The last entry left me deeply concerned for Abigail's safety. She actually rode in a car with a drunk driver! They both could have been killed!! Not to mention, they put the lives of many other innocent drivers at risk. As if that were not enough, she experimented with Molly- a truly dangerous drug that has been known to kill people using it even once!
As a mother I should have pulled out all the stops to help her retreat from the ledge, change her ways and make good choices before she hurt herself or someone else. But I had to confront an inconvenient truth- I was sooo horny reading her entry. The more depraved her behavior was, the more aroused I got. I lost count of the number of times I masturbated. I loved reading about her getting William and Henry off at the same time in public! I loved reading about her and Candace dancing lewdly in public. And I especially loved reading about Candace fucking her with a strap-on dildo. Abigail's continued descent into drugs, alcohol, and sexual depravity made me wet throughout the day. I knew I could never put an end to her corruption. On the contrary, I needed to secretly facilitate it...
Entry 9
Nov 6, 2023
Dear Diary,
After the exhilaration of that night wore down, I reverted to the state that was becoming increasingly familiar- profound ambivalence. It was one thing to become a smoker- in many ways that had reduced my anxiety and boosted my academic performance. Becoming a "teen alcoholic" was something else entirely. Most of my applications were due by January 1st. I had been preparing my whole life for this, and this was crunch time. I needed to be firing on all cylinders.
On the other hand, Frank's reward was irresistible to me. Since I was a little girl, I had dreamt of my prince sweeping me off my feet and sharing a romantic kiss with my one true love. I used to think that was William. Now I knew with every fiber of my being that Frank was my prince and I was his princess. I could not foreclose on the possibility of being with the one person I knew was my soulmate.
My twin goals appeared at first glance mutually exclusive. How could I maintain my straight A valedictorian status AND be an alcoholic? I brought the full weight of my intellect to bear on this, and discovered a possible solution. If I drank more heavily on the weekends, I could develop a tolerance so that I could drink marginally less during the week and still be functional. Frank didn't say what time I needed to start drinking, so I figured I could start right after school before extracurriculars. If my tolerance was high enough, hopefully I wouldn't embarrass myself too much.
I was nervous to test my theory. Ordinarily this was the day I volunteered my services as a "Safe Ride". There was no way I could do that if I planned on drinking. I really wanted to go to Trevor's party. And Safe Rides was usually my only pretext for attending. Maybe Candace was going? The problem was I highly doubted she would be sober. And I would be way too embarrassed to call Safe Rides for myself. Maybe I shouldn't bother. I had a ton of studying to do anyway.
When I got home from my "sleepover" with Candace, Mom was busy cooking my favorite- French toast. It smelled delicious!! I loved my mom so much!! I snuck up behind her to give her a big hug!!
"Good morning, sweetheart! How was Ashley's?" she greeted me warmly.
Ashley? What was she talking about? Then I remembered, I'd lied to her about staying at Candace's. My mom would definitely not approve of someone like Candace.
"Uh, she's good. She says hi," I lied. I felt guilty lying to my mom.
"She's such a lovely girl," my mom said sweetly. I bet she'd change her tune if she knew how slutty she'd been acting recently.
"Yeah.." I said awkwardly.
"So any big plans this weekend?" she asked. My mom always wanted to know everything that was going on with me. Although I sometimes pretended to be annoyed by this, secretly I loved to have a mom who cared about me so much.
"I don't know.. There's a party I was gonna go to, but I'm way behind with studying and college apps so I think I'll just stay home and work on that," I said regretfully.
"Oh honey. You've got plenty of time to do that. This is precious time to spend with your friends. Once you go to college, you may never see some of these people again," my mom replied, giving me a shoulder massage.
I felt a twinge of sadness thinking about this. Would I really keep in touch with Emily and Carter when I was in college? What about Candace? Would we be long distance? It made me sad to think about being separated from her.
"Wow! I hadn't thought about it in those terms before," I said thoughtfully.
"Some of my biggest regrets in life are not being fully present in the moment when I was in high school. I was so obsessed with grades and SATs and college I never really lived. If I had a Time Machine, I would... Oh never mind, honey. What's done is done," she said with a melancholy in her eyes I'd never seen before.
I was shocked! My mom always seemed so proud of all of her accomplishments. I never knew she harbored such deep seated regrets. Since I was little, I tried to copy all of her life choices. Maybe I was right to be striking a different balance.
"Well I'm just so happy you met Dad and became my mom. I'm so lucky to have you," I said.
"Oh sweetheart. That is one thing I have no regrets about. You are everything a mother could ever hope for." We hugged again and I finished my French toast.
"Now go to that party and have a wonderful time. That's an order from your mother!"
"Okay mom," I said, rolling my eyes. I skipped off to my room and texted Candace.
Me: Are you going to Trevor's party?
Candace: ya duh
Me: I would go, but I don't have a date 😔
Candace: wtv ur my date
Me: Yay!! 👏👏 When shall I expect you?
Candace: idk 7?
Me: And how will we get back? Will you be drinking?
Candace: idk chill bruh
Me: Sounds great! I'm looking forward to seeing you!! 😘😘
Candace: kk
Candace and I were a study in contrasts. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake my Type A overachiever energy. Maybe my mom was right. I did need to get out more.
I spent hours getting ready. This was my first time attending as Candace's girlfriend. My choice of outfit needed to fit her vibe. I went with my shortest, tightest shorts that showed off half my ass cheeks and a halter top that looked more like a skimpy bikini top. I finished it off with my strappy, open toed heels.The only thing that looked like 'Abigail' were my glasses. I'd never dared to wear anything this provocative out in public before, even for a party. But being Candace's girlfriend made me feel safe and protected.
Candace blared her horn when she arrived, and I scurried out. She looked me up and down in an objectifying manner as I stood by the door. "You're fucking hot," she leered. I took her in. As always, she looked like an actual prostitute. Then it struck me. We were wearing almost the exact same outfit! I opened the door and got in. "You're not so bad yourself," I said, flirtatiously caressing her arm. We looked at each other, and squealed together, "Twinsies!!!". I reflected on how my opinions about Candace had changed so dramatically since we first met. She had become one of my favorite people.
When we arrived, I was nervous to see Trevor. As always, I lit up a cigarette to calm my nerves. Candace rang the doorbell, and I clung to her. Trevor's familiar cocky smirk turned to a look of shocked disbelief when he saw us. We looked like a couple of cheap hookers.
"Ladies, ladies! Come in, come in!" he said, leering at both of us.
"Who called for Safe Rides tonight?" he asked me.
"No one. I'm here with my girlfriend," I said proudly, leaning into Candace.
"And what does your boyfriend think of this arrangement?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"He doesn't know about it. He also doesn't know he's not my boyfriend anymore. I'd appreciate your discretion in the matter," I replied.
"Your secret's safe with me, babe," he said, swatting me on the ass.
"Thank you," I said shyly.
"Drinks?" he asked, suggestively.
