Hotwife Confession Journal: Entry 10

Having thoroughly enjoyed staying in bed on Monday, as the afternoon passed I knew our boys would be coming home from school. It was time to get ready for the evening routine. I still had another day or two of vacation in mind when my work phone started ringing. The number was not in my contacts but it was definitely a work extension.

"Hello, this is Nancy," I picked up. I was wrapping myself in a throw blanket, as I got out of bed and started towards my home office, otherwise naked.

"Hi, Nancy. This is [definitely redacted]. Something has come up. I and other members of the administration would like to meet with you tomorrow. It is a closed office matter. So, it would be best if we could do it on site."

"Of course. Happy to meet," I offered trying to sound perfectly professional

"That's great. I'll send a meeting invitation with the time and location."

The call ended. What the hell is that about? That was Greg's boss. So much for approved time off.

...

By the next morning, I was dressed as professionally as I got and sitting nervously in my office, waiting for the meeting with the higher ups. The whole office seemed off. People were quiet. Greg's office light was off, and the door was closed. Sammie sat with me in my office, keeping me company. Nervousness was blossoming into a sense of dread.

Dwayne walked into my office. "Hey, Doctor N. Hey, Sammie," he offered. Even his entrance was more subdued than usual.

"What is going on around here?" Sammie asked him.

"You don't know?!" he asked surprised.

Sammie and I both shook our heads, no.

"It's no secret. It's all over the news," he offered.

Sammie and I looked at each other. It was clear neither of us had checked the news recently.

"Greg got snagged in a bust. He was trying to buy coke over in the east block neighborhood. Cops came in. Got him for possession. Driving under the influence. The whole bit," he said, as though this is already old news. "The news mentioned where he worked. It was big stuff. Rich white guy busted in a rough neighborhood. I just came down from my making my rounds up in Legal. The top brass are going to make a press statement. The CEO maybe. You don't know any of this?"

We both shook our heads again.

"Greg? Cocaine? There's no way!" I said.

It was simply unbelievable. Both Dwayne and Sammie were staring at me like I was born yesterday. Dwayne particularly seemed to be examining my expression. He seemed satisfied with whatever he was looking for. He closed my office door and rejoined us.

"Look. Are we all good?" he asked us both.

Sammie and I looked at each other and then nodded to Dwayne.

"I don't care what people do. I keep my nose out of other people's business, but Greg was not careful about the nose candy," Dwayne started.

Sammie nodded in agreement and brushed her nose again. The gesture sank in finally. I thought her nose was itchy when she did it on Saturday night. She was telling me then that Greg had a coke habit. Shit!

Dwayne continued, looking at me. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about when I texted Sunday. I didn't know if you were down with it too but one of the things I edited out of the videos was Greg hitting the stuff hard right in the middle of the video. I guess he forgot you were recording, or he didn't care. You had left the room, so I couldn't be sure if you knew or not. But it's plain as day."

My jaw hit the floor.

"I'm sorry. I guess this is news," he offered sheepishly.

"This is unfucking real," I said, burying my face in my hands. I have been through substance use disorder with another man. That was hard enough. I swore never again. "He's so fucking done," I concluded.

"Oh, he's done," Dwayne confirmed. "Once the brass found out, he was fired. Facilities packed up his personal stuff, shipped it home, and locked down his work stuff. His lawyer might get him off with a slap on wrist with the law, but he's toast here."

"That's an understatement," I added, trying to hold back tears.

I suddenly worried if I had not been careful enough separating work from... personal stuff. I picked up my personal phone, deleted the contents of the shared drive with Greg and then removed myself from the shared drive. I could not be sure the files on Greg's phone were not saved separately, but severing the tie would have to be enough.

I started to text Greg a 'We're done' message but Dwayne seemed to read my thoughts.

"I wouldn't send any texts," Dwayne cautioned. "His work accounts are certainly being reviewed by HR and who knows about his personal phone. It's just a drug bust, but still. It's best to just stop. No new contact."

