As any parent knows, the most difficult part about being a parent is letting go. No phase in childhood lasts forever, for better or worse. But all parents must accept that their babies will grow up eventually, whether they are ready for it or not. All parents, it seems, except for me. Growing up, my Abigail was off the charts brilliant when it came to anything intellectual. However, maybe she missed other critical developmental milestones. Was I derelict in my duty as a mother? Maybe her intellectual regression was actually a net positive for her overall happiness? Or was I just rationalizing the fact that I was grooming my own daughter to make myself more attractive to my crush who was barely older than she was?
I quickly put that unpleasant thought out of mind, as it dawned on me that as the mother of an 18 year old girl with the mind of a little kid I had an enormous responsibility. I needed to take care of her nutritional, hygienic, and educational needs. While she was at school, I went on a shopping blitz. I started by going to Babies 'R Us for the essentials- bibs, wipes, sippy cups, and even diapers- just in case. Then I went to a toy store to make sure she had plenty of toys, games, and stuffed animals. Next, I went to a bookstore to be sure there were plenty of books to read at her intellectual level- Dr Seuss, Berenstain Bears, and Dick and Jane among others. Finally, I bought her some clothes that would be more appropriate for someone with her limited intellect- lots of small tops with her favorite cartoon characters, overalls, cute little dresses, bows, and princess merch of all kinds.
When I got home, I carefully organized all of the new purchases. I hung the new clothes in her closet and put her new books on her bookcase, removing the great literature that had been there before. I put her diapers and wipes in my closet, to be sure she didn't get into them. And I filled up her sippy cup from the previous day with more wine to be sure she was in the right frame of mind. I busied myself picking up the house as I waited eagerly for her to come home from school...
Entry 11
November 8, 2023
Dear Diary,
When I woke up the next day there was a wet puddle underneath me. My sheets were completely soaked!! My eyes widened in horror as I realized what had happened. I had wet myself during the night!! I was so wasted I didn't even realize what was happening. I looked at the clock. It was 9:30 again. Shit!! I missed Ms Baker's class yet again! I showered, put on some makeup, found a tube top and a miniskirt, lit up a cigarette, and sped off to school.
Mr Plews was blabbing on again. He was so old I feared a gentle breeze might do him in. "Blah, blah, blah," he droned. I thought about yesterday. Everything was so surreal. One moment I was bonding with my mom having an intelligent conversation about my life. The next moment, I was having a temper tantrum, drinking out of a sippy cup, wearing "jammies" that were several sizes too small, and watching a show meant for little kids as if it were a Steven Hawking lecture. Still, there was no denying how comforted I felt by my mom. I was changing so fast so quickly. I needed someone in my life to just take care of me.
Unconsciously, my fingers found my pussy. It was only then that I realized that in my great haste to get to school, I had completely forgotten to wear underwear! I quickly covered myself up. This was so humiliating! I needed to be sure to keep my skirt as low as possible all day. How could I be so out of it? It was dawning on me that there were serious consequences to being a teen alcoholic.
"Blah, blah, blah," the dinosaur droned on. My mind turned to Frank- my soulmate. I realized I was very close to completing my assignment. I had been completely wasted for 4 days in a row. All I needed to do was try one additional drug, which I could get pretty easily from Enrico, and sleep with one more person. That would be very easy now that I had a new boyfriend. I might be a little more liberal about some things, but I was still old fashioned when it came to "going all the way". We would need to be in a committed relationship. If Trevor and I had a fun date on Friday, I might be ready for my reward on Saturday. Eeeek!!!
I was still mostly keeping up with my academics, with the exception of Ms Baker's AP English Lit. Also, I was relying on Henry to get me through Calculus.
"Blah, blah, please pass forward your homework to the front," the old man drawled. I winked at Henry, who opened his notebook to reveal two perfectly, I assumed, completed assignments. As a reward, I lifted my skirt ever so slightly to reveal my exposed pussy. He visibly shivered, as he turned them in.
