The Virgin Ceremonies

Chapter 12

Virginia: A Full Refund

With my backpack over my shoulder, I walked down the sidewalk, the city sounds of people and traffic in my ears. My eyes were tired from all the crying I'd done after Beau left, and my thighs were tired from all the sex. I wanted to go home and rest my mind and body.

I finally turned on my phone. It was back to the real world for me. I stopped as I crossed the street, right in traffic. A cabbie honked at me, and I yelped, hurrying out of the way, staring at my phone. I'd missed dozens of calls and texts from Quinn, Tom, my aunt, my mom, and even my dad.

"Oh, no. Oh shit, shit, shit," I said.

I quickly opened Quinn's text messages, reading them: "Where are you?

"Everyone's freaking out.

"I couldn't reach your phone, so I called Tom, and now he knows you lied to him.

"Why didn't you tell me?

"I wouldn't have called him.

"He called your mother. She's freaking out.

"Tell me you aren't where I think you are.

"Ginny, please respond. It's me.

"Don't do this.

"For God's sake, you are making the biggest mistake of your life."

It was worse from my mom: "Where are you, Virginia?

"Quinn said you were going to visit Tom. Tom said you were coming here.

"Did you lie to both of them? Where are you?

"Answer your phone!

"You are in so much trouble, young lady.

"You'd better be dead in a ditch.

"I am furious!"

From Tom, it was no better: "Where the fuck are you?

"Why does Quinn think you're here?

"Did you lie to me about visiting your mom?

"My dad asked me because your dad asked him.

"What the hell is going on?

"WTF?"

Even Aunt Olivia sent me one: "Virginia, call me immediately."

"I am so fucked," I said aloud. "Utterly fucked. Stupid, stupid. Goddamn it, Quinn."

I called her first, and she answered immediately.

"Ginny?"

"Quinn, why did you call Tom? Damn it. Why?"

"Oh, thank God you're okay," Quinn said.

"You completely blew me out of the water."

"I didn't know I was telling a secret!" she said. "I was worried! Where were you all night? Please tell me you weren't with who I think you were with."

"I wasn't. I went to a Christmas party at the dorms. My phone died, and I fell asleep."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"I don't know. Sounds like a 'you' problem. Look, I gotta call my mom. Would you call yours? She left me a text and a voicemail, and I have enough fires to put out."

"Fine. When are you coming home?"

"I don't know, later. "

"Ginny, come home now."

"Don't treat me like a child. I'll come home when I want."

I hung up on her, then I dialed my mother.

"Virginia?"

"Mother, don't freak out."

"Virginia, I have been worried sick!"

"I know, I'm sorry."

"What the hell were you doing? Why was your phone off?"

"My battery died. I was hanging out at a Christmas party with some friends last night. I fell asleep on a dorm room couch."

"You fell asleep? Your friends can't charge your phone? You are lying, young lady!"

"I'm not," I said defensively. I was angry that she never believed me, especially since I so rarely lied to her. I'd have to throw in some spice to make it more convincing. "Okay, I drank a little before I fell asleep. It's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal? It is a big deal! You lied to Quinn and Tom, and now you're drinking?"

I cringed. "I was just letting off some steam. I don't normally do that."

"Why are you telling lies to Quinn and Tom?"

"I didn't know Quinn was my babysitter," I said indignantly. "I lied to her because we've been fighting, and I just wanted some peace and quiet."

"Fighting about what?" she asked.

"About stupid stuff, apartment chores, her messy boyfriend."

"Virginia, what aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing, Mother. Please respect my privacy a little. I was just out with some friends last night, and Quinn called Tom, and Tom called you, and now it's a big mess. Can we just drop it? I have a lot of studying to do for finals this week, and I don't want to spend all day explaining myself."

"We are not done talking about this, young lady!"

"Okay, can we talk about it later? I'm outside, and I can't hear well. I just wanted you to know I'm okay."

"Fine. I will call you this evening, and we will have a long discussion about your responsibilities as an adult living alone in New York City."

I sighed. "Fine."

Finally, I called Tom.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hey, it's me."

"Where the hell have you been?"

"I was just out with some girlfriends from school. They threw a party."

"Who?"

"This girl, Taylor, no one you know."

"What were you doing all night? Were you cheating on me?"

I was, but I wasn't going to tell him that. "Is that really the first thing you think, that I must be out having sex with random men?"

"I don't get it. You said you were sick, but you're out partying?"

"It was an end-of-year Christmas thing. I started to feel better, so I figured, why not?"