There was a tone of wisdom or learned caution in his voice. I set my phone down. I started to sob. Sammie got up and pushed passed Dwayne to give me a hug. I rose and met her embrace. I sobbed harder in her shoulder. Everything was crashing in. Most of all, the meeting I had with the administration felt like the end of all things for my career. They must have found out something. Or suspected. That was enough. I would be out of a job and disgraced as a researcher in less than an hour. I looked up at Dwayne through my blurry eyes. He looked genuinely pained at my sadness. I nodded and opened an arm. He joined in a warm three-way hug. They let me collect my emotions and catch my breath.

The three of us sat and shared silence now. Sammie helped me fix my face, so it was not evident I had been crying. Eventually time ran out.

"Well, time to go get fired," I said with resignation, and got up to make the trip to the executive conference room on the upper floor of my-soon-to-be ex-employer.

...

"With all that in mind, we would like you to take over his position and run, what had been, his departments. You're an outstanding asset to this institution and have the respect of your peers. There is no one else we would want for this role. It will take some time to make it official with HR and settle your new salary. However, we would like you to assume those responsibilities right away, to assure a smooth transition," my new boss finished.

Well, shit.

"I understand the sensitive nature of circumstances. I appreciate your confidence. I am happy to get started right away," I replied, fighting back the sensation to faint.

"Excellent. We will issue an announcement right away and handle the administrative actions. We just ask that you avail yourself of the team members downstairs and assure everyone you have things well in hand," she said. "Oh, and we would prefer it if you declined any inquiries from the press. One hopes this will die down quickly, but it will help if we don't give them anything to print. Just refer any inquiries to our publicity team."

"Happy to," I assured.

...

The walk back to my office....or rather the office that used to be mine (apparently, I get the bigger one at the other end of the floor now), was like walking through a daydream. I had to assure myself Greg's downfall was his own making and actually had nothing to do with me. That jerk. That lying jerk. Maybe he did not lie to me, but he withheld...stuff. Maybe, doing cocaine is not a big deal to some people. But it was to me. I get to decide that. Ugh. Forget him. He's not worth my anger.

I found Dwayne and Sammie right where I left them. They were ready to support me had I been given the dignity of collecting my own things after getting fired. If I had instead been escorted directly out of the building, they were positioned to collect my things for me and sneak them out.

"Lunch. Both of you, I need to be back here as soon as possible," I instructed. I paused, "...please," I added with a smirk.

They each leapt to their feet, eager for an update on what was apparently not an outcome any of us had predicted. However, we only made it a few steps before Sammie raised a hand to her head in recollection.

"Oh, Nanc!," Sammie, said looking at her watch. "I have that Foundation call today. Soon! This morning was so weird I completely forgot. I'm sorry. I can't go." She came up to me and gave me a warm hug. "I'm so glad you're not fired and I hate to do this, but if we are not in an emergency anymore, I really should take this call and not create new problems."

"No. It's fine. Everything will be OK," I assured. "You should take that call."

The news about Greg was still pretty raw for me. The sense of betrayal I felt at his substance use and him being gone from my life stirred up complicated emotions that suggested my relationship with him meant more to me than just sex. But assuring Sammie everything would be OK sounded true on a number of levels. It quieted some of my emotional turmoil and I believed things would be OK, eventually.

"You can catch me up later. Maybe we can do dinner," she offered, then looked at Dwayne. "But you two should still do lunch without me." There was a gleam in her eye as she met eyes with Dwayne.

Dwayne suddenly looked slightly nervous. I looked at Dwayne and felt a sense of gratitude. He had been a friend longer than I once realized, and quite a good friend in recent days. I was not about to turn down a suggestion to take him to lunch.

"Yeah, that will be fun," I said.

Dwayne looked from Sammie to me, then back to Sammie. Then his face brightened and the familiar lighthearted Dwayne was back.

"Sure, that will be great. Let's go, Doctor N," he agreed.

...

