My girlfriend Sarah likes to drink two or three Diet Cokes at lunchtime. Then she leaves it up to me to pick out a public place where she can void her bladder. Being bad like that excites her. It makes her want to fuck me. In my book that's a win-win.
It's weird how it's worked out between us. Before we met I could never have envisioned myself becoming a piss-loving slave to a kinkster like Sarah. But now I've grown to love everything about watersports. The build-up of anticipation as she drinks a ton of fluids. The antsy feeling we get while driving to one of Sarah's "events." The adrenaline rush that comes from knowing that if we're caught we'll both end up in the hoosegow for "exhibiting prurient behavior."
But all this pales in comparison to the super-charged eroticism we experience when the heavens open up and Sarah lets flow a torrent of pale-yellow pee that floods the streets and violates community standards.
Being in love with a dirty girl is nice work if you can get it, but it isn't easy. Recently we chipped in for a video camera and a monitor because Sarah wanted to up the excitement level. Since then I've shot several surreptitious videos that she then had me post online. Not surprisingly, they were a hit.
I still remember - and get hard thinking about - the first video I shot. It shows Sarah squatting and pissing on the sidewalk right outside Macy's in broad daylight while dozens of mall-cruising consumers pass by. We had already prepared ourselves for the possibility that some bluenose would take offense and call security. So Sarah hurriedly - but oh-so-sexily - pulled the crotch of her cut-off jeans aside and peed for what seemed like forever.
Though I was scared shitless about getting busted, witnessing this wanton act was thrilling to the max. And Sarah got what she wanted - a throng of disbelieving shoppers who stopped to gawk as if they were mesmerized by a shoe sale.
The whole episode, start to finish, made us so hot that after we hightailed it out of there Sarah made me stop for burgers - even though she wasn't hungry. While I mangled a Double Whopper with cheese, she bit into two packets of industrial-strength mayonnaise and slathered my cock and balls with the greasy stuff. Then she gave me a double-fisted hand job right there in the middle of the busy lot while a grandma-type looked on in horror from the minivan parked next to us.
When I came I made a hell of a mess, but Sarah eagerly vacuumed all the cum and mayo into her mouth, swirled the vulgar cocktail around, then invited
my
mouth to a spit-swapping party. I have to say, the combination wasn't as foul-tasting as I'd expected.
When we got home Sarah had another brainstorm. Why not make a video of her pissing on the deck of our second-floor apartment while the one I'd just shot at Macy's played alongside on the monitor? After all, Sarah reasoned, the people who admired our work expected cutting-edge innovation, so why not give them a double-dose of pussy-pissing Sarah? As a titillating bonus - for us, at least - Sarah would be bottomless, spread-eagled, and clearly visible from the street.
You'd better believe that my answer to that was, "Fuck yes!" And though I don't normally like to pat myself on the back, the resulting video was one of our better efforts. In fact, it got "gushing" reviews from the pissaholic posse that clicked onto our website.
A few days later it was my turn to brainstorm. I got the idea when Sarah, who was laid out naked on our futon, threw her legs up over her head so that I could watch her insert a tampon. With her ass pointed at the ceiling, a deviant fancy crept into my head.
"You have the prettiest asshole," I said, letting my eyes devour the squinting, fully exposed aperture she was presenting.
"You should know," Sarah said, spreading her sexy cheeks to give me a better look. "You've licked it, fingered it, fucked it..."
"Yes," I interrupted. "But I haven't
pissed
on it, have I?"
Sarah threw her legs down and sat up. She didn't look pleased. "Did I ever tell you that you have the filthiest mind of any guy I've been with? What's gotten into you?"
"Can't help myself," I said, giving her a sheepish grin. "I've caught the pissing bug, thanks to you."
"Uh-oh," she said. "Baby got the urination jones. Doctors say there's no cure. You're fucked."
"So how put off by the idea are you?"
Sarah looked at me and frowned, but her eyes danced with dirty-girl mischief. "I think it's a sick, twisted, perverted suggestion," she said. Then she teased my ear with her tongue. "Let's fucking do it!"
Boffo! Now the only question was, where could we get maximum exposure with minimal risk?"
Well, wouldn't you know we'd end up back at the mall?
We parked between a community bank and the entrance to Sears under a magnificent, white-barked eucalyptus tree. As we sat back surveying the scene we killed off our second Coors Light tallboy.
"I almost forgot how beer goes right through me," Sarah said, squeezing her thighs together.
"I love a woman who can't hold her liquor," I said.
We'd deliberately chosen a Saturday for the exposure, but I wasn't quite prepared for the hive of activity that surrounded us. Bargain hunters were everywhere, busily strolling in and out of the parking lot, and I thought to myself: Dude. Hell of a plan you've come up with. Videotaping you and your girl getting your fetish on in full view of the Sarasota Mall.
But as usual the danger of being caught excited Sarah, and she started kneading my cock through my shorts.
"Not yet, not yet," I said, pushing her hand away as I nervously scoped out the environment. On top of all the humanity lurking about, I knew that the mall was patrolled by a feeble force of yellow-jacketed rent-a-cops. But Sarah's arousal was infecting me as well.
I groaned under her persistent touch. "Don't you know that a guy with a hard-on can't piss worth a damn? Besides, you'll know when I'm ready to come, because we'll be out in the parking lot, and you'll be catching my ejac on your pretty face. That's after I've peed all over your lovely backside, of course."
"Oh really?" she said. Vocalizing my nasty intentions had spurred her to dip a hand underneath her short skirt and begin to play with her panty less crotch. "So
you
get to piss on me, and then
you