Alfonso, Duke of Bisceglie, came to Rome secretly in July of 1498. He was a good-looking kid, and charmed everyone who met him - especially his bride-to-be. Lucrezia was 19 years old, now, and Alfonso was a year younger. They both seemed to fall in love immediately.
Sancia was thrilled. Her good friend was marrying her brother. She laughed, she sang, and she was incredibly turned on.
- "If only it could be a double wedding." she said.
Never mind that she was already married. She wanted to play out her little fantasy that she and I were celebrating
our
marriage, which somehow involved her riding me as if I was a prize-winner at the Palio.
Lucrezia and Alfonso were married on July 21st, in a fairly private ceremony, to which the ambassadors were not invited. Of course, it wouldn't have been a Borgia family affair without some kind of scandal, but I was mildly embarrassed to be indirectly involved.
Juan de Cardona was a 29 year old Sicilian, a third generation Italian who nonetheless still considered himself Spanish. He was a soldier of fortune, and a very bright young man. Unfortunately, he was also one of the ugliest fellows I'd ever met.
He wasn't hideous; that might have helped. His dark hair was thin and lifeless, his complexion sallow. His eyes drooped, and there was nothing he could do about the dark circles beneath them. His nose was small and rather pointy. His mouth turned down at the corners, giving him a permanently unhappy expression.
Courtiers avoided him, as if his ugliness was somehow contagious, or unlucky. But from the moment I met him, I quite liked Cardona. He was intelligent, and even if he'd never fought in a major battle or siege, he was quite knowledgeable about military matters. I quickly took him under my wing, in the spring of 1498, and we had several very useful discussions with Ugo de Moncada and Ramiro de Lorqua.
Unfortunately, Cardona was not particularly well-informed about intimate relationships in the Apostolic Palace - specifically, between Sancia and me. He made a comment (or asked a question), which was heard by some of Sancia's servants. More words were exchanged, and... well, a brawl broke out. Then swords were drawn. The servers at the wedding feast couldn't get by to serve the sweetmeats and sugared almonds.
Fortunately, no one was killed, or even injured. There was some pushing and shoving, shouted insults, and the naked steel, of course. When I spoke to Cardona afterwards, he wasn't entirely sure what he'd said to set off Sancia's servants.
She wasn't very understanding. For someone who wasn't a
real
princess, Sancia was pretty accustomed to getting her own way. She wanted me to punish Cardona (and the Ramires brothers, plus Vicente, who had saved my life outside Elena's house). I just shook my head.
- "If you can't control your people, perhaps you're not the man I thought you were." she snapped.
- "Alright." I said. Then I walked out. That was definitely not something she was used to. But she had to learn that I wasn't going to kiss her ass (at least, not in that way).
It was only after that exchange that the Pope said "Time to look for other allies."
- "What?"
- "Ferdinand of Aragon is playing hardball; he won't give us back Gandia. He won't give us anything. Not even troops. Federigo agreed to have Alfonso marry Lucrezia, but he won't let you marry Carlotta. They obviously think that I have no other choice."
- "You didn't really expect him to give up Carlotta, did you?"
- "No. Well, maybe... but he could have offered something else. And Ferdinand could have, too. He just wants to make sure that
he
ends up with Naples. But he needs to be reminded that there are other claims to that throne."
- "Wait..." There was only one other major claim that I knew of. "France?"
- "I sent a friendly mission to King Charles back in March. My nephew, Cardinal Valencia."
- "Three months ago?" I was shocked - and impressed. "That's... incredible foresight."
- "Just keeping my options open." said the Pope, looking just a little smug. "But negotiations were... interrupted."
Charles VIII had died in April, after banging his head in a doorway.
"That," said my boss, "may have been a great blessing."
- "It's the same player. Admiral Colenso." I said.
- "Maybe. I'm still not 100% sure it's him. But either way, the new King has issues that the old one didn't."
Charles hadn't fathered a legitimate son. He was succeeded by his cousin (and brother-in-law), the former Duke of Orleans, who now became Louis XII.
Louis did have problems. The old King, Louis XI, had forced him to marry his disabled cousin, Jeanne de France. Louis XI was a first-class prick; he knew that Jeanne was supposed to be sterile. The marriage was his way of eliminating the Orleans branch of the French royal family.
Obviously, the new King wanted out of his marriage, which would require an annulment - which you can only get from the Pope. But Louis faced some time constraints, as well, because he knew who he wanted for his next wife: Anne of Brittany, who had been married to Charles VIII.
Anne was Duchess of Brittany in her own right. She had been betrothed to Maximilian of Austria (the future Holy Roman Emperor), and even married him by proxy. This was something that Charles VIII of France could not allow. He started a war.
Somehow, Charles not only forced Anne to renounce her marriage, but also convinced her to marry
him
! More incredibly, the couple were genuinely in love. Anne wasn't put off by his ugliness, or by his notorious philandering.
None of their children survived, though, so the French throne passed to Louis - who desperately wanted to marry Anne and father a child by her, to keep Brittany from falling into hostile hands.
- "Interesting..." I said.
- "That's not all, of course. Whoever the player behind Louis is - Admiral Colenso, or someone else - he wants more than that. An annulment, first, then a dispensation to marry Anne. He also wants a Cardinal's hat for his good friend and advisor, Georges D'Amboise, the Archbishop of Rouen. And then there's the little matter of Milan."
- "Holy shit!"
- "Exactly." said the Pope.
The simulation players had to follow the rules of their game. They couldn't just declare war on anyone, at any time. They needed a legitimate claim. As King of France, Louis had a valid claim to Naples. As Duke of Orleans, he also had a claim to the Duchy of Milan.
- "He'll invade Italy. Again." I said. "There's no Holy League left to stop him."
Ludovico Il Moro of Milan had turned his coat yet again, and made peace with Louis. Venice, furious with Ludovico (and traditionally anti-Milan anyway) was edging closer to France. Florence had shown itself to be near useless. If France did invade again, that would leave only the Papacy, Naples, and Spain to oppose them - and that would make Federigo and the Pope completely dependent on Ferdinand of Aragon.
Louis could get his annulment, divide his opponents,
and