Lunch with Dwayne was such fun. It was like we were able to pick up on a conversation we started years ago but have only been having in brief sections with each of his daily visits to my office. He told me all about his family, his mom, and what it was like growing up with Sammie in their old neighborhood. He shared that he and Sammie shared their first kiss. It was innocent kid stuff. They never got into a relationship, remaining friends through adolescence and into adulthood. That helped explain the soft spot Sammie had for Dwayne. A woman never forgets her first kiss, especially when it remains an uncomplicated innocent memory. We shared laughs and stories. I was relaxed and happy, and the drama in my life had the volume turned down considerably. All without a drop of alcohol at the lunch table. Dwayne even began filling me in on his various side-hustles and his diversified income stream strategy. He is a man of many talents, almost all self-taught, and each generates a positive cash flow. But the limo business was what had recently pulled ahead as a steady cash flow, and he was expanding on it. Altogether, he explained, the mail room gig was not his biggest source of revenue and he didn't even need it. However it came with health insurance coverage, something he did not have growing up. He was reluctant to let that go. He added that he enjoyed making his rounds in the building anyway, making friends and connections. He credited his ability to build a network of professional associations and friendships, as well as trading in favors and holding confidences, for his ability to be so valuable and grow his income.

My thoughts went to favors and confidences he held for me. The video. The secrets. The debts? Dwayne seemed to read my expression.

"It's not like that for you, Doctor N," he quickly assured. "It's different for you. You don't owe me anything. Never will." He looked a bit sheepish for a moment. "I actually called in a favor this morning, to help you out," he added and gave me another grin, his confidence coming back to his face.

"FOR me?", I questioned.

"Yeah," he leaned back, looking somewhat proud of himself, now. "When you were deleting stuff on your phone this morning and looking worried, I figured you were concerned about certain files being out in the world." He nodded to himself with a knowing glace. "So, when you went upstairs for your meeting, I went downstairs and called in a favor with an IT guy who owes me a few. He has access to all the files they confiscated from Greg's office."

"Wait, stuff about me is on Greg's work computers?!" I asked growing terrified.

"No, no. Not at all," he assured. "But folks do tend to log into personal accounts on their work computers and save passwords. Greg was sloppy about certain things in his life and I guessed rightly that he would have all sorts of passwords saved on his work computer. It was more than we needed to access and delete Greg's personal cloud files, purge six months or so of device backups, and push a factory reset to his personal phone. Wherever that phone is, it is rebooting, formatting, and resetting because it looks like he requested it." Dwayne shrugged. "Greg will be able to restore his phone and contacts from an old backup we left him. But all his recent file and text history will be gone. Even if the cops get a warrant to search his phone, which seems unlikely for a simple drug bust, they won't be able to find and copy anything that relates to you. That I can promise."

I was dumbfounded at the enormity of the favor Dwayne had just done me.

"And the IT guy?", I asked.

"I didn't tell him why we were doing it, and he didn't want to know. He understands what we were doing isn't strictly legal and the less he knows about why, the better for us both. No questions. Just do the thing and move on like it never happened. That's the nature of a good favor," he concluded, looking slightly smug now.

Six months? That was more than enough to completely erase even the earliest of the flirty texts I had with Greg. The only digital evidence of that entire relationship was now on my phone. The videos now seemed like a cherished prize, rather than the liability they felt like earlier this same morning. The text messages I would delete, as well as some of phone backups. I would not have thought of that.

"Thank you, Dwayne. Really..." I said, my eyes welling up with tears.

I had underestimated the amount of anxiety I was still carrying. With it now draining away, an intense sense of relief overtook me and left me ready to cry. I got up and came around the table. Dwayne stood too and I hugged him warmly. He hugged back, matching my warmth.

"Thank you, so much," I repeated into his shoulder while we embraced.

As we let go of each other, I brushed my lips against his cheek, then pressed in and gave him a warm kiss. It could have been a simple friendly kiss, but I let it linger just a bit too long. Then we composed ourselves and I took some cash out of my wallet to pay for lunch. Leaving more than enough on the table, I put my arm in Dwayne's and we left together to get back to the office. It was time to start settling into my new role.

...

As the workday wound down, Sammie and Dwayne were once again in my office. Well, this time we were all in my new, bigger office. The announcement had been made from upstairs. I was the new boss. That Dwayne and I forgot to even discuss work in the slightest no longer mattered. The whole building was up to speed on my new appointment. Though there were only two coworkers who would get the full story, and they were seated with me now. Even so, we could not discuss it freely here.

