Ive Changed My Mind

*Log entry 1. 14:03 05/06/2027. Brain set to base configuration.*

Begin recordings of Dr. Einar Kaalest.

The purpose of this log is to give detailed background and context to every moment of my life during the following experiment. This is because the experiment I am about to perform will be on myself and will affect my brain chemistry and thought processes.

The background for this experiment is simple. I have come to the conclusion that the key problems facing mankind have one undeniable source, the brain chemistry of those in charge or in positions of influence. Every person who could make this world a better place is too scared of losing money or status in the process, and too powerful to force to do this against their will. So I have resolved to develop a device that can alter how individual brains function in order to technologically affect this change.

I have secured a working space in a former hospital in the outskirts of Riga, having fled to Latvia after my native Estonia's intelligence agency (EFIS) put together a rather unflattering file on me that attracted a level of law enforcement attention that started to impede my work. This is also my living quarters that I will only leave to gather food from the farm shop or collect packages from a nearby drop off point.

Assisting me on this experiment was the only robotic assistant I was able to salvage from my former laboratory. Sigh. Assistant Mu. At the time of the incursion of EFIS, Assistant Mu was at a local cinema watching the latest in god awful population distraction that Hollywood refers to as a movie (a label whose etymology clearly shows how contemptibly lowbrow this form of "art" is.) Assistant Mu was programmed on a whim to be the voice of the common man within my experiments' movement into ideological areas, but their AI has since evolved to desire and reflect an unending stream of vacuous pop culture. Nonetheless, they can obey instructions and will suffice until I seize a new stream of income that can afford me better mechanical assistance.

As I start testing the device on my own brain, I want to be clear in case I need to hear this message; the hospital is safe, Assistant Mu can be trusted, and the outside world has neither of these features. Especially for a misunderstood genius such as yourself.

Through the overlapping of microwave formations, I have made a device capable of heating up or moving tiny amounts or organic matter without affecting surrounding tissue. I have scanned my brain and mapped it out and will soon begin experimenting with adjusting the size of capillaries to increase or decrease blood flow to certain areas. This will not be mind control in the conventional science fiction sense of hypnosis or telepathy, but instead I plan to alter the basic processing structures to create a roadmap of alterations to make people more empathetic, less accepting of hypocrisy, and more willing to forswear personal ambition in favour of collective wellbeing.

Assistant Mu informs me that this makes me a "mad scientist", however they have yet to logically rebut the core concepts on which my plan is based, at least to my satisfaction. Instead they refer to the grandiosity and scale of my plans matching the villains from popular media, or the scientists at the Vipers' Nest, an organisation I am no longer a member of.

Nevertheless, I have at least decided on some safeguards to prevent this experiment causing severe and irreparable harm to myself or my mission.

The device will recognise a chip in my neck that confirms my identity, this way it can accurately track how many times I have used the device and what changes are currently active on my brain.

With this in mind, I have made it so the device will not accept any alterations to its core programming (that is related to how it functions rather than settings within its accepted functionality) unless its most recent usage was to revert my brain to its base configuration. This is to guard against my personality being caught in a loop of increasingly extreme modification based on previous modifications affecting my judgement. Also conscious of this loop, I have placed within the device a block on more than 3 consecutive alterations away from my basic brain configuration, so I will have to return to my old self at regular intervals to assess my state of mind after those changes.

The core programming that ensures these safeguards remain in place was locked behind an encryption generated within Assistant Mu, after which I removed the section of their memory banks that stored the encryption and smashed it with a hammer.

Finally, I have given Assistant Mu the charge that if I am unable or unwilling to return to the device to restore my brain to its default configuration, they have the ability to do it for me. They have the ability to trigger the device for only this purpose. In the event that I resist or am acting worryingly erratic, Assistant Mu also has the ability to trigger minor corrective shocks in the chip in my neck, programmed only to be used as a last resort to get me to submit to returning to the device.

I am, of course, very nervous about altering my brain chemistry, but the only alternative is to seek test subjects which would complicate the experiment variables and draw attention to my work from local law enforcement too early in configuration to allow the device to serve its purpose. This project is too important to risk on such factors so I am left with no alternative but to experiment on myself until the device is calibrated well enough to start expanding my mission through the capture, reprogramming, and release of people in positions of influence.

