Her voice behind me in line at Starbucks was totally unexpected. "Charley? Charley Botswan, is that you?"
I turned around. The coffee shop was busy. It was situated on the corner of two of the busiest streets in downtown Washington, with streams of pedestrians on both sides of each street, pouring across the intersection on the diagonal then the lights turned green. Large electronic billboards flashed on all sides, this was like our little Times Square. There were a dozen people behind me but it only took a second to spot Christina's smiling face, her hand waving to catch my eye.
It had been a long time. Years. We were quite the hot secret for a few months, and then kids and jobs and other duties intervened, and I moved to another part of town. My career took off, both our marriages took all our attention, and we lost touch. But here she was and man, she still looked good. She was a tiny thing with horn-rimmed glasses, a V-neck sweater, your basic middle-class mom but I knew better. "Wow, Christina," I said, "Let's order and then why don't you come sit with me, we can catch up a little."
I got my latte and found a seat in my favorite corner. There were a couple of thick wooden beams behind the row of chairs, and big picture windows on both sides that looked out over the bustling urban scene. I pulled into a seat and watched some young guys on the sidewalk beating on buckets, a sort of percussion orchestra -- it might be a DC thing. Government guys in ties and jackets, government ladies in heels and fashionable work suits, scraggly-ass hustlers, Chinese chefs, kids ditching school floated past the windows, a sort of aquarium view of the city I live in.
Christina settled in beside me and looked me over. "My god," she said, "Look at you. I wasn't sure it was you at first."
I laughed. "A lot of people say that."
"How much have you lost? That's got to be fifty pounds," she said, with her usual blunt approach.
"Fifty-five, actually," I said.
"Wow," she said again, looking me up and down. She had that same sparkly-eyed quality; life was overflowing in her. Sometimes it got her into trouble but she was so innocently vivacious that she could always talk her way out of things. I had met her husband a few times, and he was, obviously, the most patient man in the world. "How did you do it?" she asked me.
"Huh, what do you think?" I joked. "I didn't eat for a year."
She laughed heartily. "Yeah, that'll do it. No, I mean really. You can't just 'not eat.'"
"A lot of it was attitude, fantasy, picturing myself in a better body."
"I see," she said. "So you pictured yourself like this?"
I was dressed for the office, slacks, dress shirt, tie. I looked down at myself and laughed. "No, not really." See, that's how she is, she gets you off-balance and pretty soon you are partners in some adventure. I knew she wouldn't miss her cue.
"So how did you picture yourself?"
I paused, took a sip of coffee, looked out at the urban aquarium. Christina and I had had a few wild weeks and I know we parted with deep fondness for one another. I knew I could talk to her but honestly I had never discussed this with anyone. Usually it was enough just to explain how I had changed my diet, nobody really wanted to know more.
"Hmm, I don't know if I can explain this," I said. "It's actually kind of embarrassing."
"Oh boy," Christina said cheerfully. "Tell me. I want to hear it all."
"It's not much," I said. "But ... I don't know if I can explain this. A few years ago I read a story, a dumb story. It was about a guy who was skinny-dipping in the ocean and the tide took him out and, wouldn't you know, given the kind of story it was, he was rescued by a yacht full of beautiful women."
Christina rolled her eyes. "God, you haven't changed a bit, have you. Once a pervert, always a pervert."
We sipped our coffee and laughed. It was nice. Christina was firm and petite and friendly, and I felt I could share my secret with her.
"Yeah, right, huh? Well in this story the guy doesn't want to spend all day on the yacht naked, so one of the ladies gives him a little pair of pink panties to wear. And so that's what he wears on the yacht. Of course the women take turns taking advantage of him, you can guess the rest."
"Sure, very imaginative story," she laughed, her eyes sparkling. "Guy rescued by a boatload of horny women. It took a lot to think of that."
"Yes, well," I said, and paused. "It was a dumb story."
"Yeah, so you decided to lose weight because you read a story?"