My next class was AP Gov. I was very nervous to see Ashley again after bullying her with my friends. Had I gone too far? Did she really deserve that? "Hey," I said shyly. "Hey," she said back without making eye contact. "Listen, I.."
"Good morning, class," Mr Gadley interrupted. "Today we will be debating the recent Dobbs decision." Of course Ashley's hand was immediately in the air- in an effort to come on to my boyfriend, no doubt.
"This will go down in history as one of the most vile and insidious decisions in American history. It is tragic to think that Abigail and I will grow up in a world with fewer rights than our mothers and grandmothers enjoyed," she said piously, looking to me for support. So much for giving her another chance. She was an unrepentant slut who deserved everything she got.
My boyfriend raised his hand confidently.
"Didn't your mother and grandmother teach you about personal responsibility? You do have choice. If you make the choice to get yourself knocked up, you need to live with the consequences," God, he was so hot. I wouldn't mind letting him knock me up. I bet our kids would be hot too. I felt my pussy moisten.
"And what about personal responsibility for the man? Should they be able to spread their seed wherever they want without consequences?" Ashley flirted back. I imagined a bunch of random guys spreading their seed in me. In the absence of underwear, my pussy juice began to leak onto my chair.
"Hey, I didn't create men and women. I think your beef is with God," he rebutted. What a hunk! I was so proud of my man, I wanted him to know I had his back. I discreetly lifted up my skirt so he could see my pussy. Ashley happened to glance over too. Her face recoiled in horror at what she was witnessing. I just gave her a big smile.
Ashley shook her head, cleared her throat and continued, "Let me make sure I am absolutely clear what your position is. Guys should be able to screw whomever they want, and if a woman gets pregnant it's just tough luck."
Trevor shrugged.
"And what about women who have been impregnated from rape and incest? Should they be forced to bear the child?" she continued. I imagined being impregnated by rape or incest. I was so wet, my chair was like a puddle.
"Makes no difference to the unborn child," he said.
"You don't care about unborn children. You just want to control women!!" she said. I'd let Trevor control me.
It was time for me to join in the fun. "Life begins at conception and the government has a vested interest in protecting all life."
"If you care about life so much, are you at all concerned that the states with the highest maternal mortality rates are the same ones that ban abortion?" Ashley countered.
"Last time I checked the government never forced them to hook up with anyone. Like Trevor said, personal responsibility," I pushed back. Mic drop.
Again- radio silence. For the second day in a row, I owned that lib.
At the end of the class, Trevor slapped my bare ass, put his arm around me, and we walked off hand in hand leaving Ashley with her mouth agape.
At lunch, I saw the nerds sitting together- William, Henry, and Ashley. I saw Ashley talking to William with tears streaming down her face. If she tried to tell on me, I'd tell William and Henry how she was shamelessly flirting with Trevor every day and how she was clearly projecting her obvious attraction onto me.
I sat outside smoking with my real friends. I greeted Candace with a full mouth kiss. "Ew," smirked Emily. Carter lit up a joint. I stared at him. I couldn't believe people actually smoked marijuana in school! Emily caught me staring.
"What's the matter- never see anyone get high before?" Emily teased.
"Uh, of course I have," I answered quickly. It was a bald-faced lie. No one in my prior crowd ever did drugs. In fact, in elementary school, Ashley, Emily, and I were the Treasurer, Vice-President, and President respectively of our school's DARE group to promote kids staying away from drugs.
"You ever try it yourself?" she pursued. There was no point in continuing the charade. They would find out soon enough.
"I've been too busy with all my drinking and smoking," I answered, trying to sound cool.
The girls laughed, and Carter let out a "heh heh,". Even Enrico's lips turned slightly.
"Well you don't look too busy now," Emily said. I really did not want to be drunk or high at school, but I also really wanted to fit in with my new friends.
