Please I Need To Cum

Growing up thin and small in stature had its drawbacks but once I was an adult, there were a few perks to being built this way. In my 20s, after my time in the military, I happened upon a tattered magazine on the sidewalk that was titled Man4Man. On the cover were pictures of thin guys with smaller cocks and somewhat hairless bodies. Some had big bushes, others were shaved and everything in-between. These thin bodies and cocks looked very similar to mine. Looking through the pages, there was a pictorial sequence of a guy that was able to position himself so that his cock was in his mouth. It showed the sequence of him lying on his back, bringing his legs up and planting his feet against a wall. It showed him getting his cock into his mouth and cumming in his mouth. I had never seeing anything like this and was intrigued that this was even possible. In masturbating, if I waited a bit after orgasm, I could eat my cum. The idea I could possibly suck myself off and cum directly into my mouth seemed pretty awesome!

Getting home that evening, I carefully looked at the pictures over and over again. I got on my bed and tried to position myself like the pictures in the magazine. I brought my legs up and over but my cock was nowhere near my mouth. I planted my feet against the wall and it seemed to bring it closer. I tried for probably an hour and still wasn't close to making it happen. Frustrated, I decided to take a break and watch TV. Still clear in my mind were the pictures of a guy sucking his own cock. I couldn't let it go so I went back into the bedroom to try again. This time instead of putting my feet against the wall, I put them against the rail of the headboard. With a pillow under my head, my cock was now positioned in front of my mouth. Although several inches away from my lips, I now saw that maybe this really was possible.

After several attempts to position my head and legs, I got my cock to about an inch of my mouth. This was pretty exciting. My cock was rock hard as I stroked it and tried to pull it into my mouth. It just wouldn't get closer. I was really hot and horny trying to do this so I just jacked off while my cock was close to my face. I got hotter and hotter as my orgasm got closer. My orgasm reached a point where I knew I was going to cum, there was no stopping it. All of a sudden, I didn't want my cock in front of my face so I brought my legs down and shot my cum all over my belly. It felt really good and I knew I wanted to try again.

The next day, I got home from work and while in the bathroom, I saw that the toilet bowl and rim seemed like a good place to try again. Getting on my back with my head near the base of the toilet, I brought my legs up and over letting my feet find the rim of the toilet. After some adjustment, I found I was here again with my cock in front of my face. My cock was rock hard as I stroked it on and off trying the different positions. Still, I couldn't get it closer to my mouth. But being so excited, cumming was more important so I stroked myself with my cock pointing to my mouth. My mouth open eagerly awaiting my cum. I was so hot and bothered looking directly at my own cock only inches from my mouth. As I stroked, I got closer and closer to cumming. My cock was growing even harder as the tingling that I knew was my orgasm getting closer. I continued to stroke, driving my cock to have a great orgasm. I started to cum and it shot into my mouth. Suddenly, I was disgusted by the cum in my mouth and I turned my head sideways, licking my tongue on the rug to remove the cum from it. It wasn't the taste, feel, or smell because I had eaten my cum many times already. It was my brain that didn't want my cock in front of, or cumming near, my face. I pulled my feet away from the toilet and now lying on the floor, I looked over at the cum that I removed from my mouth.

Once I had finished cumming, I lay there for a minute or so, then started to think about why my brain and body reacted the way it did. In the heat of wanting to cum, my brain suddenly decided it didn't want to cum in my mouth. What was happening? I wasn't sure why it was happening. Through the rest of the evening I really thought on what might be happening. Was I afraid of cum? No, I had eaten my cum before. Was I afraid of cum on my breath? No, I loved the leftover taste of cum in my mouth. I hadn't sucked another cock up to this point so I thought maybe I was feeling guilty I might be gay? Not sure. Would cumming in my mouth mean I was gay? Not sure. Lots of thoughts spinning in my brain.

Over the next few weeks, I continued to try, but every time I was close to cumming, I pulled away and just came on my stomach. I started to edge myself almost to cumming and that seemed ok. I could actually get to the point of some pre-cum dripping out but could not cum in my mouth. I practiced edging over and over again. I made sure I didn't finish because I thought the more I edged the more I would want to cum and the harder it would be to back away.

Since I was now into this a month or more, I got pretty good at getting the right angle down so my cock was right in my face. One day after swimming, I was in the bathroom and decided to try again. Bringing my legs up and over, I quickly positioned myself and my cock was in my face immediately. When I pushed my feet against the toilet bowl, I felt more flexible than usual and all of a sudden my cock was touching my lips!! I couldn't believe it. I was more excited than ever that this dream might come true! I rocked and leveraged my legs over and over again as I continued to edge getting more excited with each try. My cock was now touching my lips every time. I could flick my tongue out and lick the head of my cock. Amazing!