"Yes, actually, it had a lot to do with it," I said, looking around. Our corner looked out at the street but was private within the bustling coffee shop, blocked by those beams. "The thing was, I pictured myself in some pink panties and, I don't know what to say, it disgusted me. You want to be a sexy kinda paradoxical pervert, attracting all these hot chicks, and when I pictured it I just saw a fat guy, looking ridiculous and pitiful."
"So you decided to change."
"Yes. I bookmarked that story and re-read it every couple of weeks, and I cut down on breakfast and lunch, took one serving for dinner, quit drinking."
"Quit drinking? Wow," she said. "That must have been hard."
"Well I didn't really quit-quit, I just cut back a whole lot. I'd go weeks at a time with no booze. It was not a big deal, nobody even noticed."
She was still looking me up and down. Christina, since you don't know her I'll tell you, was the embodiment of mischief. People live by the rules, they do what they are supposed to do, but for Christina, as long as I'd known her, this just provided a sort of stage-set or background for her, she could dodge in and out of their conformist landscape. People saw her as one of them, a normal little wife and mother, but when they weren't looking she had no boundaries. And a vivid, very active imagination.
"So," she asked. "How did it feel when you finally tried on those panties?"
"Huh?" She had me there. "Oh the panties, I guess I wouldn't even know where to get some. I didn't really want to wear them, that was just a kind of target for me."
"Sure" she said. "I'll tell you what." She pointed out at the row of shops across the street. "Victoria's Secret, lets go, my treat."
"No, no," I insisted. "I don't need anything."
"Well it can be like a trophy for you, an award for losing all this weight. I mean, look at you. You can frame 'em and hang 'em on the wall as a reminder. This is amazing. Come on."
Christina picked up her empty cup and slid off her stool. She held her hand out to me and I took it. Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.
It was stupid, but I had an erection the whole time we were in Victoria's Secret. And let me tell you a secret about fat guys. When I weighed two-twenty-five my dick was about three inches long. Most of it was buried in layers of fat. It would sometimes do this thing where it turns inside out, and I would have to dig it out again with my fingers. When I peed it would splatter all over the floor because the blubber pushed everything into the wrong place. But now I was actually slender, lean, and not exceptionally hung but a little bit on the bigger side of normal. The way I used to be in my twenties. So when I got a hard-on in the lingerie store there was some real pressure in my slacks.
Christina walked me through the bins. My waist was thirty inches now, which is large for a lady. I could not believe all the styles they had. We kept coming back to these little "boyshorts," that were not too tiny, but there was not much fabric there. They were slick silk. Christina, remembering my story, found a pink pair with little ruffles around the edges and a little bow in the front. She told the salesgirl they were for her sister but held them up to me to see how they would fit. She clerk smirked and Christina said, "He's about the same size as her."
"Sure," the salesgirl said, not believing a word of it.
We left the store with a paper bag with the Victoria's Secret logo all over it. I had to go back to work so I threw away the bag and stuffed the panties into my pocket.
"I can hardly wait to see these on you," Christina said.
"I don't see how that will happen," I said. Our affair had been at least six years earlier, and I did not see either one of us trying to start it up again.
"You're not going to come over and model them for me?" she teased.
"No, I don't think that is a good idea."
She took my arm as we walked, just like in the old days. It was fun looking in the shop windows, watching the crazy people of the city. "I've got an idea," she said. "You remember my sisters. Well these days, since mom died and Joey died -- did I tell you my husband died? -- the three sisters have been getting together once a month, we take turns hosting a little lunch. Just the three of us. Sometimes we watch a movie, or play scrabble. Oh and we usually get pretty stoned." She giggled happily.
She continued. "It's at my house this time, next week. And those girls could use a little excitement. Well, I could too. How would like to come over and serve as the waiter for our lunch?"
I looked at her. "Waiter? I don't know anything about waiting tables."
"Well there's only three of us. And you could wear your new panties."
"That's crazy," I said. "I told you, I didn't have a real fantasy about wearing these. I just let you buy them because you were being so nice about it."
She reached up and grabbed my face by the cheeks and turned my face toward her. She gave me a faux-stern look. "Do not lie to me, young man," she said. "I know you. You're a pervert. You'd fucking love this."
"I don't think so."