While I drove away from Steve and Sarah, and towards my job, I had three simple thoughts running through my mind.
Moe was married. Nina would probably never be. Sarah was off limits.
It was mildly depressing, of course. I was unable to have a relationship with any of the three women I was most attracted to. It was also mildly surprising to me that I now included Sarah on that short list. Maybe that was just because we had spent a lot of time together this past week. In a short while, the temporary infatuation would wear off.
So I hoped. But as I thought about Sarah, I realized that my attraction was based on her remarkable similarity to the other two loves of my life. She had Moe's spunk and powerful personality, and Nina's kindness and sensitivity. Sarah also resembled Nina physically in several respects.
Sometimes, my life has felt like a string of weird coincidences. I had borrowed a few of Steve's mixed tapes for the drive home, just to have something new to listen to. So what song came on as I was thinking of Sarah? Frampton - All I Want to be is by Your Side. I could picture her singing it - and then blushing when she saw me.
The last few weeks of August went by in a blur. I wrote a long letter to Nina, letting her know about Steve's engagement. Then I prepped for my class.
I got a phone call, about a week before the new term began. It was Anna.
- "You were away for a while." she said.
- "Yeah. Back home. My friend Steve got engaged."
- "Good for him." she said, in a tone that sounded suspiciously like 'I could care less'.
- "How was your summer?" I asked. "How's your Mom, and Nonna?"
- "That's it?" she said. "That's what you want to know?"
I wasn't sure how to answer that.
"You don't want to ask how
I
am, after our breakup?" she continued. "Isn't there something else you'd like to say?" I could hear the bitterness in her voice.
- "I'm sorry, Anna, about the way it happened. I could have handled that much better."
- "And?"
- "And ... I hope that we can still be friends, and colleagues." I guessed. I had no idea what she expected me to say.
- "Aaargh!" she said - or something like that - just before she slammed down the phone.
On a more positive note, I got a short letter from Sarah. She thanked me - unnecessarily - for helping Steve with the painting and moving. But she had also included a photo that Steve had taken while we were at his new apartment. Sarah was photogenic, even if I wasn't. She was smiling, with her arm on my shoulder and a roller in the other hand, while I held a paintbrush. There was paint smeared across my forehead.
It was impossible not to notice how happy we looked. Or the way Sarah looked, with her bright eyes. She was turned, half profile to the camera, and one boob was sticking out quite noticeably. Damn - she
was
stacked. I looked at that photo for a long time.
I wrote her a long, rambling reply, trying to let Sarah how much I liked and appreciated her - without encouraging her to believe that there could be anything between us.
On the very first day of school, I could tell that the only people happy to see me back were Antonia, our students, and maybe Nelson.
Anna came by my class at the end of the day. She closed the door behind her. I waited for her to say something, but she just glared at me.
- "Well?" she said.
- "Well what?" I asked, as politely as I could.
- "I'm going to give you one more chance." she said. "But that's it. What do you want to say to me?"
At that point, I finally got it. Anna expected me to come crawling back to her, begging forgiveness. She couldn't even begin to imagine that she was in the wrong.
- "Ah." I said. "Anna - when you came to my place, you had a chance to meet Nina - who's a wonderful person, by the way. Instead, you insulted her - and me - and stormed off. I can understand if I hurt your feelings, or your pride. But there's no reason for you to take it out on other people."
Anna didn't stay to hear the end of my last sentence. She left - and slammed the door so hard, I think everyone in the building heard it.
Antonia certainly did. She came over to see if I was OK. She passed Hurricane Anna, going the other way, so she had some idea what was going on.
- "Anything you want to talk about?" she said.
Antonia was my partner, and my friend. She knew how hard I worked, and understood me better than anyone else at Pinecrest. So I told her everything. From beginning to end.
- "Shit." she said. "Too bad you didn't fuck her - pardon my French. If I've ever seen someone who needed to get laid, it's that girl. Or maybe Louise."
"This is not going to win you any friends, though, Chris." she said.
That was a prophetic comment. Anna became fast friends with Suzanne, who I had stopped seeing after two dates. They formed a sort of 'I Hate Chris' club. Louise was slightly miffed at me, too, since I had dated Suzanne, Chantal, and Anna - but not her.
