I fell madly in love with Edward shortly after meeting him. I was in my last year of my graduate studies. I was in a very unhealthy relationship with a man, Tom, almost ten years my senior. Meeting Edward gave me the motivation to leave that relationship. I have always been what is referred to as a sapiosexual - I'm attracted to men with intelligence. Edward had that in spades. His dry, sarcastic wit made me laugh the first time we met, and I loved that about him.
I had no feelings for the older man, Tom, I was dating at the time. The year I was with him, however, had a profound effect on me and my outlook on sex and relationships. I was far from being a virgin when I started dating Tom. What made the relationship with Tom unique compared to all the other guys I had slept with? He had a really large cock and the skill to use it.
Sex with Tom was exquisite. The truth is I was addicted to it. I was addicted to his dominance and the way he treated me like a slut. But I owe him for showing me that my inner slut exists.
When Edward and I started dating, I went without sex for almost two months. He was shy, polite, and a gentleman. Despite every signal I gave him that I was receptive to any sexual advances he might want to initiate he would not do so. I therefore took the initiative to initiate sex for the first time myself. I adore performing fellatio, and in my mind that was the perfect way to start out our first time.
I soon discovered the reason for him being so hesitant to be amorous with me.
My aggressive efforts to lower his pants turned to insistence. Once they were down and he was exposed to me, I was presented with the smallest erect penis on a man I had ever encountered. Yet I was neither disgusted nor disappointed. I truly had feelings for Edward. I actually thought his small penis was somewhat adorable. I took him into my mouth hoping he would enjoy my skills. He climaxed and ejaculated into my mouth in less than a minute, and I swallowed as always.
He began apologizing profusely, as if he had committed some kind of egregious sin by finishing in my mouth. I comforted him and gave him reassurance that what happened was the result I desired even though I had hoped to initiate intercourse instead. That's when I learned that he was a virgin, and that he had always avoided sex with the girls he dated because of his diminutive penis.
I told him that it didn't matter to me. At the time it really didn't. During the following months of our relationship I began to find out exactly how mistaken I was.
Edward was under no illusion that I received sexual pleasure during intercourse with him. His penis was too slender and short and provided very little stimulation if any. Edward's testicles were the size of grapes and never slapped against me during his thrusts. His climaxes arrived quickly, almost uncontrollably, and the semen he ejaculated rarely made it inside me. Usually I would soon feel the vast majority of it oozing down my perineum and across my anus to the bedding underneath me.
That said, I enjoyed witnessing how much pleasure he received during those orgasms while barely inside my entrance. It was obvious he adored and appreciated me. While he lacked endowment he more than made up for it with his willingness to allow me to teach him how to use his fingers and mouth to satisfy me. His determination to give me pleasure in that manner allowed me to climax almost every time.
The orgasms were pleasant, but they were not the kind that every woman desires to have. Having climaxed numerous times while being stretched both wide and deep by a large cock, I was keenly aware of the pleasure that Edward would never possibly be able to give me.
A few more months into our relationship he began asking me questions about my sexual history. I was somewhat defensive about it at first. My fear was that, if he learned the extent of my sexual history he would no longer love me, or that he would judge me. I was always under the impression that men did not like to even think about their girlfriends being with another man.
Not Edward.
His persistent questions made me slowly start opening up about my past sexual experiences with other men. It became obvious that my stories aroused Edward, so I began to tell him even more. I confessed that I loved performing fellatio, I loved having sex in general, but that I had always been furtive about my promiscuity by hiding under a cloak of being conservative, of acting like a "good girl" to everyone that I knew.
Then he asked about the largest cock I had ever experienced. I told him everything about Tom, the man I had dated prior to him.
"I know this sounds weird, Beth," he said, "but I would have enjoyed watching you have sex with Tom."
"Why?" I responded.
"I'll never be able to see you overwhelmed by lust and passion during sex. I'll never witness you lose control and become animalistic with me during intercourse. I find the thought of witnessing you in that state so sexy."
What he said immediately afterward shocked me.
"I know that I will never be able to satisfy you sexually. I also know that is a very important part of a relationship for a woman. If we continue to stay together, if you truly love me, I promise that I will do whatever it takes to ensure that you receive sexual satisfaction."
I responded by telling him that I did receive some sexual pleasure while with him, to not "worry" about it, but he quickly interrupted me.
"You don't understand," he explained, "I know that all women prefer much larger cocks than what I have to offer. The fact that you've experienced one, that you enjoyed it the most, will only make you yearn for one again. I would never want you to cheat on me emotionally, but I am willing to let you have sex with other men, men who are much more endowed than me, to ensure your love for me never diminishes because of that yearning."
I was honestly confused by the honesty of his statement. He perceived it. Then he began explaining the concepts of cuckolding, open marriages, and hotwives. He also affirmed that he would never desire to have sex with another woman - only me. He said, "Just think about it. It will always be an option. I'll never refuse to give you permission to have sex with any other man you find sexually attractive. I give you my word. I do, however, have one request."
"What's that?" I asked curiously. If he was willing to let me have sex with other men, what possible stipulation could he have?
"I want to participate in some way. To be there, or be with you afterward. I want to reaffirm my love and desire for you immediately after you've had sex with another man."
I had no idea what he meant when he used the word "participate" in this context. I would not learn the full extent of his desires to act upon his submissive male tendencies until a few years into our marriage.
A few months later I finished graduate school. He proposed to me a few days later. I accepted. Little did I know that my first opportunity to cuckold him and experience sexual pleasure with a large cock just a few weeks later.
* * *
Soon after learning of our engagement, Edward's parents invited us to come stay with them for two weeks at their ranch in west Texas. It was obvious that Edward and his family had wealth. His father owned a company that supplied parts to the oilfield industry. He had worked for his father in the family business throughout college, but moved across the state to "pursue his own interest" of computers. Having just graduated, I did not yet have a job. Edward took vacation and we began the six-hour drive for our visit.
