Author's warning: This is a chapter of abuse. Verbal, emotional, physical, and eventually sexual (i.e. rape/non-consent). It's one of the points I warned about in the intro to the first chapter. I'm a bit nervous posting it, but it's what things have been building up to. I hope it's not too hard to read or too ridiculous, and I definitely hope it's obvious I'm not encouraging or promoting the actions / behaviour described. If it makes you nope-out, then I understand, but I promise you this dark tunnel has a light at the end.
Thanks again for reading.
***
Saving the Doctor
Part 5. The Breaking Point.
Jon slept in late the next morning. He spent even longer lying in bed, procrastinating from getting up and facing reality. The guest bed felt so soft and comfortable. The sheets were smooth and silky. The light shining in from the window wasn't too bright. Everything felt perfect if he just pretended that nothing was wrong. Blissful denial. It was such a tempting state.
One that he had wallowed in too long.
He forced himself bitterly to stand up and stretch his aching body, catching himself from a head rush with a hand on the headboard. He didn't feel ready, but he had to. He had to face Elaina. To confront her, bluntly, about their relationship. To call off the wedding... probably.
...after breakfast. He decided.
To his surprise she wasn't there when he went downstairs. He tiptoed upstairs and softly opened their bedroom door, only to find the bed empty. No sounds of anyone sicking up in the bathroom. He went back down and found that her car was gone.
He decided not to text her and simply fill his rumbling stomach and figure out where to go from there. He cooked up some breakfast sausages. Elaina hated them, and she wasn't around anyway. A few eggs, and some toast and he felt immensely better. He guzzled down some orange juice as he finally pulled out his phone and texted her, asking where she'd headed off to.
An hour later there was still no response, and he started to worry.
He distracted himself with a short workout, but he was still recovering from last night and his energy level just wasn't there. Visions of Carly flashed back to him now and then. Her beautiful body dancing against him. Their incredible escape into the coatroom. Her tits, her mouth, her smile, her touch, her affection, her... everything. It filled his chest with pressure as he remembered.
He had tried to brush off their first few weeks as a childish crush, though he never fully believed it, and now, it was beyond anything of the sort. He had fallen for her in a very real and ongoing way. He felt like he was past feeling any guilt for it. He knew it was technically wrong, and he regretted that they were both still in relationships and the lies of omission they told every day, but he couldn't tell himself that his feelings for her were wrong. At least not in a way that he should deny and forget them. It felt too pure, too beautiful, too right.
The cynical part of his mind butted in and reminded him that so far almost every overtly intimate encounter had been under the influence. She had only kissed him once sober. He had no idea how she was feeling this morning. What she did or didn't regret. What she ultimately wanted...
It was very tempting to text her, but he decided he needed to think more about what he would say. Maybe it depended on what he was able to bring himself to say to Elaina.
If and when she ever came back...
The thought of her making his work easy and having left him already, filled him with a confusing mix of relief and fear. He wouldn't have to force himself to find the words and the gumption to confront her about why their engagement was a farce, maybe not even admit that he'd cheated on her. She would be gone though. For good. He would never kiss her or hold her again. Never let those intense eyes ensnare him into their prideful possession and be trapped between her long, smooth legs as she bounced her tall slender body on his cock. Never snuggle against her on the couch. He would be alone.
Despite everything he had just told himself about Carly, the thought of it made him feel nauseous and his guts felt like they were burning away. He was suddenly afraid he didn't have the strength to do it. Why? He was miserable now, and he'd been happy enough to be single for much of his life before. Why couldn't he bring himself to be okay with this?
He tried to quell the anxiety by escaping into his book for a while. Inevitably he found himself just staring at the words and daydreaming about Carly again. It helped, but did he really need to bounce from one woman directly to another? Was he really that dependent? Plus, she was far from a sure thing. Hell, he could simply call off the wedding, and sure, they'd have to figure out some finances and how to split the house, but that was simple compared to the divorce that she would have to go through. His cynical mind reminded him again, that he was getting ready to leave his fiance for a woman that he'd only had two drunken sexual encounters with, and he had no idea what she was prepared to do. He argued back that there was so much more. So much personal connection building up to those nights,...at least for him.
He looked at his phone. It was 11:30. He probably wouldn't be waking her up. Would he seem desperate? Creepy?
Screw it, he wanted to text her.
- Hey. I had a great time at the gala last night, I hope you did too....Chat sometime?
He looked back at it as soon as he hit send, and cringed, thinking it sounded stupid.
He took out his guitar and noodled around, trying to distract himself again.
An hour later he had got up and started pacing. He checked the signal connection on his cell phone to make sure it was working.
He sat down and closed his eyes and controlled his breathing. Taking in the feel of the couch beneath him, the quiet sounds of the house around him, the light of the room. That's all that he needed to worry about right now. He had no women or drama that he needed to deal with in this moment, just himself and whatever he wanted to do. He smiled and decided to enjoy his freedom. He thought of the online game he used to play with his college friends. Todd had said they still had weekend sessions with the others when he talked with him a few weeks ago. He smiled and booted up his laptop, eager to see if he still had some skills at it.
Suddenly his phone rang. A videocall.
It was from Elaina.
He swiped to answer and the confusion suddenly erased from his face when he saw her in a wedding dress.
"Hi honey!" she said with a smirk on her face. "Did you really forget I was doing my dress shopping today?"
"Hi Jon!" Elaina's sister Madeline looked in from the side and waved.
"Hi!" he waved back, putting on a friendly face, and chuckled. "Uh, yeah I might have forgotten."
"I guess last week after I agreed that you didn't need to come with me, you just put it out of your mind?"
He smiled and gave an apologetic shrug.
"Rough morning?" she raised an eyebrow at him.
"Not that bad, to be honest. Sleeping in was nice though. Do I look rough?"
Elaina smiled. "A little, but you're kinda cute with your hair messy," she said with a wink.
"Awww," Madeline chimed in. "How does she look Jon?"
Elaina smiled and did a slow twirl. The dress hugged the gentle curves of her slim figure and sparkled brilliantly.
"Beautiful," he said honestly.
"Okay, well this is my favorite so far at this shop, but we're going to go for lunch and then visit two more places this afternoon, so keep your phone available in case I want to show you some others okay?"
"Okay," he agreed.
"I convinced Madeline to stay for supper before she drives home tonight," Elaina said.
"Okay," he coughed, "Sounds good. Do you want me to get it ready? I don't know how late you two will be, but I could cook up some steaks or something."
Elaina put her hand to her face, "Jon she's a vegetarian."
"Oh shit, right, I'm sorry," he cringed. He had forgotten from the one or two brief times he had met her.
"It's okay," Madeline said from the side.
"No it isn't," Elaina said softly to her, with an embarrassed frown.
"No, I'm not offended Elaina, it's okay."
Elaina sighed, "We'll take care of it Jonathon, don't worry." She looked down at herself and smiled. "I'm glad you like the dress anyway. Alright bye," she said, and blew him a kiss.
"Bye" he said with a tight smile.
