Well Freddy, good to see you. Glad you could make time to visit your old grandpa. Oh, grandma and I have been doing fine, thanks. How she keeps going is beyond me, but she's always been the strength of the family. Oh, I've slowed down a little, but I still can throw my line in the water most days, and enjoy my beer at supper time. That's how you live to be ninety five, none of this health food or clean living shit. Had to live rough for over a decade, took a few hits and came up swinging.
Well, you've done a couple of tours with the leathernecks, and now you're moving on. Yes, I'm glad you're working for the Company now, so is Grossmutti. Aren't you glad you spent all those summers with us, touring Germany and Europe? You might not have gotten to Heidelberg for university if we haven't taught you German, made you use it with us all the time. Fluency is another language opens doors, and I understand you've learned Russian as well as German. French, too? Proud of you, boy. Oh, we enjoyed taking you around, no doubt, I can tell you know you're our favorite grandchild. The life of a CIA agent is demanding, even though it's probably not as romantic as in our days. Being a Cold Warrior was extreme, as you kids put it. You've read LaCarre, right? There you go. Imagine there's still a lot of fun you can get into.
Oh, they've been telling stories about me at Langley? Don't know why, I never came up with any big coups. Glad they remember me with respect. How did I get the nickname 'Old Iron Balls'? Heh, heh, heh, well grandpa hasn't told that story for a while. Let me look around a little, make sure Trudi isn't here. What, don't get romantic on me, every couple has secrets from each other. No, she knows how I got the nickname. She doesn't need to know I'm telling you this story.
Comes from my field days. I lied about my age and joined the army in WW2, served in the artillery in Italy. In all my life, I've never had a scarier day than landing on the beach in Anzio, my first day in combat, even though it was a cakewalk. When the Germans got organized, it was a shithole. Damn Mark Clark! That whole operation was one big clusterfuck, we shoulda won the war in '44.
My family always liked to gab, and my grandparents came from Silesia, so I was already bilingual, and I picked up enough Italian to get by. Well, I always enjoyed making deals, and made contact with the locals for various things to make live more bearable. Soon I had contacts all the way up the peninsula, even did deals with the Germans. Usually screwed them over, they were the enemy, right?
Well, VE day came, and the OSS asked if I was interested in working for them. Hell, I didn't want to go back to northern Wisconsin, so I said yes in a heartbeat. After a little training, they set me up in east Berlin as a grocer. Yeah, things were cooling off with the Soviets, and they wanted to get listening posts set up as soon as they could. I knew something about the grocery business, my dad ran one, so here I was posing as a Wehrmacht vet who fought in Italy. Fritz Schnitter, from Silesia, family were all Communists back to the Empire days. Great legend, worked like a charm.
Everything started out OK, and I started gathering product on the streets for the Company as well as filling my shelves with good produce, but as the Commies took over, it got harder and harder. Yeah, I did my paperwork with them, got official approval to run an official state store. Of course, there was a black market, and I made lots of friends, so I survived. Was there more than twelve years, and even had the Politburo staff as customers. Yeah, you could call me a charter member of the Company, although I never got to HQ until later.
It was '53 she started coming by. Karin Hoffmeister was her name: a squat woman in her early 20's in a brown Vopo uniform. Regular customer on behalf of the government offices, I think she supplied the border guard's mess. Things started getting tense after the June uprising that year, had to be careful after that. Classic Teutonic features: sharp chin, blond hair, piercing blue eyes. The Nazis would have loved her. Those eyes could get me hard all by themselves. Wore her hair in braids wound around her head. Also on the plump side, well, not really fat, but stocky. Built like a brick German shithouse. Five feet tall, and carried herself like a soldier.
Also had the biggest tits I ever saw. Oh, I'd seen plenty by then, and I'm not bragging, Freddy, but these made my head spin. I'm sure she knew it, and got deals from me I wouldn't have given just anybody. Did I fuck her? No, you needed more than iron balls to approach a woman like that. She knew how to turn me on and turn me off. I was a bit paranoid about VD in those days, so when I was in Italy I always dealt in oral sex. Couldn't get VD from a chick's mouth. Sure, I'm pretty sure she was a virgin at the time, and I found out later for sure. But I'm getting ahead of myself. She was...
