Lewis Lamb's throat felt dry.
He checked the number on the door, then the address on his phone. It wasn't what he was expecting. Greyfriars was a crumbling residential block of flats. He was up on the fifth floor balcony. Behind him was a view of the river and a scruffy scrapyard. The teens he'd passed downstairs looked like they'd shiv him in the kidneys if they thought he had anything worth nicking. It wasn't the most glamourous of locations.
There again, this wasn't exactly the most glamorous of work.
His heart thudded nervously in his chest.
He could always just fuck off and leave. Say the bus had broken down, he'd come down with Covid, anything.
No. Rent was due next Friday. He needed a boost.
He forced his hand up and pressed the bell.
Please don't be a prank. Please don't be a prank
, ran through his head.
The door was answered by a pretty young Asian woman. She was short—about 5' 2'' in height. Her age was indeterminate, but she had a very attractive face framed with dark silky hair cut in a medium-length bob. Her most eye-catching feature was her bust. There was a lot of it and she was dressed in a low-cut stretchy yellow top that showed it off to devastating effect. Lewis noticed his gaze was being sucked into the lush canyon of her cleavage and hurriedly flicked it back up to her smiling face.
"Um. I'm here about the advert," Lewis said.
He hoped that meant something to her. That he hadn't just knocked on the door of some random stranger's house.
The girl turned and said something in a foreign language. Japanese?
She gave Lewis a shy smile and retreated back into the flat, slipping away into a room on the right.
Don't be a prank. Don't be a prank
, ran over and over through Lewis's head.
Part of him was hoping it was, if only to bring everything to a mercifully swift end.
A man appeared in the short hallway. He was not Japanese. Or even Asian. He was very short, hairy and ginger. He was balding. His remaining hair was a mass of cherubic curls that might have looked charming on a boy or younger man. Instead they looked campy and pervy—the hair of a child molester. The man wore a pair of thick bottle-bottom glasses that magnified his watery blue eyes up like ping pong balls. The spectacles rested on a flattened nose. Unsightly bristles of ginger hair protruded from too-wide nostrils.
The man was a strange combination of short and gangly, as if he was a failed experiment to mix human and simian DNA. His limbs also had a strange ungainly quality to them, as if they hadn't been attached correctly. He wore a pair of cargo shorts that failed to hide a knobbly pair of knees. He wore a grubby red-and-white striped T-shirt. A camera hung down from a strap around his neck.
"Hi, Lewis isn't it?" the short photographer said. "I got your email."
Lewis nodded.
So, at least this was the right place. That was partly a relief, but it also opened the door to a whole host of other trepidations.
"Well, dunna hang around outside in the cold. Come in, laddie. Come in."
Lewis followed him into the short corridor. He passed a doorway on the right and glanced inside to see the girl who answered the door, as well as four other Asian women sitting casually on chairs. One glanced at him and smiled as he went by. The ginger photographer took him into a side kitchen.
"You're right on time," the man said. "That's a good quality to have in this industry. Punctuality. You'd be surprised how many lack it."
The man switched on a kettle and went into the cupboards.
"Thirsty?" he asked. "You want a drink? A cuppa, a can of coke, a wee dram to settle the nerves?"
Lewis mumbled he'd like a coke. He needed something. His mouth had completely dried up.
The ginger man went into the fridge and passed him a can of coke.
"A good choice. The problem wit' a bit of Dutch Courage is it sometimes settles parts of the body we'd rather not settle."
He mimed a droop with his finger and laughed dirtily. He poured some milk in a mug and dropped in a teabag while he waited for the kettle to boil.
Lewis popped the tab on the can and took a swig. It tasted too sweet on his tongue. It was liquid, though, and Lewis needed that right now. His throat and the back of his mouth felt as dry as the Sahara. His tongue felt swollen and difficult to talk with.
"Ah, where are my manners," the ginger man said. "I'm Giovanni, Giovanni McTavish."
Lewis remembered that from the email.
McTavish proffered a hand for Lewis to take. It felt surprisingly normal. Lewis was expecting it to be more... greasy.
Or maybe that was a reflection on how Lewis felt inside.
"So, have you done this before?" McTavish asked.
Lewis briefly thought about lying. He was still afraid he'd be sent back out the front door. He needed this money.
He thought better of it. The ginger man looked like he was experienced at this type of thing. He'd probably be able to tell if Lewis was lying.
Lewis shook his head. "No," he said. "Is that a problem?"
"Not at all," McTavish said. "I deal with newcomers a lot. I prefer it to be honest wit' you."
The kettle boiled and he made his cup of tea.
"Some men get a couple of gigs under their belt and it goes right to their heads. Become right nightmares to deal wit'. Prima donnas. I think it's the knowledge men aren't worth shit in this industry that gets to them... gets right under their skin. So they feel like they have to act up and be awkward. Nightmares to deal wit'. Worse than some of the gals."
The ginger man supped his cup of tea.
"The other thing wit' newcomers, they got the right look."
McTavish made a frame with his hands and squinted through it at Lewis's face.
"You got it. A wee bit of innocence. Perfect for this." He gave Lewis a filthy wink.
Was it that obvious? Lewis supposed it was. The butterflies fluttering in his stomach weren't going away. He could only take small sips from his can. Any more and it would come right back up.
"Ah, but I s'pose I should really get the ethical stuff out t'way. You sure you're okay wit' this?"
Lewis nodded, albeit not too convincingly.
"Your face ain't gonna be plastered all over t'internet, but it'll out. You never know who might stumble across it. Might be lads at work. Might even be family. You gotta be prepared for that."
Lewis was okay with it. He didn't have any family. Not much in the way of friends either, at least offline. He had some online friends from the videogames he played. None of them knew what he looked like.
He told McTavish that in a series of awkward mumbles.
"So you didna tell anyone you were coming here to do this?" McTavish asked.
Lewis nodded his head.