Ed was pissed off at me, since I had scored with Chantal, where he couldn't. The Principal and vice-Principal didn't have the whole story, but after the disaster with Eva last year, they weren't too keen on anybody or anything which 'brought the reputation of the school into disrepute'.
Basically, my classes went well. I got along great with the kids, and with my partner. Everything else was mostly negative. After two years of working my ass off, I could finally afford to have a social life - except that I couldn't.
There were three women I could have clung to, or maybe even have had a long-distance relationship with - except that I couldn't.
The only person at work who liked me was engaged to be married. I was on my own, and none too happy about it. I spent a good bit of time on my own, and it didn't do me a lot of good. I watched too much TV, and played Sid Meier's 'Pirates' on the computer I had bought.
On Saturday nights, though, I went to one of the local watering holes, hoping that lightning would strike, or that a girl would somehow see me sitting there, looking thoughtful and sensitive - and decide that I was the perfect guy for her.
In late September, I was playing my part, nursing my third beer, when I heard a female voice ask: "Is this seat taken?"
- "Help yourself." I said, even as I turned to look at who she was.
- "What a pleasant surprise." she said.
- "Oh - Hi, Mrs Amaral." I said. It was the mother of Marianne, a girl I had taught in my second year. Mrs Amaral had shown up for Parent-Teacher interviews, dressed rather ... provocatively.
She looked ... about the same, tonight. Her dress wasn't too risque, but it did show a bit of cleavage. Her fingernails were painted a bright red, to go with her lipstick. She also had enough eye makeup and mascara on to sink a ship.
It was none of my business, of course. Marianne had confided in me, and revealed that her father had deserted the family years ago. Her mother was entitled to whatever pursuits she liked, I suppose.
- "Nice to run into you here." she said. "But please - call me Liz."
I asked about her daughters. Marianne was nervous, worried about the transition to high school. She wasn't too keen about being in Ed's class for the rest of this year, either.
- "She really misses you, and your class." said Liz. "And Claudia is
so
looking forward to having you next year."
- "Thank you." I said. "That's nice to hear."
- "You deserve it." said Mrs Amaral - Liz. "Can I buy you a beer - to show my appreciation?"
Yes, it would have been more professional to say no, and call it a night. I probably shouldn't have been there in the first place. But I was lonely, and stupid, so I accepted her offer.
We chatted, and eventually I bought another round, to thank her for the drink she had bought me. Liz wasn't hard to talk to. She seemed interested in everything about me. I tried not to give away too much, but somehow she already knew that Anna and I had broken up.
- "You don't understand, Chris." she said. "The girls talk about you all the time. You're like a celebrity - as big as Madonna, in their lives."
I'm not sure why I did it, but I catalogued Mrs Amaral's behaviour. Moe could have used her as a demonstration model in her class on signals. Liz exhibited almost all of them: she laughed at almost everything I said, maintained eye contact, flipped her auburn hair back, toyed with her necklace, adjusted her dress twenty times, and smiled at me.
Liz offered to buy another round, but I declined. I'd had more than enough.
- "You're right." she said. "We should have a coffee, instead. But the coffee here is awful. How about I make you a decent cup at my place? I'm just around the corner."
- "Ahh - that's probably ... not a good idea. What would Marianne say?"
- "The girls are sleeping over at a friend's." she said. "I wouldn't be here if they were at home."
That made it pretty plain. I didn't need to be a graduate of Moe's course on female signalling to get the hint. Liz was inviting me for more than a coffee. Well, lonely and stupid had a little argument with careful, inside my head.
- "That sounds very nice." I said. "Can I get a lift with you? I'll walk back and pick up my car later."
- "Good idea." she said.
Even as I got into her car, I was pretty sure that it wasn't such a good idea. But was it so wrong, to go with an impulse, for once?
Liz put the coffee on, and then offered me a tour of her modest two-bedroom bungalow. "The girls still share a bedroom," she said, "but they're already starting to fight. I'll have to get a new place soon."
"And this is my room." That was where the tour ended.
She stepped close, and kissed me. My arms went around her. Liz did most of the undressing, for both of us, but I helped. She seemed very happy, as she removed my shirt and ran her hands over my chest.
- "Mmmm ... very nice." she said.
She undid my pants, and reached into my underwear.
- "Mmmm ..." she said again - only this time her voice had risen an octave.