Wait a minute...Hello, Trudi? I'm fine, just sitting on the porch with Freddy, he just got in a half hour ago. No, he's unpacked his bags and turned down a nap. Just catching up on the family news. Yes, I heard Betsy's pregnant, and yes, I know that makes thirteen. That's unlucky, I may need to send Freddy out on the town tonight to make it even again. Fine, but I don't see how that will help things. Yes, since Freddy's here I think we'll need more beer. No, I don't think he'll settle for Budweiser, never has before. Yes, liebchen, you mean the world to me, too. Later.
Where was I? Oh yes, Berlin. Karin Hoffmeister. I used to lie awake at night, dreaming about those tits. Does Gossmutti know? I should say so. Karin only came on business, but we would make small talk, little flirtations. Don't think many men flirted with her, and I may have been the only man she flirted with. She never said much of consequence, but once in a while she let something slip that confirmed other stories. My contacts were scared of her, said she was the toughest interrogator in the business. Most of her subjects disappeared right after she was done with them.
I loved playing with fire. Hell, I was so happy in Berlin the whole time, playing the game was so much fun. For the last five years, we traded and bantered. I thought she was in her mid 30s, but she was only 25 when things fell apart. Oh, my tradecraft was textbook: lived my cover, took chances only when I had to, made drops without being seen. Pretended to be gay to mask my unmarried state, and try put Karin off the scent. Couldn't imagine her as a straight woman, either. Dreamed about getting her into an interrogation room, stripping her down and making her give me everything.
Then it happened, right after the Pope died in '58. Karin caught someone who talked too much, and she put two and two together. Set me up pretty good, made two visits to my shop without giving me the slightest hint she was on to me. Then one day, she was there, talking about onions and Elvis getting drafted, and asked me to get her a sack of potatoes from the back. I had a fifty pound bag in my arms as I came through the storeroom door, and saw her reaching up to get a can of sardines from the top shelf.
Suddenly, three buttons on her blouse gave way, and an ocean of tanned skin popped into view. Her cleavage was dramatic, and there wasn't a visible tan line. I stopped and just stared, my mouth wide open, which gave her the chance to kick me in the balls as hard as she could.
I dropped to my butt in shock, and she kicked my nuts again. The pain hit me, drawing my knees together, and snapping my eyes shut. "I know you're not from Silesia, Fritz. I know you were never in the Wehrmacht, I know German isn't your native language, although your German is excellent. I know Fritz Schnitter isn't your real name. You don't carry English tea or anything French, so I think you're an American. CIA would be my guess. You're a professional, and I give you credit for that." I noticed at the time she was wearing boots, and one of them blasted my crotch again.
She sneered at me when I was able to open my eyes again. I noticed she had turned my sign around to "Closed" and pulled the blinds. "You were good, led me on a merry chase, but now it's over. All over. You will tell me everything in order to live. I will give you a moment to catch your breath so you may speak. My English is perfect, so you can talk in your native tongue if you wish."
I tried to meet her glare and for a minute held her eyes unblinking. She took a deep breath, making her chest heave and I was distracted. "I have seen you looking at my breasts. That pleases me, most of the men I know take no notice of them. I guess my reputation puts them off." I looked back at her as calmly as I could, the sack of potatoes holding down my midsection. She smiled broadly, a twinkle in her eyes, and turned to silhouette them. "They are magnificent, aren't they? A woman appreciates the attention. Perhaps you have dreamed of seeing more. For information, I will give you a look. Tell me the rest of your contacts and you may see them in all their glory." They strained her bra, perfectly formed orbs with slivers of aureola peeking out. She noticed I was fixed on them, and she whipped off her tunic and blouse. Her torso was tanned, which was incredible for that time and place. "You could give me your name, rank, and serial number, if you wish. I bet you were a soldier in the last war. Not an officer, you don't have that kind of bearing. A supply sergeant, with contacts for all kinds of supplies? Works nicely with what you're doing now. You have seen combat, I can sense that. Probably fought in Italy after all, just not on our side." I will still staring at her tits, the concentration helped me push aside the agony of my testicles. "Names. Names for skin. Names for life itself. Who is in your network? Who are your sources? How do you communicate with your handlers?"
She smiled at me, and played with her bra strap. Looking at me with lust in her eyes as she slipped it down, exposing more tanned skin. Damn, the woman must have sunbathed naked. Not many people did that in those days, and not many easterners. Damn, I felt weak! She reached around and undid the clasp in the back. My eyes were fixed, my balls throbbed, my heart pounded, I couldn't move. She had me where she wanted me. Slowly she slipped down the other strap and held the bra in front of her, barely covering her tits.