I will report back tomorrow on my initial findings of simply restricting blood flow to each region in turn before taking some physical, cognitive, and emotional tests.

*Log entry 2. 14:33 05/06/2027. Blood flow restricted to Temporal Lobe.*

Where am I? What is this facility? Assistant Mu, what are you doing here? Did you betray me, sell me out to those pigs at EFIS? Or did one of the Vipers' Nest get to you? I always hated you and now I know why.

No, get off me! I won't go into whatever torture device you have rigged up. I am Dr. Einar Kaalest and I won't be... Aargh.

*Log entry 3. 14:38 05/06/2027. Brain set to base configuration*

Fascinating. My short term memory was completely fried, but moreover this made me more erratic and subject to mood swings.

*Log entry 4. 14:57 05/05/2027. Blood flow restricted to Occipital Lobe.*

I don't feel any different except that I am now blind. No need for supplemental log.

*Log entry 5. 15:01 05/06/2027. Blood flow restricted to Broca's area*

Garg a narg, flarf neeple? Nerrang doopie sporb!

*Log entry 6. 15:06 05/06/2027. Brain set to base configuration*

That was surreal. Even though I could understand all the written and spoken words around me. I could not put them together myself, resulting in the stream of gibberish I just produced.

*Log entry 7. 15:36 05/06/2027. Brain set to base configuration.*

I was unable to record a log for the next alteration as reducing blood flow to the motor function area of the Parietal Lobe partially paralyzed me. No affect on my personality but I wasn't able to get off the floor to activate the log recorder.

*Log entry 8. 15:40 05/06/2027. Blood flow restricted to the Auditory area.*

As expected, I have lost my hearing. No need for supplemental log.

*Log entry 9. 15:51 05/06/2027. Blood flow restricted to the Amygdala.*

I don't feel any different. Assistant Mu, am I acting different? Oh, I'm sorry, finish what you were saying and then you can get back to me.

*Log entry 10. 15:58 05/06/2027. Brain set to base configuration.*

Only listening back on my log did I realise what was wrong. Assistant Mu had interjected on the testing routine with a deep dive on which Avatar the Last Airbender fanfic seems the most plausible, yet I was not feeling the deep wellspring of annoyance I usually did. I still had no desire to engage in the conversation, but I was remarkably demure about something that would usually drive me to blistering rage. Research suggests other emotions can be altered in this area.

*Log entry 11. 16:04 05/06/2027. Blood flow restricted to the upper rear section of the Parietal lobe.*

Argh, this is hellish, my arms feel heavy and my skin feels numb. If I move my legs they are filled with an overwhelming surge of cold. My senses are clearly thrown for a loop with this one. Will label this section the sensory area for future configurations.

No supplemental log needed.

*Log entry 12. 16:13 05/06/2027. Blood flow restricted to the lower rear section of the Parietal lobe.*

Aside from a bit of a chill across my skin, this felt the same at first. But part way through the quick cognitive test, I couldn't for the life of me figure out what the devices displayed on my screen were for. They were a strange series of platforms with supplemental supports. I can conceptualise that there is a use for them but my brain simply can't categorise them.

*Log entry 13. 16:19 05/06/2027. Brain set to base configuration.*

They were chairs. I took away my ability to identify chairs.

For the sake of easy configuration, this sector will be classified as the classification centre of the Parietal Lobe.

*Log entry 14. 16:25 05/06/2027. Blood flow restricted to Wernicke's area.*

Assistant Mu, you're not making sense. Run diagnostics on your vocal processing chip because you are speaking gibberish. I'll just... have you been playing with the language settings on my computer?

*Log entry 15. 16:36 05/06/2027. Brain set to base configuration.*

If I felt the need to apologise to objects, I would certainly owe Mu one. It is fascinating losing my ability to understand spoken or written language while still being able to talk. My non-verbal reasoning seemed to take the brunt of my thought processes during this experience.

