PUSHY POWER
I waited for my eyes to adjust to the room after the bright outdoor sunlight. A blonde woman at the bar waved at me, then came hustling over and leaned toward my ear so she could be heard over the performance on the stage. "Sit anywhere you want. I'll bring your water and ginger ale in a minute."
I nodded and pointed to a table in the dimly lit corner about ten feet from the stage. She nodded understanding and I wandered over to sit down. It was late afternoon and I had finished my work week and realized I was hungry. This was my go-to spot for wind-down time when I didn't feel like being at home. Although in a matter of minutes I would experience something completely unexpected.
When my beverages showed up I asked the blonde woman if I could have a Buffalo chicken wrap and some french fries. She grinned. "I'll go put the order in right now." She took off across the room at a brisk pace. Minutes later she was back, telling me the order was in. She slid into the booth next to me, easing over into my personal space.
Up on stage, a blue-eyed blonde with decidedly heavy breasts and a big butt stood near a group of microphones. In a matter of seconds I heard a mighty buzz, amplified by the mics. There was polite clapping around the room. I watched the woman take another deep breath and lean over slightly. There was another noisy buzz, this one much longer than the first. In fact, I counted off ten seconds mentally. When this one was over, there was more aggressive clapping and a number of whistles. Next to me my blonde waitress clapped and launched a loud whistle.
I leaned over. "Did that hot blonde just pass gas? Twice?" I asked.
"Yeah," the waitress said. "Sounded pretty good, didn't it?"
"Kinda," I noted. "Even without the mics, I'm surprised it got that loud."
"Don't ever forget, big girls are great," the woman said. I had been here before. The woman's name was Natalie, and people who knew her even a little called her Nat. I heard a cell phone buzz and Nat said, "That's your order. Be right back." And in ninety seconds, she was putting the hot plate on the table.
Next up on the stage was a pink-haired woman with brown eyes, mile-long legs, tats, and a massive ponytail that hung a foot off the floor. She was well over six feet tall. I dug into my food. As I swallowed, I said to Nat, "Holy shit. How tall is that girl?"
Nat laughed. "That's Nia. She's like six-nine in her bare feet."
"Wow. Fuck," I said. Nat laughed again. Nia proceeded to take to the pole on the stage as the intro to AC/DC's "
Thunderstruck"
came over the main sound system. For five entire minutes, I was the one thunderstruck. I watched Nia slide, spin, gyrate and drape her incredible legs all over the pole. Only my hunger made me take my eyes away for mere seconds as I took bites and ate.
Nat lifted a cheek off the booth and dug in a front pocket for keys. "Making it uncomfortable to sit," she noted. As they hit the table, I looked at the attached trinkets. Two short keychains, one of which had an outline of a big girl and the letters "BGG" on it, and the other that had an artist's rendering of a toilet on it, and the letters "TPC".
I watched Nia saunter off the stage and the next performer was announced. A short, chunky, fireplug-figure brunette with a bob haircut and blue eyes, with cantoulope-size breasts. Now I took a moment to gawk at Nat, which I had been doing since the first time I came here and learned her name. Eventually I leaned over and asked about the two keychains.
Nat said, "BGG is the Big Girl Gasser club. Not cars. Passing gas. The second is the Thick Poopers Club. I've been a member of both for three years. I've used the mics here a few times. I want to find someone I can work with as far as passing gas, and I think it'd be really sexual and erotic if I could sit and poop for a partner," she finished.
I was finishing my food. Nat was periodically stealing french fries. "I'm sorry, did you want me to get my own?" she asked me.
"Depends if you're hungry or not," I answered.
"Watching you eat is making me hungry," she decided. "I'll be back." In three minutes, she was. With a plate sporting two Buffalo chicken wraps and a small pile of fries.
"Of course you have to show me up," I told her.
"You're a funny guy, Alden," she replied. She ate in silence for several minutes while she watched the chunky brunette work the pole. Then she said, "So I saw you earlier. Staring at me. And it's not the first time I noticed. So I need you to tell me, what the hell is up, man?"
I sat in silence for more than a minute. Nat said, "Hey, talk to me. I'm pretty sure you don't have a problem, otherwise I would probably know. You seem like the type that would just be blunt about stuff like that."
I finally broke. As the next performance and loud cover music began I leaned over and told Nat, "I like big girls. Like, thick. Chunky thighs and huge butts. But you might be a little too much for me to handle. I really like your shape and particularly your rump. But you're wide enough that if you went to work you might squash me," I noted. "Also, people might have opinions, and run their mouth."
Nat's answer came. "If you like me, then it's my job to make sure you can handle whatever work we do. As for people and running mouths, if anyone does, they will do that shit exactly once before they are permanently out of here. I own this place. Recruited all the talent and the food power. Honestly, I really don't think anybody here would, at least within the regular crowd. We might get an outsider who gets drunk, and then I have no problem handling that."
She ate in silence for a bit, and we both watched the stage performance as I worked on my ginger ale. Eventually she said to me, "Alden, are you scared of my size?"
This time, I was blunt. "You are super wide. And your ass is huge," I said. She cuffed me in the shoulder, then she was laughing until her face reddened.
