Lois Lane's Superman Substitute

Lois Lane: Man of Plastic (and D-Cell Batteries)

Set during the time of the Lois Lane/Clark Kent/Superman "love triangle," the Man of Steel's would-be girlfriend gets lonely one late night at the Daily Planet offices ...

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As one of the Daily Planet's star reporters in Metropolis, Lois Lane lived the life of a busy career girl in the big city, and as with most women in a similar position, this had taken its toll on her relationships.

It was difficult for Lois to maintain any sort of relationship. Even though her editor, Perry White, was a much more understanding and compassionate employer than he pretended to be under all that sound and fury, her work schedule was still incredibly demanding, and many were the nights that she spent at the office, well after the rest of the world's regular working hours had long since concluded.

Another thing that she had in common with many working women in the modern world was a lack of any sort of worthwhile romantic companionship. Out of all the men whom she considered to be eligible (unlike a few of her girlfriends and acquaintances, Lois did not believe in going after married men), the only one whom she didn't feel was a total waste of her time was Lex Luthor.

Even Lex, however, was hardly the Prince Charming of whom she'd dreamed as a little girl - rich, powerful, intelligent, yes to all three. But not only was he nearly old enough to be her father, which was slightly unnerving in and of itself; there was also something just generally ... disquieting about Lex's manner, not anything that she could put her finger on, but still, it made her nervous on occasion.

Sad to say, Luthor was probably the most decent romantic companion she'd ever had, since Lois' entire life seemed to be a string of loser would-be boyfriends, dating back to the guy she'd lost her virginity to in high school; he'd made her feel pain, and not much else.

She'd kept telling herself that the next guy would be better than the last, that the one entering her life would actually take the time to attend to her needs, unlike all of the ones who had already exited her life. The unfortunate truth was, Lois was on the verge of hitting her thirties, and none of the men she'd dated had provided her with the least bit of physical pleasure.

But just because she'd never experienced an orgasm from sexual intercourse, that didn't mean Lois had never felt an orgasm - far from it. She had elected to resolve her frustrations in the manner of so many other busy career-oriented women, and had purchased a vibrator to deal with the need that none of her lovers had ever been able to satisfy.

Her first had been a plain white plastic rod, five inches long, obtained discreetly from the Lillian Vernon mail order catalog ... by resting it on her clit, and occasionally sliding it inside of her, Lois was able to get herself off, although the orgasms she experienced were never what she would classify as even remotely adequate.

But ever since Superman had first appeared in Metropolis, Lois had felt the need for something ... more. And now, as she prepared to spend another late night in the office, all by her lonesome, she opened the desk drawer that she kept locked during the day, to give herself the pick-me-up that would give her the energy to make it through the rest of her extended evening.

She had stopped masturbating at home, ever since her kid sister Lucy had moved back into her apartment (Lucy was between places at the moment, which was a regrettably often state of affairs for her), and Lucy had walked in on her, at the exact moment that Lois had climaxed around her new toy; neither sister had been able to look the other in the eye for days after that.

Lois now reached into her desk drawer, and retrieved the vibrator that had replaced her old Lillian Vernon model.

It was, in a word, huge – she had purchased it after finally noticing how well Superman filled out his red super-shorts.

Lois was hardly a "size queen," unlike, say, Cat Grant, a fellow reporter who must have carried a ruler around on her at all times, since she could give you the exact inch measurement of every guy she'd ever slept with.

Nonetheless, Lois couldn't help but register how "super" the hero of Metropolis was, especially when he was catching her as she fell from tall buildings, and his super-shorts were pressed up against her mini-skirt ... he must have been well over a foot long, and as thick around as her wrist!

By contrast, most of her lovers had been so small that, after intercourse had stopped being painful, she could barely feel her sex partners inside of her at all.

What would it feel like, she often wondered ... to have THAT thing inside of her?

