Chapter 15 - Muiri
*****
Every day that passed since Astrid departed, I would find myself thinking long and hard about whether I would make that leap. Sure, I'd killed plenty of people before, when working for the Fighter's Guild, and when working for the Thieves Guild, but I could justify in my mind that those deaths were necessary. Most of the time, I was defending myself.
But I had murdered two people. I didn't count Alain. He was a bandit and deserved what he got, just like Mercer Frey. Nilsine, though. Despite what she did to Muiri, she was still an innocent. And despite Grelod being who she was, she was technically an innocent. They were defenceless when I killed them.
It was two cases of clear cut murder.
"Something on your mind, boss?" Brynjolf asked me about a week after Astrid's visit, sharing a tankard with he and Delvin.
"Aye. An offer Astrid made last week."
"You saw her again?" Delvin asked, and I near enough laughed at his surprised tone.
"Yes, she stayed the night."
The look on both their faces was absolutely priceless. Brynjolf just started to laugh. I eventually reached across the table to shut Delvin's jaw. "She's a married woman, boss. Isn't that the reason why you left Cyrodiil?"
"She told me she was married. She told me about her husband. And she told me she hadn't been intimate with him in years."
"Why not?" Brynjolf wondered.
"Not my place to say. But there's a good and valid reason why she stayed with me. And as for what's on my mind, she made me an offer to work for her."
"As an assassin?"
"Aye."
"That's quite the leap from being a thief, lad," Brynjolf stated, "I know we've taken lives. You killed Mercer Frey. But there's a difference between the killing we have done to rebuild the Guild, and the killing one would do on behalf of the Brotherhood. Are you sure you can deal with that?"
"I'll be honest. Killing Alain wasn't a problem, not after what he did to Muiri. And Grelod was rather personal, it just happened that the young lad giving me the contract didn't like her either. No, it was the third kill, Nilsine, that suggested... I'm not sure, but maybe I'm suited to it?"
"No guilt?" Delvin wondered.
"Haven't felt any yet. As far as I'm concerned, two of the three deaths were deserved. But Muiri wanted Nilsine dead..."
The two shared a knowing glance. "Like her, eh?"
"Yes, Bryn. I have a lot of affection for her. And that is returned, which is why she's now in Riften. But as for Astrid and her offer, part of me thinks I should give it a go. The Guild is running smoothly. Do you need my presence here every day? Quite frankly, it will run smoothly as long as you or Karliah are here. I'll pop in every now and then, and if anything goes drastically wrong, then contact me."
"You'll stay in Riften?"
"Of course. I have no reason to move."
"Astrid would rather you stayed at the Sanctuary," Devlin stated.
"That's not happening. I've made a home for myself here, plus my friends are here too. Those I sleep with, and those I don't. I'm not dropping it all for her offer just yet."
"Whatever you decide, tread carefully, boss. Joining the Brotherhood is not a decision taken lightly," Delvin warned. I would heed that warning before making a decision.
Instead of making a decision too soon, in addition to continuing our research into Daedric artefacts, Muiri asked if I would escort her around the lake, as she wanted to gather fresh supplies for her apothecary. She had proven to be a rather adept alchemist already. I was happy to do so, and asked how long we would be gone. She suggested more than a couple of nights, so I bought some food supplies, and as I already had camping equipment, we looked over a map and decided on a route. We would take the south gate and follow the shore of Lake Honrich, where we would eventually cross to the north side over the Treva River, and return to Riften via the northern shore. We could probably do all that in one night, but Muiri wanted a few days away, for two reasons. One, because she legitimately wanted supplies, and would spend plenty of times looking for some rare ingredients. And, two, she wanted time alone with me. I would have happily joined her for the first reason alone, but the second was an even better reason.
We left a rather crisp but sunny Middas morning. I carried all the camping supplies along with my weapons, Muiri carried a small backpack with a change of clothes and space for her ingredients. I managed to leave a hand free, and we walked along hand in hand for a while, following the road south. Walking at no more than a stroll, she would stop every so often as something caught her eye. She would occasionally pick something and place it in her backpack. Others she would leave alone.
"Anything in particular you are looking for?"
"Not really. There are certain things that simply won't grow around here. It's just a matter of keeping an eye out."
