As much as I hated to admit it, maternity clothes made sense for my figure.
I mean, extra stretchy fabric to accommodate my growing belly? Hell yeah!
But what was more important was that the clothes looked just like regular clothes! I was worried it would be obvious that the clothes were from a maternity store, but no, they were really discreet.
I might come here more often.
Everything went well until the cashier asked how far along I was and my mother burst into laughter. I almost ran away.
My phone vibrated, a text from Becca with her impeccable timing. 'Hey, I really don't feel like going home, can we hang out?'
'Sure, where do you want to meet?' I quickly typed back.
'Sitting in the library...'
'Cool, I'll be there in 15 minutes.'
"Are you coming?" My mom asked, waiting next to the car.
"Mom, I'm gonna go hang out with Becca. Would you mind dropping me at the library?"
"Thanks for the clothes and everything. See ya!"
The library was huge. While I was coming here pretty regularly, it always amazed me just how many books were there in one place.
Due to the sheer size of the place it took me a minute to find Becca reading in the corner. Becca read a lot. Sometimes I almost forgot what a bookworm she was. She usually wasn't too difficult to find in the library, you could always bet there would be a group of salivating teenage boys ogling her.
Sometimes it has its perks to be fat and ugly.
I thought bitterly. I shook my head.
What is wrong with me today? I know I'm not ugly. I'm no Becca, sure, but she's an eleven out of ten! And getting more beautiful by the day...
Seeing her sitting there with her tits spilling out of her top filled me with unfamiliar envy.
"I see you've got yourself a pack of admirers." I said once I got to her.
"Huh, what?" She raised her eyes and spotted the horny teenagers who immediately turned around, being as inconspicuous as polar bears in the Sahara. "Oh. Why does it keep happening to me?"
"Because you're hot as hell, sweetheart. It's that simple."
She blinked a couple times as if she heard it for the first time in her life and then she shrugged. "I've got tits, that's it."
I was astonished. "Are you really that oblivious?! You're gorgeous! I've never even seen anyone prettier than you!" I had to bite my tongue to silence myself, worried I would reveal my feelings for her.
Becca frowned. "You're kidding, right?"
"I've never been more serious in my life." Becca did struggle with her self-confidence, I knew that, but that was years ago! I never would have guessed she had such a distorted view of herself...
Becca shook her head and poked her softish middle. "I'm kinda fat, you know?"
I shrugged. "Who the hell cares?! You've seen how the guys in class reacted to you."
"I thought they were just mocking me." Becca said, shrugging.
Now it was time for me to shake my head. "When I'm with you I feel invisible, because everybody else is looking at you." I let out a sad laugh. "I like it that way, most of the time."
I sat down heavily onto the chair opposite to her, but I miscalculated and my belly smacked painfully against the desk of the table forcing a loud 'umph' out of my mouth. "
This
is what fat really looks like." I breathed out, rubbing the hurting part of my belly.
"Can't argue with that." Becca giggled. "Listen, I know it's kinda late for a lunch, but I haven't eaten yet. Would you like to grab something with me?"
Goddamit Liz! No thanks, I've already eaten. Would it be so hard?!
I cursed myself, cradling my overstuffed gut.
I'm never going to get my weight under control if I continue like this. Then again, to see Kurt's face when he sees me in this state...
I still haven't decided what to do, still weighing the positives and negatives.
"Liz, are you alright?" Becca asked when we were walking to my dad's flat.
"Yeah, I guess... I'm gonna be anyway. Why do you ask?"
"It's just... you're just a lot quieter than you usually are..."
"Today was kinda rough on me... I'll be fine, don't worry."
"Can I ask you something?" Becca asked after a few seconds of contemplation.
"Of course, you can ask me anything."
"I- it's kinda awkward. I- uh... What is it like to be so, uh, you know..."