"And you can't answer your phone?"

"My battery died, and I was drinking. I fell asleep on Taylor's couch. It's not a big deal."

"Everyone was worried about you. Why did you tell Quinn you were coming to see me and tell me you were going to your mom's?"

"I didn't lie intentionally. I was going to go to my mom's, but remember, I said I didn't want to? I talked to Quinn and decided it would be fun to show up at your place and surprise you. But then Taylor called about the party, and I figured I'd just stop by to say hi before going to your place, then I fell asleep."

"What the fuck? I don't want you showing up here unannounced, ever. That's never okay."

"Oh. Well, I mean, I thought it might be nice to see each other."

"Yeah, if you call first."

I gulped. God, I wanted to dump him. "Okay, sorry."

"Whatever. So, you're good?"

"I'm good."

"Fine, I'll tell my dad. He was worried too, because your dad called him."

"I'm sorry. Our families are so annoying."

"I guess. All right, I gotta go."

"Okay. Um, love you," I said.

I didn't know if I should say that, especially because it made me feel like a two-timing cheater after last night, but Tom didn't say it back. I waited for almost thirty seconds too. In fact, he didn't say anything at all. And then I realized he'd ended the call.

"Oh, you asshole," I said aloud. "What the hell am I doing with my life?"

I didn't want to go home. If I did, I'd have to lie to Quinn, and I was scared she was going to get the truth out of me. I'd broken my promise to her, gone to see Beau, exactly what she didn't want me to do. This could really hurt her if I wasn't careful. I needed to get my story straight, quickly, and I needed a place to cool down and relax after the morning I'd had.

I took a bus across town, thinking a lot on what Beau had said to me. He'd really broken my heart at the end there, not that I didn't deserve it. He was right: I wasn't going to fight for us. I'd pretty much gotten what I asked for, a reason to hate him, but I didn't hate him. I missed him terribly, and I honestly had no idea how I was ever going to get over him.

I wished I could put Tom's face on Beau's body. Well, the upper half. I wanted to keep everything else, Beau's lips, his amazing chin, his sexy hair, his pretty eyes, his adorable personality, that cock, everything, and just go on my merry way. Okay, maybe I just wished Beau was Tom. But he wasn't. I had to pick between a nuclear weapon and a sensible peace treaty. And Beau expected me to detonate that bomb? How dare he ask me to do that for him? Damn him.

"Damn him," I said aloud. The old lady on the bus gave me a look. I gave her an embarrassed smile.

The bus stopped, and I walked a couple blocks, seeing the blue sign that was becoming very familiar: Starstruck's. I headed inside, seeing only a couple customers lounging in the chairs. One of the reasons I really liked this place, other than the amazing coffee, was the lack of clientele. I always felt like I was the most important person around. I looked for my favorite barista, but I didn't see him behind the bar. Maybe he was in the back.

"Good morning, welcome to Starstruck's. What can I get you, sweetie?" Colin said effeminately.

"Hi. I'll take a mocha cappuccino."

"Oh, I remember you," he said, punching it in. "Extra mocha?"

"Yes, please."

"Anything else?"

"Not right now."

"Ginny, right?" he said, punching in my name.

"You remembered? Awesome."

He chuckled. "You're qualified for a loyalty card now. Still have to charge you though. It's $6.26, honey."

"No worries." I paid.

He wrote my name on the cup and started to make my drink, but I stopped him.

"Wait, could I have the other guy, Brent, make it? He makes it perfect every time, and I'd like to say hello to him."

Colin raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? You two have a thing?"

"Huh? Oh, no. He's gay, isn't he?"

Colin shrugged. "Who knows with him? But he's not here. He has the day off."

"Oh, okay, too bad," I said. "I'm sure you'll make it fine."

"You know he lives under the cafe, right? Do you want me to call him?"

"Oh, no, no. I can't disturb him on his day off."

"For you, he'd love to do it."

"For me?"

"Sure. I think he likes you."

"Um, he does? We're just friends."

"Mmm-hmm, sure," he said, drawing his phone.

"We are. He is gay, right? Oh, no, please don't call him."

"It's already ringing," Colin said with the phone to his ear. "It's fine, he'll love to make you a coffee, I promise."

"But is he gay? Because I don't want to give him the wrong impression if he's not."

"Hey, sweetie," Colin said into the phone. "Where are you? Oh, you did? Guess what? I have your favorite customer here. No, no, the girl with the reddish hair, remember, Ginny? Uh-huh. Yes, she's here, and she wants a fabulous Brent mocha cap special. Wanna come up and mix her one? Okay, cool. I'll tell her. See you soon." Colin put his phone away. "He said he just stepped out of the shower, so he has to get dressed, and he'll be up."