"What sort of potions are you planning on brewing?"
"I usually brew potions to help people. I generally try and avoid poisons. Particularly now, after everything that's happened."
I grabbed her hand and squeezed. "You did nothing wrong. Are you feeling guilty?"
"Not at all. But it still weighs heavy on the conscience."
I stopped us and immediately moved a hand to her face, caressing her cheek, earning one of those sweet smiles. "Anything I can do to help?"
"Stay with me. That's all I want. You're the man who helped me when no-one else could or would. I'll always love you for that." I couldn't help smile, as although she'd mentioned love before, that was the first time she'd properly said it. "Do you feel the same way about me, Ragnar?"
"By the Eight, yes!" I leaned down to kiss her, though with all the supplies I was carrying, it was a little awkward.
We carried on walking, Muiri with a smile on her face nearly the entire time, happily humming to herself when she went off to pick her flowers or other things. If there was a rock or boulder, I could at least take a seat and drop our supplies for a moment. She knew I was watching her at times. She was a petite little thing, or at least she was compared to myself. Each time she was happy with gathering what she wanted, she'd wander over to where I was waiting, give me a kiss, then take my hand to move us on.
I knew we would be longer than I expected when we camped that night, and I knew from the map that we hadn't covered all that much ground. I certainly wasn't going to complain, and I knew Muiri definitely wasn't. She never complained about the arrangement, but I knew more than any of the women I was with, she was desperate to have me all to herself. Part of the reason why I easily agreed to go with her now.
Sitting side by side on a log after we'd eaten dinner, I had an arm around her waist as she leaned into me, one of her hands on my chest. "Thank you for helping me."
"Not required, Muiri."
"I know, but I'll thank you each day we're away. I know you have..."
I gave her a squeeze, stopping the sentence. "I had nothing else planned, and I would have cancelled any plans I did have otherwise."
"I'm going to ensure I go even slower tomorrow," she said with a giggle.
"And I won't complain one little bit."
Naked under the furs later, we made love. As I've said previously, I knew I would never 'fuck' Muiri, unless that's what she asked for. Resting on my forearms, my thrusts inside her were slow, just hard enough to provoke a smile and hit the right spots inside her. Her legs were wrapped around me, lifting herself up so the angle I was inside her definitely felt good for her. Our mouths barely parted, her fingers digging into my back as I slowly thrust into her.
"I love you," she whispered, "Gods, I love you, Ragnar."
I couldn't help smile at her in the light of the fire, watching her smile in return. "And I love you, Muiri."
She kissed me hard, the sort of kiss that conveyed far more feelings than words ever could. This was a woman who was now nothing more than devoted to me. If I'd asked her to marry me then and there, there was no doubt to her saying yes. Part of me was even ready to ask. Instead, I focused on ensuring she climaxed with me. Somehow, it worked, as she cried out as I came inside her. It was only once she'd come down from the high that she blinked rapidly, our kisses barely slowing nor lacking in passion despite our joint climax. When I made to move to lie beside her, she asked me to stay in place. "I love it when you're inside me," she admitted quietly. She wiggled underneath me, gasping as my still rather hard cock must have hit a good spot.
Wrapping an arm around the back of her neck, I relaxed above her, just gazing at her in the low light. She knew why I was looking, and there's no doubt she blushed slightly. I had a conundrum, as I now felt torn between her and Haelga. I liked Ingun, and adored Karliah, but it was Haelga and Muiri who I loved above all. And I wondered if I was eventually going to have to make a decision. And I figured it would be the woman I was currently with who might ask me to make that choice.
Lying next to her later, her petite body spooned against my larger one, even her hands being much smaller than my own, she sighed with contentment, constantly snuggling backwards, complimenting me on my body warmth. "I'll admit something, Muiri. You're the first Breton I've ever been with."
"Really?" I made a sound of agreement. "And what do you think of us?"
"Well, if they're all like you..."
She laughed lightly. "Well, we are generally smaller than you Nords. Then again, you're a specimen all on your own, Ragnar." She turned around to face me, running a hand down my cheek, over my shoulder and down my arm. "I'm a very lucky woman to have someone like you lying against me."
"How do you think I feel, having a sweet little thing like you with me? Then again, I think you're practically perfect."