Sammie suggested we could all go out for drinks. I declined the involvement of more alcohol. I needed a break from that kind of blurry decision making. Dwayne suggested his place. He recently bought and remodeled a home nearby. It was his first real estate purchase, and he had not hosted anyone other than family so far. He seemed eager to show off a bit to his friends. Plus, he lived alone, and we could talk things through in privacy. I offered to pay for takeout, and we all agreed.

His home was beautiful. The brick exterior was refinished but otherwise matched much of the other homes on the street. The interior was recently renovated and restored. It was decorated as you would imagine a single man would do so, but at least a single man with taste. The furniture looked new and was a coordinated modern style. The living room was clean and comfortable. Soon we were relaxing with dinner and commiserating over the recent turn of events. Each of them insistent that this was all cause for celebration. I had earned my promotion. Greg's downfall was his own doing. His departure from my life should be shrugged off as a short-lived fling with no regrets.

The evening seemed like it would be over before it had really begun when Sammie stood up. She was still chewing a bite of dinner and dusting off her hands when she spoke.

"Dwayne, you have a lovely home. I'm so proud of you," she said, giving him a hug he had to stand up quickly to accept. "I should get home, but you two finish dinner and celebrate."

I rose to give her a hug as well.

To me she said, "No regrets. You are doing everything right. You deserve to move onto bigger, better things. Embrace it and enjoy."

It sounded like she was talking about my career, but it felt like she was giving me permission, encouragement for more.

Then Sammie was gone and the house suddenly grew quiet. Dwayne and I finished dinner, making small talk. Then I helped him clear the takeout and move trash and dishes to the kitchen. As Dwayne was wiping clean a dish at the sink, I leaned and hugged him from behind.

"Thank you again, Dwayne. I mean it. I couldn't get through all of this without great friends like you and Sammie," I offered, resting my head against his back.

Dwayne set the plate beside the sink and turned towards me, with my arms still wrapped around him. Our faces were close now, my eyes searching his. Neither of us seemed surprised when I closed the space between our lips and kissed him. He kissed back. His strong arms wrapped around me, and I let myself rest in his embrace. Our kisses grew more confident, then sensual.

"Show me your room," I said softly.

...

"Would you like to record some of this?" Dwayne ventured, as things heated up in his bedroom.

I pulled back, feeling suddenly guilty that my affections might be misinterpreted as using Dwayne as a pawn in the sex games with my husband.

"Oh, Dwayne. That's not why..." I trailed off. "I really want this."

I sincerely did. If I thought my feelings with Greg had started to get complicated, even if it was only after he had suddenly been ripped from my life; my feelings toward Dwayne were already more so. Dwayne was warm and kind, and there was already a trust with him which never existed with Greg. I can also acknowledge a feeling of immense gratitude towards Dwayne, but not indebtedness. It was gratitude for having a close trusted friendship. I wanted to be close to him. Very close. That he was an attractive, slightly younger man probably helped too.

"I believe you," he assured. "But I don't want the videos you have on your phone to be the last ones you have. I can even do better."

"Better?"

"I've got a camera downstairs in my music recording studio. Used to make the occasional music video. I can do a better job with my own stuff. Not just working from phone cameras. It would just take a minute," he offered.

"Ok," I answered, "I could use the restroom for a minute."

"Great. Meet me right back here," he smiled.

I smiled back and went into this master bathroom. I mostly wanted to check my legs. With all the co-showering with Tom the last few days, I could not be sure I had shaved my legs and mound recently. I hiked up my business length skirt to check my legs. Fortunately, I had shaved. But the panties, ugh! I had dressed conservatively today, thinking only of the meeting I needed to be dressed for. The underwear was comfy staple. It was full cut, faded, not sexy in the least. I could not let Dwayne see these. I slid them off my bare legs and straightened my skirt. With the panties balled up in my hand, I searched myself, then the bathroom for someplace to put them. I had no pockets. My bag was downstairs. Eventually, I tossed them in the trash. It was time to replace them anyway. I spent the next couple of minutes checking my hair and staring at myself in the mirror, questioning whether I knew what I was doing. My reflection and I agreed, I did not. So, we forged ahead with reckless abandon and returned to Dwayne's bedroom.