People handle break ups in a lot of different ways. Some people pick up a new hobby, or maybe get a pet or two, or eat an entire gallon of ice cream. But for The Joker, he decided to instead kidnap his ex-girlfriend and ex-partner in crime, Harley Quinn and hang a tub of battery acid over her head.
Harley was able to shimmy the rag off of her mouth as The Joker laughed psychotically.
"The one thing I hated more than being your girlfriend was wearing this FUCKING OUTFIT! I can't believe you put this fucking thing back on me... IT'S RIDING UP MY FUCKING ASS CRACK!" Harley yelled.
"Oh shut up you little hussy... besides, you look so good in it. Ya can't beat a classic hehe" The Joker said with a shrug.
"Well you sure did... AND PRETTY DAMN OFTEN TOO! How's about you untie me and we'll finish this in a good old one on one fight. No tricks. No games. One of us dies and the other lives... whatda ya say?" Harley replied.
Joker crossed his arms and shook his head "Oh Harley... you seem to forget that I'M THE ONE IN CHARGE AROUND HERE! And besides... what a waste of battery acid it would be if I was to kill you so simply as beating the hell out of you"
"So why don't you just fucking kill me already?" Harley asked.
"Well you see... since you left me.. Everyone in Gotham has thought I've gone soft... that I'm incomplete without you... but I think you and I both know that it's the other way around.."
"What are you talking about?"
"I MADE YOU! I made everything there is about you. I gave you a home, a career, A LEGACY! Without me there is no Harley Quinn... just some slut in clown makeup... So I have this camera set up to broadcast all over Gotham, and everyone is going to see that you mean NOTHING to me... and that you're nothing without me..."
Joker stepped over and hit the record button on the camera, stepping in front to give a big smile and a wave.
"GOOD EVENING CITIZENS OF GOTHAM! WE INTERRUPT TONIGHTS PROGRAMS TO BRING YOU... THE DEATH OF HARLEY QUINN! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
As Joker was about to grab the rope attached to the tub above Harley's head, a loud crash rang out through the empty warehouse. Joker and Harley looked up to see the one and only Batman falling down through the ceiling and out of the shadows.
Joker scrambled to reach into his pocket to pull out a gun, but before he could pull it out, Batman had already grabbed him by the shirt and lifted him off the ground.
"Oh Batsy.. I never thought I'd be happy to see you.." Harley said with a smile.
"SHUT UP HARLEY!" Joker shouted.
"NO! YOU SHUT UP!" Batman growled.
"Are you actually defending her? NEED I REMIND YOU THAT SHE ALSO HELPED ME DESTROY THE CITY OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS?!" Joker replied.
Batman kept a straight face as he gripped tighter.
"You manipulated her... Abused her.. Before she met you she was an innocent, sweet, and thoughtful woman who only wanted to help people with twisted minds like you. And since she left you she's been making up for her misdeeds with counseling and community service..."
Joker's look of anger turned to disgust as he looked over at Harley and said "Counseling?... COMMUNITY SERVICE?! ECK, I think I might throw up... Who even are you anymore?" The Joker asked with disdain.
"She's once again that innocent and sweet woman she once was... and you're still a madman who's going right back into prison..." The Batman said as he slammed Joker to the ground and handcuffed him.
Harley's heart began pounding with joy, never before had she watched Batman handcuff The Joker and feel happy about it. And after hearing how Batman described her, she quickly started seeing him in a new light as she whispered to herself "... my hero.."
As Batman finished up handcuffing the clown prince of crime, GCPD officers began moving into the building and surrounding the now apprehended villain. Batman then walked over to Harley and pulled out a batarang, using it to cut the rope around her body.
"Are you okay?" Batman asked.
"Y... yeah..." Harley replied, still overcome with lust for the caped crusader.
"The GCPD will give you a ride back home... But be careful for any of The Joker's goons who'll be out to get you after tonight" Batman explained.
Harley reached up and pulled off her red and black mask and used her hand to whip off the white caked makeup, showing her pretty face as her cheeks turned slightly red.
"Thank you B man..." Harley said shyfully.
Harley turned and began walking away, but suddenly she got butterflies in her stomach. Acting on instinct she turned back around and planted a quick kiss onto Batman, catching both Batman himself and several GCPD officers off guard. Harley then turned back around, seeing Joker's furious expression as she giggled to herself and began skipping away to the police car waiting for her outside.
Jim Gordon then walked over to Batman and asked "What was that about?"
"I don't know.. But Joker's definitely got her house surrounded... keep your men parked outside overnight..." Batman explained before grappling up and out of the already broken ceiling.
"Hu... for once he didn't disappear on me... Tonight's just full of weird stuff happening.." Gordon said to himself before leaving with the rest of the GCPD officers.
As Harley rode back to her home, her mind lingered on the feeling of kissing Batman and how foreign the feeling was, but how hot it was as well. Harley's mind even wandered back to a time where Batman gave her mouth to mouth and Harley turned it into a kiss.
Back then Harley only did it as a joke, and was beating herself up for not remembering what it felt like to have her tongue inside his mouth. Harley wiggled a bit in the back seat of the car as she started sliding her hand down to her crotch and rubbing herself.
"Are you okay back there Harley?" The officer asked.