"Hell's bells Holly, why would your supreme commander call us all the way out here to see her?"
A pothole taken at high speed sent a jolt through the car. "Watch the road, dummy. I don't know, Ben. Several things come to mind, but this is the first time she's asked me to bring you. Probably shouldn't jump to conclusions."
Father Ben and Sister Holly were driving through the rolling hills of northwestern Iowa to the world headquarters of Holly's monastic confederation. It was a warm July day: sunny, with wispy clouds overhead, and a gentle breeze from the South. They passed several pastures on the way, where cows lazily grazed. Ben looked at his clock: "Four thirty in the afternoon. At least coming to the country is easier than going our way. Every time we drive back to the monastery I have Chicago rush hour to cope with. One advantage of working at a mausoleum in the middle of nowhere: no traffic worries."
Sister Holly looked blithely out the window at the passing grassland. "Yeah, that's what I hate about long journeys to Chicago. I spent my novitiate out here, so it brings back pleasant memories."
"What about the Mother General? I've never met her."
"Stacy's unlike a lot of superiors: she worked for a living before taking the vow. Has a reputation for shooting from the hip and getting what she wants. If she's mad at you, you're in trouble and if she's nice, you're in more trouble. I think she wants something from you, so she'll be gracious, at least from the beginning."
"OK. We seem to be here."
They pulled down a long drive ending with a massive school building from the 1920s. Trees lined their route, and a few cars were parked in the lot nearby. "Infirmary staff," Holly interjected, "here to take care of the invalids. A couple of groundskeepers, a couple of cooks, housekeepers."
"Just like my abbey. Used to do it all ourselves back in the day."
"As did we all, I've heard the stories. Don't know how soon we'll see Stacy, they'll be starting Evening Prayer right about now, then Happy Hour before dinner. We'll have time to get settled and pick up the gossip before she gets to us, probably."
After climbing a wide stairway to the front door, they were greeted by an elderly nun in a mechanized wheel chair. "Mother Immaculata, Abbot Johnson, a pleasure to see you both. We are honored by your presence. The Mother General has been anxious to see you, so please go to her office after dropping your bags off in your rooms. You're in the Perpetua and Felicity suites."
Ben and Holly gave each other a double take, then turned back to the guestmaster. Holly smiled and said, "Thank you, Sister Mary Martha. See you at supper."
"Oh, I think not tonight. You'll be dining in her quarters, or going out. Until tomorrow."
As they walked down the wide hallway, their shoes clanging with every step, Holly caught Ben's eye and whispered in his ear. "They're giving us the VIP rooms right next to Stacy's. She rarely shares a meal in her quarters with anyone less than a bishop. I'm worried."
He patted her shoulder. "Don't be. If nothing else, we can run away to Canada tomorrow if we're in too much trouble." She punched him in the arm and they continued their errand. The high, thin reedy voices of elderly nuns singing Evening Prayer wafted through the halls, and a bird call occasionally floated by from outside.
Mother General Stacy was a tall woman built like a linebacker, and she towered over both of them. Her habit was simple, like Sister Mary Martha's and Holly's, with a huge rosary circling her ample waist. She greeted them in the hallway with a smile, giving Father Ben a firm handshake and Sister Holly a hug. "Holly, wonderful to see you again, thanks for coming so quickly. I apologize for calling you here so urgently. Abbot Benjamin Johnson, OSB, a pleasure to meet you. I've heard great things about you, and look forward to our discussion." Coming to her door, she turned over a DO NOT DISTURB sign, and ushered them in.
Her office was huge, dominated by a massive desk in front of an alcove with three gigantic stained glass windows depicting the Trinity. A small area to the side held a couch, small table and a lounger, next to a sizable bar. The opposite wall was full of filing cabinets beneath an oversized portrait of Jesus walking on the water. Overhead was a crystal chandelier, and around the ceiling was a series of empty hooks. Beckoning to the couch, she invited them to sit and offered them drinks.
As they settled back with martinis, Stacy's face grew very grim. "I've heard a report about you, Holly, very serious. It says you're having an affair."
Holly looked at Ben and then back to her superior. "No, I don't think so. Abbot Johnson will witness to that when I release him from the seal of Confession. Apart from him, the only men I see on a regular basis are our groundskeepers, who are both happily married. There's no one I can have an affair with."
"How about a woman?"
"No thank, you, I'm not like that. Nothing wrong with lesbians, and there are some in my convent, but I give them the same respect and compassion I give everyone. But never been my cup of tea."
Mother Stacy turned to the priest. "What about you, Abbot? You're the one named as her lover."
"I'll admit I was Holly's lover before we came to religious life, but my visits to the convent on Saturday evenings are only about pastoral care."
"And your interaction is purely spiritual? What about going to her quarters after confessions?"
"We are old friends, and we chat. It's not like we have a lot of secrets from each other."
"I should imagine not. Since you were lovers, I imagine you know what each other looks like naked, so it's not curiosity. Did you ever spank each other?"