*Log entry 16. 16:50 05/06/2027. Blood flow restricted to quadrant 1 of the Frontal Lobe.*

I don't need a supplemental on this one. I just need to get into the device and... how do I make it do the... return my brain to default configuration, yes! I'll return my brain to default configuration. How was I going to do that again? Is there a process? Or some kind of... device! Yes I'll get into the device, and it will... it will...

*Log edited to remove excessive redundant statements.*

*Log entry 17. 17:37 05/06/2027. Brain set to base configuration.*

I feel I should put in a supplemental here. Restricting blood flow to this quadrant meant my brain was rendered unable to process multi-stage plans, thus my confusion and difficulty returning to base configuration.

Will reclassify this area as the Joined-up thinking quadrant of the Frontal Lobe.

*Log entry 18. 17:44 05/06/2027. Blood flow restricted to quadrant 2 of the Frontal Lobe.*

Ha ha ha... I was just shocked, hehe, by Assistant Mu, pfft, because I didn't feel like getting back in the device.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

It hurt so much.

Haha.

I really don't want them to do it again.

Hehehe.

*Log entry 19. 17:59 05/06/2027. Brain set to base configuration.*

That was unnerving, I was responding logically to my external stimulus, but it was like someone had switched an emotional switch in my head so I could only respond to my surroundings with amusement. It was a very discordant feeling.

Will categorise this quadrant as the emotional response quadrant

*Log entry 20. 18:36 05/06/2027. Blood flow restricted to quadrant 3 of the Frontal Lobe.*

Hey log device. I've decided I'm going to speak to you like a person for this update. A big strapping man? Yeah, your name is Peeter now. So Peeter, like what you see? I took off my clothes because it was hot, and I'm hot.

Don't you think I'm hot, Peeter?

Look at these banging d-cup titties. They're so grabable, don't you just want to get a handful.

Yeah my hair is a bit disheveled and I haven't shaved in a while, but you'd fuck me wouldn't you. I could program you to. I just got Assistant Mu to fuck me with a courgette from the farmers shop, I could engineer you some kind of strapon.

I should go get some carrots. Assistant Mu, I'm going down the road to get some carrots. I don't need to redress, if anyone has a problem then... argh.

How dare you stand in my way, I'm going to break you down and...

Aaaargh.

*Log entry 21. 19:02 05/06/2027. Brain set to base configuration.*

That was... embarrassing. All humans have intrusive thoughts, it's nothing to be ashamed of. I just took away my ability to suppress them. I heard of the Phineas Gage case study, that damage to the inhibition centres of the brain can lead to erratic results, but that was a... an interesting manifestation of them. I'm going to get myself some dinner and then try restricting blood flow to the final quadrant of my frontal lobe.

Oh, yes, categorisation. In future this will be known as the inhibition quadrant of the Frontal Lobe.

*Log entry 22. 20:26 05/06/2027. Blood flow restricted to quadrant 4 of the Frontal Lobe.*

Quadrant 4 appears to not prevent any functionality on my ability to analyse the situation I find myself in. I am, however, paralysed by an inability to ascertain how I should react. I think the device has adversely affected my active creativity, locking me in a state of inactive analytics.

I am still trying to figure out what I should do to reverse this situation.

*Log entry 23. 21:05 05/06/2027. Brain set to base configuration.*

It took infuriatingly long for me to tease a solution out of Assistant Mu by only explaining the current situation. They eventually figured out that they should be putting me in the device, although reflecting on my experiments with the inhibition quadrant mixed with their knowledge of HBO put a lot of inappropriate ideas in their processor that I had to shut down.

Will reclassify this quadrant as the creativity quadrant, a slight misnomer considering the varied parts of the brain that work together to channel creativity, but representative of the outcome of shutting off the part of the brain that brings those processes together to form outlets and actions.

It is now getting late. I will have analytics work overnight combining these logs with other measurements to put together a heuristic to do more nuanced alterations going forward.

*Log entry 24. 09:01 06/06/2027. Brain set to base configuration.*

It is a good thing I decided to get some sleep. I was reeling a bit from the quick succession of brain alterations, but after I had slept my mind seemed to truly revert.

I also realised that I needed a goal, something to work towards that would show that my planned brain alterations will increase empathy and concern for wellbeing among the powerful. After a good night's sleep I found a solution.

