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Draft one: This is a new SPH and humiliation story I'm writing at the moment. I would love to get some feedback in the comments if you have a moment!
Draft Two (current): Thanks for all of your feedback so far, it's really helpful for me to get an idea about what is, or isn't, working for my stories. I'm writing a second part to this story now and I've made a few tweaks to certain details in order to neaten it up. Please carry on leaving feedback, it really is appreciated!
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The card reader clicked loudly, blinking it's green light in approval at my card and I pushed open the door. I gave another quick glance up and down the empty corridor and then held it open as she walked through. I allowed myself a glance at her as she entered the room, her tight blue dress, hugging her slim waist and showing off her gorgeous figure.
The dimmed lights flickered on immediately and the low hum of the air conditioning resonated in the oppressive silence as the door clicked shut behind us. She glanced around the magnificent suite without much interest, casually dropping her bag to the floor and peering around through the archway opposite the perfectly set bed.
Back when my company had first taken off, to everyone's surprise not least my own, I had been enamoured by the glitz of high end hotels of my business trips. My childhood is a familiar story in a suffering country, poverty-stricken and hungry. The long days drawing out into unenthusiastic visions of my future played out on the chipped plasterboard of my bedroom ceiling.
The sense of creeping worthlessness still gripped strongly when I thought back to earlier life and I pushed the thought away. The terror at being poor ever again meant that I had grown my business carefully, only investing when it was absolutely necessary and creating such a streamlined company that I was quickly buying up the flailing competition. I lived frugally, in a modest home, only really allowing myself the taste of my success when I was on trips with hotel suites and century-old glasses of whiskey.
I had afforded myself that much at the very least, as long as I was careful to retain control.
Rachel stalked casually through the archway, into the sitting area where three long sofas sat in a U shape, facing out through the tall windows onto the orange and white starry city far below. In the very distance, you could make out the shape of the endless fields of farms, struggling to feed a growing, ravenous population.
She looked completely at ease, as though she had seen the inside of every hotel room in the city and was only moderately impressed by the antique wooden bar or the small open plan kitchen beyond the sitting area. She was utterly beautiful, by far the most gorgeous creature I had ever set my eyes on in person. She was slightly taller than me, with long blonde hair, slightly curled which draped down across her back and her round, pert breasts. She wore a light blue dress, almost exactly the same shade of blue as her eyes, which turned around and fixed upon my own.
"Drink?" She offered, her smile bright white and perfectly complementing her small nose and high cheekbones. There was a small mole on her right temple, a small blemish which seemed only to enhance her beauty.
I nodded and she turned to the bar, tracing her long white fingers in the air as she picked out a bottle from the fridge. I didn't see which one she picked but I could tell it was one of the obscenely priced bottles of champagne which the hotel would no doubt add a crippling surcharge to the bill. I said nothing as she busied herself opening it, taking the opportunity to look at her slim body hugging the fabric of her dress. The smooth curve of her hips made my heart flutter in anticipation. I was more nervous than I had ever been in my life, standing in a hotel room with a woman more stunning than any I had ever known, knowing that I was about to bring a fantasy to life which I had never confided in anyone before.
She poured me out a drink, handing it out to me and I accepted it with shaking hands. Slightly smiling, she clinked her glass against mine and took it and the bottle over to the sofa where she sat down and crossed her long smooth legs. The blue dress rode up a few more inches against her endless, slim legs and I felt a twinge of arousal.
"Sit down with me," Rachel said, gesturing at the other end of the sofa from me with her glass. With my heart racing, I complied, nervously sinking back against the leather and attempting to look casual. Her voice was soft and low, a comforting sound and very sweet which made her seem all the more attractive. Her soft voice seeming to contradict her glaring, strong beauty.
"Don't be nervous," she said, encouraging me to drink. I laughed quietly and took a long sip, the glass barely left my lips before she leant forward and started to top me up again. "People are sometimes nervous at first, why don't we get to know each other a little better? Let's play a game, we'll ask each other questions and we have to take a drink after each answer."
I hesitated. I knew that call girls could sometimes blackmail their well-known clients, whilst I wasn't a movie or a rock star, I would definitely suffer from being exposed. I had made sure to use a fake surname when I called the agency, stressing the need for discretion which had been thoroughly assured by the seductive voice which had answered.
"OK, how old are you?" I asked unsure, feeling like she was about to laugh at me but she answered without a beat.
"Twenty four." Rachel took another long sip. "What about you Jack?"
Although the sound of her using my name gave me shivers, I inwardly cursed. I should've used a fake first name too. "I'm twenty eight." I took a long swig from my glass, once again finding it topped up before I had lowered it completely.
Rachel raised her eyebrows and nodded impressed. "You must be doing alright for yourself Jack, a place like this and so young."
I shrugged awkwardly, like I did when anyone made a comment like that. "Was that your question?"