Now that I could lick my cock, I found that if I rolled a towel up and put it under my neck that it helped shorten the distance to my mouth. This was the breakthrough I needed. My cock now was into my mouth where my teeth could grab it. I was very eager to see if I could get more in my mouth. After several more tries, I could get about an inch in as long as I clamped on my cock with my teeth. I did this over and over, getting hotter and hotter. I slowly edged myself closer and closer to cumming. I thought in my head that this would be the time.

"Please, I need to cum!" I begged myself, desperate for release. I stroked my cock over the edge. I was going to cum! Right at the point of cumming, immediately my brain shut down the excitement and I didn't want my cock in my mouth anymore. I moved my legs off the toilet and lying there, finished jacking until I came.

With another failed attempt, I wasn't sure what to do next. But that didn't keep me from trying almost every day! I loved cumming no matter what. No matter where I was, I would try to get into the position and see if I could cum in my mouth. I even tried in the bathroom at work and at a gas station!!! Over and over again, my brain wouldn't let it happen.

One particular day after swimming, I went to the bathroom and got into position. I knew that swimming allowed me to be more flexible than normal. Now in the position and part of my cock in my mouth, I stroked the shaft while my teeth clamped on to hold my cock firmly. I edged myself over and over hoping I would cum in my mouth. I don't know what came over me, but this time I found that I could get about 2 inches of my cock in my mouth. This added to the excitement as I could now move my cock in and out a little. Not really a blowjob, but just being able to hold my cock that far into my mouth was awesome!

I edged over and over but everytime I got close, I could feel my brain shutting it down again. I kept at it for at least half and hour. I was getting tired of being in the position and even my brain was getting tired of almost cumming, then stopping, then almost cumming, then stopping. I did this over and over again. Nothing changed. I am not sure what happened but I remember edging and almost cumming. As usual, my brain shut it down but I was too tired to react. I gave my cock a few more strokes and it was over the edge. I plunged my cock into my mouth. My brain said "Nooo" and my body said "Yessss". My legs pushed hard against the toilet bowl and my cock went deeper into my mouth. My orgasm hit and for sure my brain did not want my cock in my mouth, not even for a second. I wanted to pull it out of my mouth, but I was worn down feeling like there was nothing I could do but leave it in. My body needed this release and forced my brain to accept it.

I started cumming in my mouth! I felt spurt after spurt of cum flow into my mouth. I quickly swallowed my gooey seed. My brain was stuck, it commanded my body to pull my cock out of my mouth but was powerless to what my body wanted. In many ways it was not an orgasm of pleasure, it was an orgasm forced by the needs of my body.

In an instant it was over, I had cum in my mouth and my cum was now in my belly! My cock was getting softer as I worked to suck all the sperm out of it. My brain had given up and was resigned that I had cum. Not much else to do but suck and clean my cock off. I released my cock from my mouth and pulled it away from my face. I looked at it differently now. It had actually overriden my brain and orgasmed when my brain didn't want to. That was a weird feeling.

Now that I knew it was possible, I started to practice what I did over and over again, but my brain was pretty strong about not cumming in my mouth. With greater resolve, I decided that every day for a week, I would cum in my mouth, forcing my brain to accept the act.

The weekend came and went and it was the next week. Every day after work, I would come home, take a quick dip in the pool and then head to the bathroom. I rolled up a towel and placed it under my neck. Getting into position was fast and easy. My cock now touching my lips. I relished in the idea of licking my own cock! After a positioning back and forth a few times, my cock was now a good inch into my mouth. I still liked the idea of biting down on it to hold it in place. A little bit of pain and pleasure mixed together. Today was about business, not emotions. The first order of business was I needed to cum in my mouth no matter what my brain said.

Having my cock in my mouth was so much of a turn on that it didn't take much to be hard and wanting to cum. I stroked myself alternating between stroking and dipping my cock in between my lips for my teeth to hold onto it. I could tell from the tingling in my body that my orgasm was getting closer. I continued to play with it in and out of my mouth, each cycle getting closer to orgasm. It was finally time to bring my cock to cum. My orgasm built and right as it started to hit, my brain wanted my cock away from my mouth.