Every configuration, I will try and perform a hard restart Assistant Mu. This process leaves them with a processing output that mirrors disorientation, were I to fall into the trappings of over-anthropomorphisation, I would consider this painful and confusing to the pile of bolts. How I feel towards Assistant Mu is how those in power feel towards regular people, so I am going to try and alter my brain so I feel empathy for an annoying robot and not do a hard reset on them.

So now, I will be attempting my first creative alteration. For the sake of these logs, blood flow will be categorised in 4 ways: restricted (i.e. prevented as far as possible without risking permanent damage), impeded (i.e. a measured prevention of flow), increased (i.e. capillaries dilated to maximise blood flow), and normal (blood flow unchanged and for brevity section not noted in log headings). The precise scale of these alterations will be within my research notes but these crude categories will do to capture brain state within log headings to conceptualise my behaviour.

*Log entry 25. 09:41 06/06/2027. Blood flow restricted to the Amygdala, impeded to the Temporal Lobe, and increased to the inhibition quadrant of the frontal lobe.*

This combination is good. I feel far less annoyed by Assistant Mu, my emotions are a bit in flux but my inhibitions have been increased. In theory resetting Assistant Mu would be too impulsive for someone no longer holding on to the little annoyances that helped me dehumanise them.

Nevertheless, I just reset Assistant Mu. I will reset myself to figure out why.

*Log entry 26. 09:59 06/06/2027. Brain set to base configuration.*

Looking back, although Assistant Mu was no longer associated with negative emotions, they were still categorised in my mind as a machine. Maybe if I restricted blood flow to the categorisation centre of the Parietal Lobe.

My increased inhibitions actually worked against me, as not resetting Assistant Mu was the impulsive act and I didn't want to deviate from routine.

I am also aware that I don't need to switch back to base settings to plan. If I make myself introspective and creative, I could move from one configuration to the next with more efficiency.

*Log entry 27. 10:33 06/06/2027. Blood flow restricted to the categorisation centre of the Parietal Lobe, and increased to joined-up thinking and inhibition quadrants of the Frontal Lobe.*

This arrangement is very odd. Heavily processing but without categorisation. I am planning and exercising my creativity, and not letting traditional compartmentalisation impede my thoughts.

For starters I still want to reset Assistant Mu. I thought that re-evaluating their being would remove mental barriers to considering them human, instead I simply don't see why the category of human is needed.

That being said, Assistant Mu is just a bunch of moving parts, nothing is wrong with the series of electromechanical processes triggered by the hard reset.

I need to think through all the things holding me back. I shuddered at the thought of reducing blood flow to the inhibition quadrant of my frontal lobe because of a latent attachment of shame to sexualisation. But nobody is here but me, if I end up meeting my parameters with a blush it's still a step in the right direction.

I'm going to take a jump into the deep end.

*Log entry 28. 11:50 06/06/2027. Blood flow restricted to the inhibition quadrant of the Frontal Lobe, and increased to the Temporal Lobe and joined-up thinking and creativity quadrants of the Frontal Lobe.*

Hey Peeter! Yes, even though my brain was different I still remember that. My brain is whizzing right now. Nothing is off limits to me. I am having ideas thick and fast.

I'm naked again.

You like what I did. I shaved myself. Everything below my neck is now hairless.

I know I'm meant to be reconfiguring my brain to be nice to Assistant Mu, but I still reset his ass the moment he finished shaving my pussy. I thought it would be funny and I was right.

But I am having so many ideas, and I don't think it's just because my brain is buzzing with creativity and plans. It's because I'm free of self doubt.

For all intents and purposes, I am happy.

I'm also bored of calling you Peeter, I'm going to stop.

And I think that's the problem. I've been trying to change the minds of people I fundamentally don't understand. You think billionaires have impulse control? One week they're buying countries, the next they're sailing around the world on a yacht made of gold. Unless I restrict blood flow to the Temporal Lobe, my memories survive this whole process. Time is on my side. I've only got one change left until I'm forced to revert to base, so I'm going to use the next process to make my mind as much like theirs as possible.

Restrict blood flow to the inhibition quadrant and increase blood flow to the amygdala so I feel my emotions more acutely without those inhibitions holding me back.