Everyone says that Edith Ann and I make a strange couple and yes, I guess, I have to agree. Even the way we met was unusual; my sister entered me in a 'Bid on a Date With' charity auction. I agreed only because my sister told me I had no choice. The night of the auction, I had car trouble and was so late I was auctioned off sight unseen and Edith Ann won me on the minimum bid. When I finally got there, my date was gone and that left only my sister to describe her. She gave me the following account of my soon to be date. Edith Ann had mousy brown hair that she wore unwashed in a ponytail. Her horn-rimmed glasses did nothing to hide her dull brown eyes and although she is was over eighteen, she was still battling acne. As far as her figure, she is a large girl with wide hips and thighs and yet she has very small breasts. After listening to all this I asked her what was her best feature, she grinned and said,
"The only thing attractive I can say about her is that you only have to go on one date with her."
As my sister says 'A deal is a deal' so I decided to get it over with and go on my date with the girl who purchased me.
I picked her up at her apartment and sure enough, Edit Ann was just as described. She was dressed in what my mother used to call a house dress, meaning something you didn't go out in but wore around the house. I then noticed she was wearing saddle shoes and socks, I was just hoping to take her to a movie, then maybe a hamburger and home. Edith Ann would have none of that, she told me the restaurant she wished to go to and even the club where she wanted to go dancing. All I could think was my sister was going to owe me big time.
After a thoroughly humiliating evening, I hoped to drop her at her door and at last be free from this shrew. However, Edith Ann had different ideas and grabbed my arm to drag me inside for 'coffee' (she made the universal finger sign for quote). Her apartment was a mess dirty dishes and empty pizza boxes all over, stains on the rug and even dirty clothes in a pile. I knew the only way to get the night over with was to play nice and wait for my escape. She sat next to me on the couch and began kissing me; I have to say her lips were very soft and kissable. I soon found myself returning her kisses and I began to become worked up. When she invited me into her bedroom I thought, why not, I mean once aroused what man my age would turn down sex no matter how a woman looked. Her bedroom was worse than the front room with the bed unmade and visible stains on the sheets. She told me to lie down and while on my back, I watched as she undressed me. When she got down to my erection, she grabbed it harshly giving it a couple of jerks. Once I was naked she began to undress herself, I found I was getting into it and I couldn't wait to get inside her, and then she took her dress off. Oh, my god she had on big girl panties and a K mart bra, I swear she looked just like my mother. Once that picture entered my head all thoughts of sex were gone, I even lost my erection. She pulled off her panties and just threw them on the bed then she climbed on after them. She took a hold of my limp penis,
"What's a matter boy you lost your stiffly, don't you worry I don't need it hard."
