The last few years have been terrible for young people. First, Brexit happened and we lost the possibility of working and living in the EU. Our parents' generation got to spend time there without restrictions. Many of my parents' school friends ended up marrying and living in France, Belgium, Spain, or Germany.
Then COVID came along. It devastated the final years of our education. It doesn't matter what Google or Zoom believe but a grid of videos on a tiny laptop screen is not a classroom.
I would have liked to go to university. But that wasn't going to happen so I ended up doing shop work. It's reliable and better paid than it was a few years ago but inflation is steadily eating that advantage away. I only get to go to the pub once a month, so I was amazed when I recognised a familiar face in Wetherspoons.
"Hello Jamie. Do you recognise me?"
"I think so. It's Mme Dumas, right? I was in your French class."
"It is and you were. I'm glad I saw you here. Could I drag you away from your friends for a few minutes?"
I stood up and went outside with her. It was cold and a bit windy but not raining. I suppose the sound of the wind would keep anything she wanted to say relatively private.
"You've left school now, haven't you, Jamie?"
"Yes. I'm at Sainsbury's now. I was at Tesco but I was headhunted."
"Management?"
"Shelf management, I'm afraid. I didn't get on well with distance learning."
"I'm sorry, Jamie. It was a difficult time for everyone. And that's sort of what I wanted to ask you about. I suppose you're an adult now..."
"Yes, 20. With prospects of promotion to Director of Shelving Strategy." I moaned.
"Jamie, just because you've left school does not mean your education must be over. Opportunities can present themselves and this might be one."
"Oh? What do you have to offer me."
"I don't think we should discuss it here. But I'd like to invite you to dinner on Wednesday. At my place. My husband is a very good cook."
"Thank you, Mme Dumas. But I don't really have a date to bring."
"Well that's just perfect. You and me, with my husband in the kitchen. He can cook and clean up, I hope. Now we must swap numbers so we can coordinate."
We NameDropped our cards to each other and I went back inside feeling a little confused. But that didn't last long and I was soon back to talking about an upcoming drill music festival.
* * *
The next morning I got a message from Mme Dumas.
'Hello Jamie, this is Delphine Dumas. We met last night and you promised to come around to dinner on Wednesday. Can you be here at 7:30?'
She included a map link and I saw it was nearby. So I confirmed I'd be there and put it in my calendar. I'm so tired after work I can sometimes forget about events. But there was something about what she said that both confused and intrigued me, so I wanted to be there.
* * *
I was famished when I got back from work and had the eternal dilemma. Should I eat now and spoil my appetite for later or turn up hangry and ruin the evening? I tried to compromise with a couple of oatcakes I had marked as damaged. I put a yellow sticker on them so I could get them for just 30p.
I showered and changed. I wore the shirt I got for my sister's wedding and my lucky boxer shorts. They are the boxer shorts I wore when Amanda said she'd go out with me. They were also the boxer shorts I wore when she broke up with me -- but it's important to keep positive.
As I left for Mme Dumas's house I realised I should have brought a bottle of wine or something. But maybe it was best not to guess. I didn't know what was happening for dinner.
* * *
I rang the bell and Mme Dumas was wearing some kind of diaphanous gown in pastel shades when she answered. It was both very proper and also left nothing to the imagination. I started to realise that she was only about six or seven years older than me.
She kissed me on the cheek as she welcomed me. And while it was a kiss on the cheek it seemed more.
"Come on in, Jamie. It's cold outside. You must be freezing."
The house was warm and smelled of roasting meat. My stomach told me that I was hungry.
"We'll eat soon. But first I want to discuss my offer with you."
She led me to a nicely furnished living room and sat me on an s-shaped conversation chair. So we both sat next to each other and faced each other. It was a very clever design and quite romantic.
"I like this furniture." I needed to say something and thought this was a good place to start. It couldn't be rude in any way and left her lots of room to take it wherever she wanted.
"Oh, yes. These are sometimes called conversation chairs but some people call them courting benches. They were a French invention." She sounded smug.
"Now, I haven't let on much and I owe you an explanation."
I just nodded.
"We had a bad pandemic, too. Teachers are people people. I know that the people we taught had a bad time but us teachers had a bad time, too. We normally interact with more than a hundred people a day. Suddenly we lost all of that. It was hard for my husband and me. We both felt responsible for the education of the young people we taught but we were hamstrung. It was a terrible mental pain."
I started to see things from the other side. I could imagine how it must have been just as much a prison sentence for her as it was for us as teenagers. Then she continued.
"You know, us teachers discuss you students in the staff room. We talk about who is most likely to become rich, who is most likely to get banged up for blagging a jeweller's, and so on."
"I hope you didn't have me down as a future guest of His Majesty," I joked.
"No, not that. We all agreed that you were a kind hearted young man. Hard working. And very handsome."
"You had me down as..." I couldn't bring myself to say it.
"Janice Barnes was your swimming teacher when you were in the upper 6th, I think."
"Oh my God!"
"She's a young woman and she had to look to make sure your legs were kicking properly."
"Anyway, back to the pandemic. It turns out that my husband is very good at many things but not everything. He'll never be able to give me children."
I had a feeling I could see where this was going now. My former French mistress had heard I was packing and wanted to see if I could give her a... that couldn't be right could it? I mean they could get IVF or adopt or something like that.
"So, Jamie. You're no idiot. Can you put two and two together?"
"Should I be coming up with four?"