My name is Chance. This story is fictional.
I was headed into my house after work on this Thursday. I happened to spot the neighbor lady outside, talking on her cell phone. We'd lived next to each other for a few years, seen each other come and go, and exchanged "hellos" once in a while.
Today, I noted that she was gesturing madly. Then she would listen, and roll her eyes. Then I watched her mouth move, and she ended the call. As she turned to enter the house, she spotted me and made the universal "come here" gesture. I returned a thumbs up and made a "give me a minute" raised finger. I saw her nod.
I ditched my stuff in the house and went back out, locking up because I figured I might not be back that quickly. I wandered less than fifty feet, and the neighbor was sitting on the small deck at the front of her house. I took the stairs and sat down near her, a couple feet away.
She was dark-haired, having fine, wavy hair that hung to her shoulders. It was pulled into a ponytail, but she yanked the tie loose and shook her hair out as I sat myself down.
"Hey," she said to me "do you know anything about wireless internet?"
"A bit," I noted. "Why?"
"I just had my internet provider here. They put in new equipment, hooked everything up to my router, and told me it was good to go. My laptop and phone are not finding any wi-fi networks. I called and complained, talked to a person, and they have a problem sending someone over here to get things working."
She was clearly disgusted, frowning mightily. I studied her further. Maybe five nine, with brown eyes and a round figure, with a slight belly bulge, ample hips, and a big rounded ass in very nice-fitting jeans. She had a plain but pretty face in a simple kind of way.
As I got ready to tell her I'd take a look, I heard a mighty rumble against the bench built into the deck. "Now I'll have to take a dump. Too bad I don't have a slave. Give him a nice brown load. Early Christmas gift," she noted. "Sorry if that freaked you out."
"No big deal," I said. "Let's go see what I can figure out. We stood and entered the house. Me behind her and eyeing her butt big-time. She was carrying enough that she waddled a bit, and it shifted left and right as she walked. My penis thickened.
We stepped into the living room. Over next to the table in the kitchen sat a desk with a laptop and an iPad on it, and a small all-in-one printer. The lady of the house moved a kitchen chair to the desk and sat. As I stepped closer, I stumbled, courtesy of my disabled physical self. She reached out and steadied me, then guided me into the chair...tucked between her legs.
My fingers found the laptop track pad. I checked for any named wireless networks. There were a few, all secured. "None of these are yours?" I asked. The lady confirmed. She was maybe forty.
I looked at the router, and modem, both hanging on the kitchen wall. I looked at the indicator lights; the modem seemed fine. There was a cable between it and the router. Good. I checked the router brand and then l launched the internet browser and typed an IP address, then a user and password to access the router device.
There was no blinking indicator on the router for wi-fi output. The wireless settings did not show a network name or password or security protocol. I pointed these things out. I set the network name, and let the lady enter a password. I set the proper encryption, then saved settings and exited. I used the OS on the laptop to find the network and connect, making it the default.
I verified the connection. My lady friend loosed another rumble. "Wonderful noise," I remarked. She laughed. I asked her to take the laptop and she moved to the living room. We sat again. And again I ended up tucked in her lap. While we were sitting there, I explained the basic way to troubleshoot common problems in the future. She took notes.
She unleashed noisy gas four more times. "That's six in less than 30 minutes. The noise is really great," I commented again. We seemed to have the computer and printer under control. We talked about our livings. I wrote for a state paper that also encouraged an online blog. My topic was cars.
She introduced herself as Nina. I told her my name was Chance. I was thirty-five She had been a patent lawyer for ten years and made nice money. Never married, because she said she wanted only to have to look after herself, and only worry about herself. She was not being negative; she only liked things to be straightforward, and figured being by herself was the best way to keep it that way, or by meeting a like-minded significant other. These last few years, she'd had a hair studio.
"Speaking of which, yours looks freshly cut," she declared.
"Yesterday," I confirmed."Been going to the same lady the last five or six times."
"You let them wash it for you?" Nina asked me.
I told her I found it awkward. "My stylist likes to give me a hard time. I usually come home and rinse in the shower," I said.
More gas from Nina. Her hands roamed my short buzz cut. "But it feels great," she noted. "I love doing the wash." She leaned into my ear. "Let's try it, okay? Right under the kitchen sink." Her lips sucked gently on my neck. One of her hands slid down my leg and groped my penis, very gently. "Big soft women?" she asked.
"Yes. Butts. Boobs," I said.
"What about the gas?" she asked.
"Noisy is nice."
"But you've never met or approached a plumper lady. Never been with one?" Nina continued.
"I figured it might be kinda hard. Women don't gravitate toward me," I noted.
"It's not hard," Nina said. She kissed my cheek. Then she was leaning me back into her. One arm at my waist, the hand playing with my dick. The other hand cradled my face against one large tit. We sat for about 30 minutes.
"We need dinner," I noted.
Nina agreed. We ended up ordering Jimmie John's. When we were done, we sat and let things settle.
"Ready for the wash?" Nina asked.
"I suppose," I agreed.
Nina got up and rounded a corner into what I figured had to be a hall with bedrooms and bath. She returned carrying a high, short bench which she placed at 90 degrees to the front of the kitchen sink. I stood and walked over slowly. I sat down at one side of the bench and Nina helped me get one leg over. I moved up and dipped my head into the sink. Nina stood on my left, leaning to adjust the taps. A bottle of shampoo opened.
I heard Nina unleash a loud, raspberry buzz as she lathered her hands and applied them to my head. She worked the shampoo into a lather in my short hair, then rubbed my head with her fingers. She switched to gently using her fingernails. She swung the faucet over and rinsed her hands.
I felt her fingers on my head and relaxed. She moved around behind me and mounted the bench. She slid up close behind me, then reached out to continue working on my hair for another minute or so. I felt her ample torso pressing on me. My dick stood up again.
Nina finished and spent another 30 seconds rinsing my head. Another healthy rumble against the wood of the bench. Nina took a towel and began drying my hair. As I leaned away from the sink, I noted a faint hint of rotten-egg odor.
"I have another dandy coming up, I think," she noted.
I was thinking about her ass, as I had been since we walked into the house. Then I pictured her face and cute hairstyle. I swallowed, then said, "Hey Nina? When you let that next one go, will you put your butt in my lap?"