Today was about business so I just bypassed my brain and went with what my body wanted. I pushed my cock into my mouth, my lips and teeth holding the shaft and in an instant I was cumming. My cock jerked between my teeth as my cum sought release. I eased up on the grasp from my lips and teeth and thick cum spewed into my mouth. I swallowed it as fast as my cock could deliver it. Yummmm.

My brain was once again conflicted, all it could do was accept it. Whatever my brain wanted didn't matter. My cock had cum in my mouth, again. With my cock spent, I waited until it was soft in my mouth before letting it be free. I once again released it right in front of my face and just looked at it with admiration. I had done it again! Cum in my mouth! I knew this approach was how I was going to teach myself that cumming in my mouth was a natural thing to do.

Every day that week right after work, I followed the same routine, finishing by cumming in my mouth. My brain still did not accept this reality but now I knew how to ignore it and let my cock cum in my mouth. The more I did it, the easier it was to bypass what my brain wanted. I also rationalized that if I were sucking another guys cock, they would cum in my mouth and my brain wouldn't care then. So why did it matter if it was my cock or another cock?

Now with some repetition down, I was comfortable forcing my brain the just let me cum in my mouth. Since I needed to stroke the shaft and move it in and out of my mouth, when I pulled it out I could stare and appreciate it right in front of me. I loved looking at it knowing it was just in my mouth! I thought it looked pretty hot!! All I knew was that it felt good especially followed by an orgasm with cum flowing into my mouth.

I found everything about it hot and exciting. I even started to take pictures of my cock in my mouth. I especially liked the pictures where I held my cock between my lips. Once my cock was between my lips, I immediately would apply pressure to my feet to increase the leverage to push my cock into my mouth as much as possible. Holding my body in this position required my feet to exert pressure on the toilet bowl rim to bring my cock in place. My body was like a spring that was compressed waiting to be released. My feet pushing against the toilet bowl edge is what held everything in place. Normally I wouldn't release my feet until I came or gave up. When my feet were released, my body literally sprang back to a relaxed position. It was in the blink of an eye that my body popped back. I wanted to see if I could just keep my cock in my mouth without having to push my feet against the toiletbowl edge or headboard rail. If I could do this, then I could do this anywhere!

The first time I decided to try this, I made sure my cock was firmly in my mouth. I made sure my feet were locked around the toilet bowl edge but ready to be released. My lips wrapped tightly around the shaft. The high I was feeling was great. Feeling my body pushing down as my cock was caressed by my tongue got me so hot! It made me want this even more. I pushed my feet a little harder driving my cock in just a bit more. I opened my mouth to allow more of my cock in. My cock had gotten even harder. I didn't want my cock leaving my mouth. I was ready! I held my position as I quickly did a mental inventory making sure I was ready to do this. Feeling now was the time, I held my cock in my mouth as best as I could. It was Go Time!

I let my feet slip off the edge of the toilet. Instantly my legs were free and my body popped away. When my body pulled away there was no time to react. My feet were free and not something that could instantly go back and recover their grip. My body instantly pulled my cock out of my mouth. The leverage was too great. In a millisecond my cock was out of my mouth. Nothing could be done to stop it. With my cock now in front of my face I examined everything about it. I loved looking at this beautiful source of cum. I gave it small kisses showing my appreciation. This distraction was not helping my focus on getting cum in me. I immediately got my cock back into my mouth. It took a bit to get back to full hardness. Once fully hard, I stroked my cock to bring myself to orgasm. Swallowing all my cum, I tenderly sucked and kissed it making sure it knew it was cared for. My brain still didn't like that my cock had cum in my mouth but what it wanted didn't matter. My emotional and physical attachment to the object and focus of my love was now my favorite pastime! Every single day that I could cum in my mouth was a good day!

Through my sucking and swallowing, my orgasms kept getting stronger and stronger. For sure I was in love with my own cock! Each time my mouth was able to receive my cock, I lavished it with kisses. Long caresses with my tongue. Hour long sessions of worship and loving attention. I wanted to keep my cock in my mouth all the time!!

I became very comfortable with cumming in my mouth. There was always a bit of hesitation from my brain but I was so comfortable doing it that I could pull my cock like an inch away from my mouth so I could see it shoot my sperm into my mouth. I found that my cum tasted better when I did this but the feeling of a cock pulsing between my lips also had its advantages. Either way, my cock was delivering that creamy reward I needed.

I really was in love with my cock! I took many pictures of it near and in my mouth. It was just like having a new relationship, wanting pictures of the happy couple. I put many of them on the wall next to my bed, I kept pictures in my wallet, longing for the moment when my mouth would be united with it again!

I loved my cock for many years until I found another cock to love. That is another story!!!