Given the fact that Lois was pretty sure she would never know from firsthand experience, she had decided to settle for the next best option, and obtain the largest dildo that she could find.

Whenever she still used the old Lillian Vernon plain white five-incher, it was because she wanted gentle clitoral stimulation, but now, when Lois broke out the "super-cock," it was because she wanted to feel the sensation of being well and truly fucked, preferably by one man in particular.

After coating the long, thick shaft with lubricant, she hiked her mini-skirt up above her hips, leaned back in her swivel chair, propped her spread legs up on opposite ends of her desk, and pulled her already soaked-through panties to one side of her crotch.

Turning the dial on the vibrating dildo to its maximum setting, Lois slowly eased its girth into her womanhood, wincing at its size, but determined to live out her fantasy of getting fucked by the Man of Steel, albeit by proxy.

She imagined Superman leaning over her, his powerful hands gripping her by the ankles and flinging her legs even further apart, as his massive manhood thrust all the way inside of her with one swift motion, causing her to cry out in an inseparable mix of pain and pleasure.

Whimpering with effort, Lois gritted her teeth and strained to ease inch after inch of her gigantic toy inside of herself, desperately arching her hips up into the air, even as she frantically pumped the enormous dildo in and out of her yearning opening, fighting against the tightly clenched muscles of her own vaginal passage with each stroke.

Lex was probably the most well-endowed lover she'd ever had, but even he couldn't have been much more than four inches or so, if he was even that big.

Lois shut her eyes tight, and tried to block the image of Luthor out of her mind, since he was just one more sad reminder of the pitiful selection of men that she had to choose from in her life - hick Midwestern milksops like that nerdy Clark Kent, post-adolescent hormone-balls like that geeky Jimmy Olsen, and often impotent, always inadequate substitute father figures like Lex himself - all of whom merely served to remind her that she would never find a Superman of her own, that the only sexual pleasures she would ever know would come from her own hand, the massaging shower head in her apartment, and assorted pieces of vibrating plastic (powered by endless replacements of D-cell batteries, not included).

This moment of cynical clarity almost made her want to cry, except that Lois Lane didn't cry, and certainly not about the sorry state of her love life ... instead, she redirected her attentions back to the needy area between her legs, redoubling her efforts with a renewed assault that made her emit a brief shriek of intermingled agony and ecstasy.

After all, even if she was doomed to a lifetime of nothing but lousy lays in real life, at least Lois could be satisfied by a real man in her fantasies.

She gripped her vibrator with both hands, and humped the lifeless appliance with every ounce of energy she possessed, pretending that it was her Man of Steel who was pounding away inside of her instead, jabbing her cervix harder and faster with each stroke, until the sensations at last overwhelmed her, and she shouted out her dream lover's name as her titanic toy brought her to a crashing orgasm.

"OH, CLARK!" she screamed, sobbing with release, as she threw her head back and allowed her body to convulse in the throes of the first truly satisfying orgasm she had ever experienced in her life.

In the afterglow of her pleasure, Lois couldn't be bothered to wonder why she had called out her co-worker's name, instead of her hero's - all that concerned her now, as she wiped the vibrator clean, was recapturing the mind-blowing sensation that had washed over her, barely minutes ago.

"So, Superman," she breathed in a husky voice, sliding her panties down to her ankles and spreading the puffy pads of her neatly trimmed pubic mound apart with her fingers, "You up for Round Two? Oh, silly me, that's right. Of course you are. You're the Man of Steel, after all," she whispered to the dildo, choking back another series of sobs as she shoved its full length inside of herself, all at once, and fucked herself as roughly as she could stand.

Thanks to the soundproof glass of the Daily Planet's offices, only one person overheard Lois, as she moaned, wailed, sobbed, swore, screamed and thrashed her way through several more hours of frenzied masturbation, but his only reaction was to smirk softly, and continue his nightly patrol, as he flew vigilantly over the buildings and streets of Metropolis.