It has been two weeks since our third date--the one in which we broke through the sound barrier of our budding relationship and discovered a universe of sexual compatibility. Two weeks since a tortuous political fundraising event took a left turn and ended in mind-blowing sex on the side of a lesser-used Austin highway. I haven't stopped thinking of Travis since, but our schedules have been difficult to align. "Double-Divorcee Connections" should be its own category on dating apps because of the hoops one must jump through to accomplish something as simple as a lunch date. "Big block" things like work and kids and other commitments of adult life, it turns out, are difficult to move around to accommodate even the steamiest of affairs.
After we bailed on his schmoozy friend's elbow-rubbing fundraiser, and he fucked me within an inch of my life on the hood of his car, I had hoped to keep the momentum going.
I think he likes me. I mean, he has to, right?
I recognize the fact that my ego desperately wants it to be so. From my perspective, we have always had great intellectual and conversational compatibility, and then after discovering the depths of pleasure possible together... It has been hard to concentrate on anything else. I must have gotten off no fewer than five times since he dropped me off at my door that night, recounting our time together. But we struggled to put a date on the calendar for a subsequent get-together. There was a lot of apologizing on both ends, which began to feel a little pathetic. A wet blanket thrown onto the fire of that evening. And finally, when we are able to make a meet-up happen, it's for breakfast. Breakfast.
"My 2pm just got moved to noon. I'm so sorry." he texts.
"It's fine--I really do get it. Clients always seem to wait until the end of the year for last minute urgencies." I write back, trying to make my empathy louder than my disappointment. We had originally planned on lunch, and I had an outfit picked out for the occasion, but things happen, and we were just going to have to roll with it.
"Can you meet at 8 for coffee instead?"
"Yes, if you don't mind seeing me in workout clothes."
I have a spot reserved in one of those painfully inauthentic "barre-inspired" fitness classes at 9:30, so I figure a quick hello before a workout is better than nothing to keep a little spark in the kindling of this thing we have going. And I'm absolutely going to come off as desperate, even if just to myself, if I move my plans to accommodate this last-minute rendezvous.
We meet at 8am. I show up early. Typical Type A personality shit.
Perhaps I should play it a little cooler
, I muse. I'm wearing a pair of mid-rise, figure-flattering black leggings that emphasize the curves between my ass and my small waist, and a black and white printed sports bra under an semi-translucent white tee for a teasing peekaboo effect, tied at the waist. My hair in a low ponytail. No makeup.
Whatever
, I think,
it's weird to wear makeup to a workout, so if he needs a woman who does so, better to find out now
.
I had actual real-life stuff I should be focused on, but seeing Travis eclipses whatever I have going on, like the upcoming Creative Review for our behemoth banking client's spring campaign. I work for an ad agency as a Creative Director, having risen through the art direction ranks. My writing partner is junior to me and his stuff isn't quite connecting yet, but I feel like an asshole leaning on him to improve it since my internal self-doubt kept telling me "You're not the writer--what do you know?" I Slack him a little self-effacing feedback to kill time, but my mind is on the scrubby cedar-lined highway and the eye-rolling orgasms Travis delivered three times weeks ago.
I was mid-Slack when Travis showed up a respectable 5 minutes late. I tried to pretend like I hadn't spent the last 10 minutes thinking about where I was sitting, and how my legs were crossed, and with what I was busying myself when he arrived.
He walks up and sits down in the chair beside me, saying nothing. He just looks at me. I try for a hot second to play it cool, but his unexpected move lights my extrovert tendencies on fire and I have to fill the void.
"Hi. How's your day so far? Are you caffeinated? I mean, you've been so busy lately." Even my attempted second-gear response seems overpowered for the occasion.
Travis just looks at me.
Jesus. What do I say? Why is he so quiet?
His 6'3" figure is clad in cool weather athletic gear (probably to make me feel more comfortable in mine)--basketball shorts and a DriFit half-zip pullover that's casually revealing of his masculine features.
"So... have you eaten? Do you want to..."
Travis leans forward and takes my face in his hands as I'm finishing my awkward sentence and quiets me with a sensual kiss, barely appropriate for 8:05am. His tongue teases my lips and begs me for more but then pulls away sweetly like he's "off to work" in a 60s sitcom.
It does shut me up, which I'm sure is the intention.
"I'm sorry I'm late. I've been looking forward to this." Travis offers with sincerity.
"I... me too." I say like an idiot. All the words escape me now.
"Have you eaten?" He asks.
"Yeah, I have breakfast at 6am with my coffee before getting the kids off to school." I confess.
"Ah, ok. Then I guess it's Double Espresso Day for both of us."
I'm still blushing from the kiss as we stand to enter the modest cafe. The place sells itself as a tea shop, so despite the coffee joke, I go for an iced white peach tea, because November in Texas feels like May everywhere else. Travis orders tea as well, black. We make small talk about work while in line.
I lead us over to a long, unoccupied table and take a seat. Travis sits opposite me, which feels miles away, especially given our recent time together. I make a fumbling pseudo-apology, and move to the end of the table to sit 90 degrees to his left. He seems vaguely amused by the move. I wonder if I'm coming on too strong.
"You just... you seemed so far away." I admit.
Why am I such a wreck today?
I realize I'm nervous because I like him, but I'm also probably overcaffeinated and under-slept.
My response seems to delight him a little, and the pressure of his calm quietness returns, and builds upon itself as he smiles at me.
"You're an interesting person." I deliver, deadpan. His cool intensity draws me in to a degree I've never experienced before. I want to know more about what makes him this way.
"Oh? What makes you interested?" I hate that he turned it on me; put my desire for him in such bright light. And it's no accident--he's a smart man of few words, so those he chooses matter. But what the hell, I'm into him. I'm just going to go for it.
"You're a walking contradiction."
Travis sits back in his chair with a slightly bemused expression. "Oh. How?"
Seriously? We are going to do this first thing in the morning? Ok then...
I take a breath and consider how far to take this.
"Well. There's your whole cowboy-meets-city-boy foil, but that's just obvious surface level stuff," I explain, "Anyone can wear boots and drive a beemer." I watch him shift almost imperceptibly at the characterization. "You have this other quality. This stillness that's vaguely frightening. It's like a deep, cold river that beckons you to sit beside it, dip a toe in, wade in. It may be so deep it'll whisk you away. Or it may feel like heaven. But you'll never know until you take a swim."
He just regards me, taking in my observation.
Maybe too deep for 8am