The first thing I saw when my eyes fluttered open was Arlene, big and blonde and brassy as usual.
"Go pee, Cammie," she said, smiling, "and then right back so Auntie Arlene can give you what you need."
I rolled out of bed, walked into the bathroom, and sat.
I was done crying. The urge satisfied, I was myself again.
And God help me, I was horny.
I wiped and then washed my hands carefully.
I looked in the mirror, deliberately seeing my face with a stranger's semen crusted on it. I did not wash it. I would wear the mess on my face like Hester Prynne's Scarlet Letter, to show my shame, to announce to the world how vile and despicable I am.
Arlene was holding her arms out as I walked into the bedroom and DAMN she looked good.
I'm not a lesbian, I swear I'm not.
Hell, I'm not even bisexual or pansexual or non-binary or whatever the fuck the phrase
de jour
is.
But what I have with Arlene is special.
And she looked so goddam sexy laying there like that, the sheet casually draped across those big hips, just a hint of that thick, curly, pale brown pubic hair of hers peeking out, those big boobs of hers, drops of her milk forming since she kept pumping so she would lactate - she said men liked them that way - and that "come here, Baby" smile on her face.
I put my best "poor little me" smile on my face, looked down at the floor, and started making little semicircles with my toes.
"And what would you have of me?" I asked in my best little girl voice.
"I would have you get that educated mouth where it belongs," she said, tossing the sheet aside and parting her legs.
I smiled.
"God, I love you," I said, "if I wasn't so damn happily married, I'd switch to the other team."
"Whoa there, Sluterella," she said, "what we have is special but that don't mean I'm about to give up dick."
She laughed, that wonderful belly laugh of hers, pulled her knees back until they touched her nipples, and said, "Now, gimme."
So, I gave her.
Arlene is one of those real blondes. Now, I won't vouch that genetics have prevented any hint of grey in that thick honey-blonde hair. Honestly, I kind of expect that Miss Clairol or, more likely, something much more expensive, was involved in that. But Arlene is the real deal, one of those blondes with a bazillion hair follicles per square inch and, more to the point, a very fine down pretty much everywhere. Her pubic hair is light brown, very thick, and very curly. One summer when we went natural, the hair in her armpits was the same, thick, curly, and light brown.
She's big, full-figured is the polite term and, in her case, it's accurate. Those ridiculous boobs of hers are a legitimate EE cup and she overflows those bras, and she has flaring hips and a muffin top. She's "Rubenesque" in the best sense of the word with a bubble butt even better than anything old Paul ever came up with.
She's never been pregnant and it shows between her legs.
Okay, I'm jealous, I'll admit it.
When our on-again, off-again relationship started as Freshman roommates, neither of us had been pregnant. But now, after I had delivered my 9-pound, 7-ounce son vaginally, whenever I looked in the mirror while getting dressed I couldn't stop the word "labiaplasty" from sneaking into my mind as I looked at my
labia minora
, the delicate pink inner lips, dangling loose between my upper thighs, hanging from my thigh gap.
Arlene, on the other hand, looked just like she had back when we were both in our 20s. Her labia was full and plump, that thick curly pubic hair framing it like a carefully coiffed afro, and the inner lips peeked out just a tiny bit, looking like, well, lips.
I bent, blew softly, and kissed them.
I sat back on my heels, smiled, and asked, "Did you bring it?"
She smiled and said, "You know I did. In my bag."
I climbed out of bed, opened her oversized Dooney and Bourke canvas messenger bag, and started rummaging through the womanjunk we all accumulate in our purses.
Down at the bottom, I found what I was looking for.
I smiled and said, "Hold that thought," and went into the bathroom.
In the sink, I carefully washed the "strapless strapon," giggling as I remembered the time we had visited the "Adult" store, you know the one, they're all over the place with the big square yellow signs with red letters proclaiming "Adult Entertainment," and had bought the thing. It was a dildo, of course, flesh-colored and big. Not ridiculously huge. We had looked at some of them but opted for this one, a quite convincing of a white male's erect penis done at about 125 percent scale. Behind the carefully sculpted eight inches of erection, a gently arched wedge, another three inches long, had two, two-inch long probes, each with a little bulb on the end.
I dried it then, paying particular attention to the two probes, and started putting it on. Well, putting it
in
I suppose is a better way to put it.
I squatted slightly and slipped the rearmost probe into my pussy, lubricating it with my natural love honey, and then inserted it into my anus. As it started stretching me I levered the strapon up a bit, taking the front probe vaginally. Then came the awkward part. I reached between my legs, far back, and began squeezing the little bulb built into the back end of the strapon. It felt much like when I would squeeze the Schnauzer's toy, making little squeaking sounds.
And the bulb in my rectal vault, past those strong sphincter muscles, started inflating, locking the strapless strapon into place.
When I was sure it was secure, and getting a bit of that deliciously full feeling rush that was so much of what I always enjoyed about anal sex, I started on the front pump.
There was that delightful pressure as the bulb expanded, pushing against my cervix and uterus. My vaginal muscles aren't as strong or as naturally contracted as my anal sphincter. Hell, no woman's is. But the bulb was expanding past them and helping stabilize the strapon.
Satisfied, I turned and looked at myself in the mirror.
As always happened when I wear that thing, I understood the concept of "penis envy." Part of it was the look, of course, but a good part of it was the physical sensation. The solid plastic, something soft but firm, had enough weight that I had to alter my posture just a little for balance. When I did that, the probe in my ass moved slightly as the dildo pivoted on the fulcrum of my pussy. The sensation sent little jolts of electricity from between my legs to my nipples.
Arlene was smiling as I walked back into the bedroom.
"How did it happen?" she asked, "that my big ass is so
femme
while tiny little you turns out to be the Butch in our couple."