think you have made a friend for life" I laughed but then realized that David could think that I meant myself instead of Lila.

David's face turned serious. He looked straight at me and said with somber eyes: "I wouldn't worry about it. A trust quickly earned is a trust soon forgotten... or betrayed."

I was a bit taken a back by that statement. It could have been a bit scary or weird in other circumstances, but the way he said it and his tone and pose were not threatening at all. It was coming from sadness and even despair. I felt that there was a story behind that statement and it wasn't with a happy ending. I didn't know what to say, and all I wanted was to make that pain go away. David took the need of my reaction away from me. He took his backpack and started to the trail in the forest.

"Anyway, we really should go. This way, after me." David said already a couple steps ahead of me. I started to follow him and I frantically tried to think something neutral to say. It seemed that in this short period of time we had known each other, we already had had very strong moments. Strong in emotion or strong in connection. I was quite certain he was gay by now, but I could never be sure if I didn't ask. Well that's a thought! I suppressed a small laugh: I needed something neutral to talk about and all I could think of was "Are you gay?" That must be the least neutral thing in the world I could come up with.

David stopped and turned ahead of me. "Did you ask me if I am gay?" David's voice again shook me out of my woolgathering.

"What? Did I say it out loud!?" I was mortified. I tend to mumble sometimes to myself. Even the students at work have noticed it couple of times and made a mark about it. I couldn't believe I had asked him if he was gay. I raised my eyes to his to find a small amused smile on his face. It couldn't be that bad then when I wasn't hurting anywhere and he wasn't storming off. "Ehh.. I guess I did, I am sorry if I offended you" I added and smiled a bit unnerved.

"Hmm? No.. no offence taken. So shall we continue?" David said with that amused smile again... or was it curious? I couldn't tell. David turned and continued on the trail.

I found myself admiring his ass before rushing after him. No offence taken? What did that mean? Was he gay or was he just being cool about my slip? Ahh, how frustrating! Now where do I go from here? I looked at David who was walking next to me. He was looking at me and with a smile and turned his head away when I caught his eye. We walked for a while in silence. I figured the ball was in his court so I gave him the opportunity to say something first. After couple of minutes it was clear he wasn't going to say a thing.