Preface
"Ashley," he said, holding both of my hands, "we need to talk."
I started crying. I mean, what woman hasn't heard those words as a prelude to, "it's over." And I didn't want it to be over. I was still in love with my husband. I worked hard to look good for him. I kept a good house and I thought I kept him happy. But there it was, the dreaded phrase.
To make things worse, I am not pretty when I cry. I know there are women who can pull it off. But I'm not one of them. I turned away so he wouldn't see how my nose had swollen, my eyes were puffy, my nose was running. I'm not pretty when I cry not that I'm ever really pretty.
He had released my hands and put his on my shoulders, turning me to face him.
When I didn't look up he did that two fingers under the chin thing all men seem to know how to do from about puberty and lifted my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes.
"What in the world is wrong?" he asked.
"I don't," and then I broke down again.
He pulled me to him, only adding to my shame as I felt snot and tears soaking his shirt.
"It's okay," he said, "Dave's here, I've got you."
He went on like that in a soft voice, calming me, gentling me almost as he would a frightened fawn or something.
Finally, I cried myself out.
"I don't want to lose you," I said into his chest, not looking up.
He started laughing then, and my sorrow was instantly replaced with anger.
"What!?" I yelled, "you think it's funny."
He wrapped me tightly in a bear hug. I guess he knew my next move would be to hit him.
"Honey," he said, his laughter under control but still talking around chuckles, "what in the world made you think you would lose me?"
I leaned back and looked up at him then.
"'We need to talk' always means that," I said.
"Well," he said, "not this time."
"Really?" I said, wiping my nose with my arm.
He chuckled and kissed me, snot slick lips and all. When he broke the kiss a silver string connected us until it broke.
"Yes," he said, "really. Now come over here and sit with me."
He went to the couch and I started to sit next to him but he held up his hand in the universal "stop" signal and said, "lay down honey, with your head in my lap."
So I started to lay on my belly, thinking he wanted oral sex, and he laughed again.
"No baby," he said, "on your back so I can see that pretty face."
I turned my face away almost automatically but he reached out, cat-quick from all of those hours he had spent in a karate dojo, grabbed my hand, and pulled me down.
I laid my head in his lap and closed my eyes when he started caressing my forehead and brushing my hair back.
"Ashley," he said, his voice soft and low, "I have no intention of leaving you. I love you. You should know that."
He stroked my hair and my forehead more and I managed, "I know but....."
He touched his finger to my lips, shushing me.
"But we do need to talk," he said and I felt that sudden rush of weakness in my legs from an adrenaline rush.
"Okay," I managed, meeting his eyes.
"Ashley," he said, his fingertips caressing my cheeks, "what can I do to get you to stop dieting?"
It was so unexpected I was speechless. All I could manage was, "huh?"
"Honey," he said, "I've watched you for seven years now and you're always worried about your weight. I've seen you pass up things I know you enjoy, and I've heard you in the bathroom when you don't think I'm awake with your feather throwing up. You're unhappy, and I don't want you to be unhappy. It's that simple." He was smiling and stroking my hair as he talked.
"But," I started and again he touched his finger to my lips.
"Look at me," he said, smiling. "I'm easy on the eyes. I'm a bit of a savant when it comes to spotting market trends and I've made ridiculous amounts of money. I'm a catch. Don't you think if I wanted a skinny woman I could have had one?"
"I'm always surprised you chose me," I managed.
Again he chuckled.
"And I'm always surprised you said yes," he said.
"David," I started but he put his finger on my lips once again.
"Ashley," he said, smiling down at me and tickling my face lightly with his fingertips, "I told the folks at the office they're on their own from now on. I'm retired and I'm devoting my life to taking care of you.
"David," I said, and this time he didn't stop me, "are you serious?"
"Oh yeah," he said, chuckling, "what's the point of making all that money if I can't enjoy it."
I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face.