"Oh, god, you didn't need to do that. I'm so embarrassed."

"Nonsense, he loves to work."

"The last thing I need is another guy in my life. I really thought he was gay. I'm not leading him on, right?"

"Don't worry, you're not. He is gay. He just doesn't know it."

"Um, okay."

"Have a seat. He'll bring it to you when he comes up."

"All right," I said, feeling more awkward than ever. I shouldn't have said anything. I really hoped Brent was gay. Lord, that's just what I needed: one boy who loved me, one boy who I hated, and one boy who was a closet homosexual hoping I could fix him. Yeah, my life wasn't complicated enough.

I settled into the sofa and looked at my phone. My father had texted me too. That was very rare, just a few words from him. "Are you all right?"

I responded. "Hi, Dad. I'm fine. Went out with the girls last night, got a little crazy, fell asleep."

I hoped that would do. I'd still get a lecture about responsibility, but that was better than setting off a nuclear bomb.

The bell above the cafe door rang. I looked up and Brent was there. He really caught my eye. Normally, he wore barista black, a big apron, and a hat, but now I could see him better: the wet hair in his eyes, the way his t-shirt clung to his wet body, his jeans tight in all the right places, his face shaven. Actually, I hadn't really noticed until now, but he was a very sexy guy. Oh, of course, he was. He was gay. The sexy ones always were.

"Hey," Brent said to Colin.

I was surprised, because I expected he would look at me and say something, but he didn't seem to notice me. He went straight behind the bar, never looking in my direction at all. I pretended to play with my phone. I didn't want him to notice me exactly, but it felt a little rude.

He finished mixing the drink and then said something to his friend Colin. I couldn't hear, but then they separated. Brent looked upset by something. I quickly put my phone into my nose to look busy as Brent brought my drink over and set it on my table.

"Here you go," he said.

I lowered the phone. "Oh, thank you, Brent. I'm so sorry Colin called you. I asked him not to."

"It's fine. Happy to do it."

"Um, would you like to sit down, have coffee with me? It's your day off, right?"

He stared at me. "You wanna have coffee with me?"

"Oh, sure. Honestly, I could use some company. I've had a day."

He seemed to be thinking it over.

"I hear they make amazing mocha caps here," I said.

He warmed up a little, finally giving me a smile. "Do they?"

"The best."

"Colin," he said, looking back. "Can I get a mocha cap?"

"Sure. $6.26."

"Seriously?"

"No free drinks off the clock. Don't make me feel like a jerk."

Brent reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, putting down the cash.

"Do I have to make it myself too?"

"Could you?"

"Extra mocha, with caramel swirl on top, please," he said and then he came back to the sofa, sitting down next to me. "Let's see who makes it better."

I chuckled. "No contest."

"Colin's pretty good, actually."

I did want some company today, but I didn't want a misunderstanding. "Listen, I just want to say, I hope you don't think I'm, like, you know, leading you on. I hope we can be friends, you know, just friends? I know I'm not really your, um, type, anyway, right?"

He stared at me for a long moment. And I mean long, like he was looking past me. It made me so uncomfortable. I glanced over my shoulder, expecting there to be a horrific car accident or something. When I looked back, he gave me a small smile.

"I'm gay, Ginny," he said.

"Oh! Okay, phew, good." I laughed a little. "I, I, you know..."

"I know. It's fine. You look lovely today, by the way."

"Thank you. You look really nice too. Very casual. I think Colin is checking you out."

He chuckled. "He checks me out every day. It's workplace harassment, honestly."

"Mocha cappuccino for Brenda!" Colin called, putting it in the pickup window, looking around like he didn't see us. "Is there a Brenda here?"

I bit my lip and suppressed my giggle.

"This guy," Brent said, shaking his head. "He's even going to make me go get it."

Brent went for it, and I admit I checked out his butt. I figured if he was gay, no harm done. And he had a cute ass. I think Colin noticed too, because after Brent picked up the cappuccino, Colin stared at him and licked his lips.

"Colin's cute," I said. "You two would make a cute couple."

"We're just friends," he said, sitting down. "I'm still figuring out what I want in life."

"Sure, I get it."

"How about you? Seeing anyone?" he asked, taking a sip of his cappuccino.

I took a sip of mine. It was tasty, but he made it better last time. "Me too, figuring things out."

