Note from author: This is the first part of a short series - this instalment is paced accordingly.
I'm still very new to this and would very much welcome constructive feedback. Enjoy :)
It would be true to say that Becca Jones ruined me for every other woman that might follow. And I can't say I wasn't warned.
'She'll be the ruin of you, lad,' Max said, in a little more than a whisper. Becca was out in the kitchen talking loudly into her mobile while she paced. That was Becca, loud, insistent, unrelenting, as if she was in constant dispute with the world. But her eyes - my god, her eyes - brilliant green, restless, and alive with something both terrible and magnificent.
And I just could not get enough. Whatever else, Becca Jones had me from the first.
Becca swept into the room, mobile pressed to her ear and waved her hand towards me, a gesture of either affection or distain. I could not tell. I shuffled to make room on the couch beside me. She turned, her denim short-shorts pulled tight and riding low. She turned, her top button unfastened revealing tummy, her belly button, the sparkle of her piercing poised lewdly above where her pink panties peeked. She pulled half-chewed gum away from her cherry lips, snapped it back, and then slumped down next to Max.
Next to Max, not me.
'Tosser,' she said, under her breath, not caring that whoever was at the other end of the phone could not help but hear. She leaned back, her fingers absent-mindedly walking the distance from Max's thigh to his knee. She let her hand rest there, her engagement ring - the one she'd picked out and I'd worked all summer to afford - caught the light and then chased it across the ceiling.
Max leaned away from her and towards me, 'She'll ruin you, lad. And don't say I didn't warn you.'
'Oh, do ignore him,' Becca said, phone now tucked beneath her chin, hand against his shoulder then back to his thigh. She'd painted her nails electric pink - to match her panties - and scratched at his leg playfully. 'You're just jealous,' but she said it to Max, not to me.
And it was true. Max had warned me, 'She'll ruin you if you let her'. Kenny called her a man-eater. 'She's more woman that you can live with,' he said, 'She'll eat you alive.'
And Katie - we'd come out to Uni together, I'd known her since primary school - told it straightest of all, 'She's a conniving bitch. You better watch out.'
But I didn't care. It was love at first sight and feral compulsion until the last.
First semester, a seminar on post-war theatre, and she was sat there, right there, two rows down and to the right. The lecturer droned, all fifty of us frantically scribbling notes, but Becca was somewhere else, somewhere better, somewhere beyond.
Becca Jones: playing with her hair, natural blonde with a shock of electric pink accents, a loose strand twisting and twisting around her little finger. Becca Jones: tonguing her lip ring as she gazed out through the window, seeing the world - not as it was, but as she wanted it to be. Becca Jones: picking at the place where her ink-black meshed stockings had begun to gape, lolling like a mouth, exposing porcelain white flesh beneath.
She was out of my league. I didn't need Max, Kenny, Jamie, or anyone else to tell me that. I'd only been with one girl and just one time. Mary Dunne, a week after we'd finished high school. She'd invited me over to go through college applications. At the time, I thought it weird that she'd ask me. We didn't know each other that well.
I remember making small talk with her Dad and her kid brother while she whispered and giggled with her older sister out in the hallway. Later, she took me to her brother's room. I never really understood why she did that: not her room, but his, and she kissed me. But it was a half-hearted thing, my lips were too dry and she wasn't really into it. I then overcompensated and tried my tongue, like I'd seen in the movies, only I was too sloppy and she was assuredly not into that. I knew she wasn't into it, because she told me. 'Disappointing,' she said, with a screw of her lips as if someone had force-fed her something suspect and sour.
She fumbled with my belt and I watched her like a stupid, knowing that I should help, or do something, but instead, frozen in place, my soul shrivelling down to nothing. She fumbled with my belt, but then made it, looking up through hooded eyes with something like disapproval. I could tell she wasn't into this and for some reason that was the thought the caused my cock to twitch and swell.
Shame and desire. Desire and shame.
She popped the button loose, and then unzipped my jeans. Mary Dunne was my first kiss and now she looked bored. She pulled my boxers loose and my four and a half inches - probably as hard as I've ever been - sprung free.
'Disappointing,' but it didn't need to be said. She had an expressive face.
She lay back on her brother's carpet, and pulled her skirt up a little, but not quite enough to reveal her knickers. I thought I might very much like to see her knickers. She was looking away and to the door as if hoping that rescue might come if she just willed it hard enough.
I stood watching her.
'For fuck sake,' she said, and I realised that she had been waiting for me. I felt myself redden with the thought of it, her disappointment, my ineptitude, my shame, her regret. I felt myself redden, but my cock was dripping. She wiped a dribble off her shin and against the carpet with a look of disgust.
She pulled me down, at first beside her and I leaned in to kiss her mouth. She turned away and I instead found the knot of her hair. It smelt just like the carpet. My cock was rigid, maybe as hard as I have ever been and she reached for it - but it was an absentminded gesture. She hesitated, her eyes flitting to me and away, before changing her mind.
Instead, she knelt, framed against the Star Wars poster bluetacked against her brother's wall. It occurred to me that her head perfectly filled the space occupied by Princess Leia and I smiled. She rolled her eyes and then drew down her knickers, plain, white, ordinary knickers, all said and done. Those same knickers caught at her knees and she eased to the right and then to the left before pulling them free. As she straddled me, I noticed that the top lefthand corner of the poster had come loose and flapped.
She lowered herself onto my cock but missed at the first attempt and I instead pushed up through the cleft of her ass. 'Fuck sake,' she muttered, but to herself. Second time she held me at the base, sank down, removed and then wiped her hand against my t-shirt. I could feel my cock swell against her abrasive tightness and I was a virgin no longer.
She rocked forward, me with a whimper, her with a grunt before pulling off and away.
'Too dry,' she said, spat into her hand, rubbed it on my cock. She spat again and rubbed it on her pussy. Her skirt hitched to her waist, her pussy unruly with curls of dark black hair. She bore up again and I shuddered, worried that I might let go and spoil it all. This time I slid in easier and she was warm and tight and gripped me like a clenched fist.
'God,' I said, and she hushed me.
'You can touch my tits if you want,' she said indifferently. I reached up and groped her through her jumper, not really feeling anything other than the sheen of her cotton t-shirt and the shape of her padded bra. She sighed with something like disappointment, before beginning to rock, forward and back, lifting herself a little and then pushing back down, as if she were getting into it. Or trying to get it over with. I flushed again, knowing that she wasn't into this at all and that she was only doing this now because of obligation, or because it was easier to finish than to stop.