The phone rang. Travis looked at the number. It was his girlfriend, Barbara.
"Hello, hon."
"Can you come over right away? We need to talk."
I hate when women use that phrase, Travis thought. It never means anything good.
"Sure. I'll be by in 15."
Travis headed over. Barbara opened the door and ushered him in.
"I feel it's time for us to move on from each other."
"Why?"
"Nothing you did. I just get bored easily. I've never had a relationship last long."
"So what can I do to make you un-bored?"
"Nothing. It's just my nature. I can't ever settle down. But I'll tell you what. One of my friends, Kira, has been crushing on you. I'll give you her number."
Barbara jotted a phone number down on a Post-It.
"Call after 7 p.m. She works days."
"So, that's it? We're finished because you're `bored'?"
"Kira desperately wants to fuck... er, `meet'... you."
"Okay, okay."
Travis stalked back to his car, fuming. But that evening, after a meal and some time to calm down, he dialed the number Barbara had given him.
"Kira speaking."
"My name is Travis. Barbara gave -"
"Oh, she's `bored' again? The only reason I'm friends with her is that she has good taste in men and never has the sense to hold onto them. I know where your house is because Barbara told me last night. May I come by on Saturday evening?"
"Sure. How's 7:30?"
"Sounds good. And don't bother with a `date'. Be lying naked in your bed and leave the front door unlocked."
"Um... what do you look like? So I know it's you?"
"I'm five-foot-eight, naturally blonde, slim, C-cup breasts, and have a tattoo of the Mona Lisa on my right ass cheek. A leftover from a drunken dare in college."
"So if someone else comes in, the fact they don't have the tattoo will be a dead giveaway."
"Yes. It's very distinctive. One more thing. I'm a bit kinky. I like to blindfold men after I let them see my glorious naked body. I find that having sex with a man who knows what I look like naked but can't actually see me during the act is an incredible turn on for me."
"Sounds great, Kira. See you at 7:30 on Saturday."
Travis was, as instructed, lying naked in his bed Saturday evening. At 7:29, he heard his front door open, then close, and the click of it being locked. There was a rustle of clothing being removed, and a naked, five-foot-eight, slim blonde with C-cup breasts walked into the bedroom. She slowly turned around, and he saw a tattoo of the Mona Lisa on her right ass cheek.
"Welcome to my home, Kira."
"I took the liberty of locking the door. We wouldn't want anyone else to interrupt us."
"A wise decision." Travis pulled back the covers. "Will you join me in the bed?"
Kira smiled. "It would be my pleasure."
The blonde climbed into the bed and without preamble, planted her lips against those of Travis. The two of them kissed and their tongues wrestled. Finally, they broke for air.