"Complicated, huh?"

"You have no idea," I said, laughing a little.

"Tell me more," he said, sitting back.

"Oh, I don't want to bore you."

"It's not a bore. I'd like to know a bit more about you, actually. Like, tell me, why are you here, hanging out alone, no books, no laptop, no studying. A girl like you must have a hundred friends."

"Not really."

"I don't believe that."

"I have one really good friend, my cousin, Quinn. She's been in here once or twice. And a lot of 'kinda' friends from university, but no one real close, not since high school."

"Did something happen in high school?"

"Sort of. Short version, I'm very academic, but I had a lot of pressure to join certain circles as I got older. It was hard balancing, especially because I advanced a year early. But I was dating this guy, and, well, he cheated on me, twice actually, with two of my friends. It became a whole big thing in high school, and sides were chosen."

"I see. Sorry your boyfriend did that to you. Guys are assholes."

"They can be. You'll learn that the hard way."

He chuckled. "Yeah. So that's why you're here alone?"

"I'm not alone, you're here. We're friends now, right?"

He smiled at me. "Definitely."

"Cool," I said. "We should hang out some time, you know? I'd love to go to a gay bar with you."

"That could be fun," he said.

"Definitely." I took a sip of my cappuccino, and he did the same. "How is it?" I asked.

"It's good," he said. "You should get some coffee to go for your cousin Quinn."

"Yeah, I could, but Quinn and I are kind of fighting."

"About what?"

I sighed. "It's really complicated."

"I'm sure it's not that complicated. Maybe I can help. What, did she borrow your clothes without permission?"

"I wish. No, it's about a guy."

"You two want the same guy or something?"

"No, I want the guy, and she wants me to stay away from the guy."

"Why does she care?"

"I promised her I wouldn't see him, because he's sort of a bad boy, and now she suspects I was with him last night."

"I see. Were you?"

"Yes," I said, blushing a little. "You know how these things happen."

"I don't think I do, actually," he said with a laugh. "But maybe you should introduce the two of them, let them become friends. Maybe she would approve."

"Oh, God, no. She already knows him. That's why she doesn't approve. And really, it's not that she doesn't approve, it's that she knows my parents wouldn't approve, so she's trying to keep me out of trouble."

"He must be a real bad boy."

"Like a nuclear bomb."

"But it sounds like you had fun last night."

"Yes, a lot of fun, but I told him it was over."

"Oh. So, you're on the rebound after a breakup? I see now why you're hanging out alone."

"Kind of, yeah. I'm a little brokenhearted and wanted some cheer-up chocolate."

"But is it really over?" he asked.

"Yes, of course."

"How positive are you?"

I swallowed a sip of cappuccino and stared at him. "I want to say 100%, but I'm scared I'm going to call him again."

"Maybe you should delete his number from your phone."

"Too late, it's memorized."

"Then maybe you should call him and tell him it's over."

"He knows it's over," I said with a heavy sigh. "And it's not like it was ever on. I mean, we hook up for sex, you know? He knew what it was. Why do I even feel guilty?"

"Hmm," he said, looking down. "So, it was just sex then?"

"Yeah. God, I can't believe I'm telling you this. You know, you're a really good listener."

"Thanks."

"I'm serious. I feel comfortable with you. You have one of those faces. I dunno. I feel like we know each other. Is that weird?"

"We do know each other, Ginny. We're friends, right?"

"Of course," I said whimsically. There was something so familiar about Brent. I didn't know what it was. Something in his smile maybe, or his voice. I couldn't place it. Of course, I had a crazy thought that he reminded me of Beau, but I paid it no mind.

"I still think you should call him," he said.

"And tell him what?" I said, genuinely curious. "What would you say to a guy you only hooked up with?"

"Well, first, I'd ask him if it was really only a hookup."

"He wants more than a hookup. I already know that."

"That's different then."

"Exactly."

"Still, you could call him to talk things out, help you both to understand each other. Just listen to him, and have him listen to you."

"Ah, the expert listener recommends listening," I said with a giggle.

"It works," he said, sipping his drink. "I had this, uh, friend once..."

"Okay?" I said.

"It was like you with your guy, just hooking up. I wanted more, and he didn't."

"So, you know what this is like, huh?"

"Yeah," he said. "He didn't want to come out of the closet. I didn't care if people knew, devil may care. But he thought it would ruin his life."

"I know the feeling," I said somberly.

"He cared more about pleasing his family than pleasing me."

I swallowed. This was really hitting home. "Family is impossible to please."