Why on earth had she accepted this assignment, Erin wondered for the billionth time while stuttering around on a muddy road in heals too high for comfort. The wind was blowing fast, swirling through her newly dyed curls and making her shiver in her thin city clothes. She stared with longing at the entry door as she was gradually closing in on it. But first she had to cross an area better designed for hiking boots than stilettos.
How a company could be placed in the middle of nowhere, 10 kilometres from the nearest store, and still be a profitable corporate in today's market was beyond her understanding. Damn Warren for cashing in on that long-time favour and providing her with this monstrous task. He had even resolved to tempt her with the promotion she had wanted for such a long time.
"Act silly and sexy," he had said with that broad smile of his. She could not quite make up her mind which of the two was the most difficult to accomplish. He might as well have asked her to stop breathing. To top it all he had dared define sexy as "Big breast and large cleavage, of course." As if she had neither. Well, right now she did, thanks to some modern intervention in the clothing industry, and she was practically freezing her nipples off because of it.
Thank you, Warren, she thought with an irony. This was the last time she accepted a job before getting all the details in advance. It was one thing to locate frauds - that would only be a welcome change to her normal and boring work-schedule. But the means she had to apply in order to catch these guys was something she had not fully grasped the extension of before ending up here.
Thank god for wonder bra and extra padding, she thought. Coupled with a sweater with the deepest cleavage Stella could provide, she was practically bared all the way to her navel - and freezing already. Damn Warren and Stella for coming up with this cover. She would surely remember to thank them both when she came down with lung fever or worse, and she would happily share the disease with both of them. That would hopefully teach them to come up with a better plan the next time.
Still, her cup size had doubled. That should help improve her courage - if courage was the right word for it. This cup size would probably give her a problem walking through normal-sized doors, she thought ironically. Now, only the silly part remained.
Asking the top analyst to start acting silly was degrading -- to say the least. Hadn't she just spend the last five years doing the opposite to and obtain a minimum of respect from her male co-workers? And she had succeeded. These days her co-workers respected her opinions and listened to her instead of shaking their heads whenever she opened her mouth. She hoped none of them would ever learn about this assignment and what she had done to reveal the fraud.
Okay, okay, no more time for complaints. She would take it out on Warren and Stella as soon as she got back to the civilized world again. Right now, she had a role to perform. That meant she had better practise her smiles and happy-thoughts-mantras, and remember that getting drunk in order to act more stupid was a bad idea.
Also, she had to remember to put the shoulders back, hips forward, or was it the other way around? Stella had nagged for almost two days now, but the amount of information was simply too overwhelming after a lifetime of wearing clothes for comfort instead of show-off. And what was it Stella had said about waxing her legs again? And concealer before or after foundation?
Splash! In shock she stared down at her legs planted right in the middle of a large puddle of water. The water was cold and murky -- of course -- and already seeping into her pumps before she could get away from the disaster zone. Just great! That was the only thing missing. This day had better improve fast, Erin thought glumly. Damn, she would probably freeze to death soon. Only now she had a good excuse for taking off these ridiculous shoes.
Walking into the building and heading toward the office area, she could not see anyone around. The muddy water was gradually transferring itself from her shoes and onto the carpet. She glanced down and made a grimace when she noticed the trail of muddy footprints she was leaving behind. It was always fun to start a new job and this would definitely leave an impression, she chuckled before walking full-faced straight into a mountain. A warm mountain, as well. Oops.
"Sorry," she said and stumbled before catching her balance again. All the time with a suspicion she probably looked just as stupid as she felt.
The mountain watched the trail of footprints behind her and his expression turned into a frown which completely ruined the nicely chiselled face and made him look very frightening indeed.
"Who are you?" he asked gruffly.
The voice obviously belonged to the owner of the carpet - a man who seemed more at home in the wilderness she had just passed than in a polished office, at least when judging by his tanned skin. Had it not been for the posh Armani suit that seemed like a natural skin to him? Still, those muscles were definitely not obtained while merely shuffling papers around. Most likely this was her new boss and the main suspect.
Nice fellow, she thought ironically. Big, brutish and already having a grudge for her. This was just great. She had definitely made an impression, yes. She could not wait to finish this assignment and head back to the civilized world. He was staring at her as if trying to turn her into a submissive just by his sheer, arrogant will. Oh well, she had faced down enough males in her time, so this one would not scare her off that easily. Luckily her new role allowed her some new weapons at her disposal and she intended to use every one she had available.
"Oh, hello. You must be Mr. Mason. I'm your new secretary, Erin Taylor" she answered with the well-practised smile and gave him her hand in a weak handshake. "Warren told me
so
much about you," she giggled while shoving her breasts forward, giving him a nice look down her extensive cleavage, and started twirling a curl in her hair.
He only mumbled as a comment to her gigantic effort of proving her stupidity and lack of morals. Obviously, blondes were not his favourite, she thought ironically. Wonder what would happen if she decided to fling herself at him? She guessed a 50% chance that he would puke and flee the scene after a few seconds if his sour expression was anything to go by.
H'mmn, maybe not such a bad idea, she thought solemnly. Then she would have the files to herself, find the evidence and be out of there in a few hours. It seemed like a good plan. Especially if he was the culprit as Warren had predicted. The grimace was still evident on his face, and it got more pronounced the more she studied him.
Then he suddenly burst out, "
You're
the secretary Warren wanted to lend me? Seems more like a freak parade trying to ruin my carpet," he said icily.
"Oh, that. Well I was thinking on something very important," she explained slowly so the jerk could follow.
"Like what? Like the alien invasion of earth?" he said while giving her outfit a telltale look, as if indicating he included her in that group.
"No, not at all. It was much more important than that. You see, I was thinking about whether to use foundation before or after concealer. An extremely important question I think, and I was trying really hard to remember what Vogue wrote about it in their latest issue," she continued and smiled broadly at him so he would understand how stupid she really was.
Then she waited for the explosion. After half a minute, he was still glaring at her. Strange, she thought. He must be a control freak. Any normal person would have thrown her out by now. She almost wished he
would
throw her out. Then she could return to the civilisation and tell Warren she had done her best but had been conquered by some wild land-beast -- dressed in Armani. Yep, that would surely convince Warren, she thought ironically.
"So, why did Warren fire you?" the land-beast asked conversationally as he seemed to have calmed down again to his normal icy facade.