Chapter 15 - Muiri
*****
Every day that passed since Astrid departed, I would find myself thinking long and hard about whether I would make that leap. Sure, I'd killed plenty of people before, when working for the Fighter's Guild, and when working for the Thieves Guild, but I could justify in my mind that those deaths were necessary. Most of the time, I was defending myself.
But I had murdered two people. I didn't count Alain. He was a bandit and deserved what he got, just like Mercer Frey. Nilsine, though. Despite what she did to Muiri, she was still an innocent. And despite Grelod being who she was, she was technically an innocent. They were defenceless when I killed them.
It was two cases of clear cut murder.
"Something on your mind, boss?" Brynjolf asked me about a week after Astrid's visit, sharing a tankard with he and Delvin.
"Aye. An offer Astrid made last week."
"You saw her again?" Delvin asked, and I near enough laughed at his surprised tone.
"Yes, she stayed the night."
The look on both their faces was absolutely priceless. Brynjolf just started to laugh. I eventually reached across the table to shut Delvin's jaw. "She's a married woman, boss. Isn't that the reason why you left Cyrodiil?"
"She told me she was married. She told me about her husband. And she told me she hadn't been intimate with him in years."
"Why not?" Brynjolf wondered.
"Not my place to say. But there's a good and valid reason why she stayed with me. And as for what's on my mind, she made me an offer to work for her."
"As an assassin?"
"Aye."
"That's quite the leap from being a thief, lad," Brynjolf stated, "I know we've taken lives. You killed Mercer Frey. But there's a difference between the killing we have done to rebuild the Guild, and the killing one would do on behalf of the Brotherhood. Are you sure you can deal with that?"
"I'll be honest. Killing Alain wasn't a problem, not after what he did to Muiri. And Grelod was rather personal, it just happened that the young lad giving me the contract didn't like her either. No, it was the third kill, Nilsine, that suggested... I'm not sure, but maybe I'm suited to it?"
"No guilt?" Delvin wondered.
"Haven't felt any yet. As far as I'm concerned, two of the three deaths were deserved. But Muiri wanted Nilsine dead..."
The two shared a knowing glance. "Like her, eh?"
"Yes, Bryn. I have a lot of affection for her. And that is returned, which is why she's now in Riften. But as for Astrid and her offer, part of me thinks I should give it a go. The Guild is running smoothly. Do you need my presence here every day? Quite frankly, it will run smoothly as long as you or Karliah are here. I'll pop in every now and then, and if anything goes drastically wrong, then contact me."
"You'll stay in Riften?"
"Of course. I have no reason to move."
"Astrid would rather you stayed at the Sanctuary," Devlin stated.
"That's not happening. I've made a home for myself here, plus my friends are here too. Those I sleep with, and those I don't. I'm not dropping it all for her offer just yet."
"Whatever you decide, tread carefully, boss. Joining the Brotherhood is not a decision taken lightly," Delvin warned. I would heed that warning before making a decision.
Instead of making a decision too soon, in addition to continuing our research into Daedric artefacts, Muiri asked if I would escort her around the lake, as she wanted to gather fresh supplies for her apothecary. She had proven to be a rather adept alchemist already. I was happy to do so, and asked how long we would be gone. She suggested more than a couple of nights, so I bought some food supplies, and as I already had camping equipment, we looked over a map and decided on a route. We would take the south gate and follow the shore of Lake Honrich, where we would eventually cross to the north side over the Treva River, and return to Riften via the northern shore. We could probably do all that in one night, but Muiri wanted a few days away, for two reasons. One, because she legitimately wanted supplies, and would spend plenty of times looking for some rare ingredients. And, two, she wanted time alone with me. I would have happily joined her for the first reason alone, but the second was an even better reason.
We left a rather crisp but sunny Middas morning. I carried all the camping supplies along with my weapons, Muiri carried a small backpack with a change of clothes and space for her ingredients. I managed to leave a hand free, and we walked along hand in hand for a while, following the road south. Walking at no more than a stroll, she would stop every so often as something caught her eye. She would occasionally pick something and place it in her backpack. Others she would leave alone.
"Anything in particular you are looking for?"
"Not really. There are certain things that simply won't grow around here. It's just a matter of keeping an eye out."
"What sort of potions are you planning on brewing?"
"I usually brew potions to help people. I generally try and avoid poisons. Particularly now, after everything that's happened."
I grabbed her hand and squeezed. "You did nothing wrong. Are you feeling guilty?"
"Not at all. But it still weighs heavy on the conscience."
I stopped us and immediately moved a hand to her face, caressing her cheek, earning one of those sweet smiles. "Anything I can do to help?"
"Stay with me. That's all I want. You're the man who helped me when no-one else could or would. I'll always love you for that." I couldn't help smile, as although she'd mentioned love before, that was the first time she'd properly said it. "Do you feel the same way about me, Ragnar?"
