Should I do it? I think I will. I am going to bring him his Valentine's gift at work. That will surprise him to no end. He has been after me to get out of the house for over two years. Ever since I was in the car accident that left me scarred, I have not dared to go out into the world.
I am scared of cars, scared of traffic lights, scared of everything. I have to overcome these fears. I know that I am scarred, and I know that everyone has told me that it isn't as bad as I think it is, but I have to overcome these psychological fears by myself, and I know that if I don't do it today, it won't happen. What is it that scares me? I have to tell you. On New Year's Day a few years ago I was hit by another vehicle. I was driving to my in-law's house and I was late, so I was speeding a bit. Taking all that into account, the accident was not my fault. The pick-up truck slid through the stop sign and ran directly into the driver's door on my car. Shattering glass is what has scarred me on the left side of my face and my arm.
When I asked what my husband would like for Valentine's Day, he simply said that he would love to have the "old me" back again. Everyone has taken to calling me Val because I have been anything but, as my name implies, anyone's Valentine. Yes, my name is Valentine. I have been working on trying to find her, but I am not having much luck. Before Christmas I was actually able to get into the car - although it was not running - and sit there for a while before I got completely freaked out and had to run back into the house before anybody saw me. Since then, I have been working on staying in the car for longer and longer periods time. As it has gotten colder I have had to turn the car on to get the heat.
One time one of the neighbors saw me leaving the car and called out to me. As soon as I got back inside I was actually able to call her on the phone and we talked for quite a while. It seems that she has been watching me and making sure that nothing happened to me when I was putting my time in, in the car.
My husband knows nothing of this. I have wanted to be able to surprise him and drive to his work to pick him up for a romantic night out. I know that I am pushing it, but I have to do this. I have only been working on this for just over a month, but I have to drive to the Hotel and get the room all ready. I have to make sure that all of the orders that I have made have come to pass. I ordered all of my husband's favorites and I have also ordered a bottle of champagne with some chocolate covered strawberries. Those are for me.
Early in the New Year I ordered a new negligee for myself and I actually talked a friend of mine into coming today and giving me a hair cut and a new style that I know my husband will like.
Okay, here goes everything. I put everything in the car and I drive it down the street. Coming up to the first stop sign I have to steel myself as I apply the brakes and come to a gentle halt. Making sure that there is not a vehicle in sight I gently pull out onto the otherwise busy street. By the time I drive into the valet parking at the Hotel my nerves are shattered and I am not sure how I am going to be able to do this. Since I am so early, I get us checked in and go up to the room. Upon entering I see that the roses are there and so are the chocolates and the sodas. I can not believe that I am actually here. I decide to take a quick shower before going back out on the roads.
I am glad that I was able to purchase the new clothes for us online, since I have our entire evening planned and it includes a concert by Celtic Woman. I didn't think my husband would like going to that dressed as he will be at work considering he works in a factory. I bought him a new suit, a red shirt and a black and red tie. For myself I was able to find just the right gown and cape that I figured I could be comfortable in. I used some old contacts and was able to get the use of their corporate box at the arena, and was told that whatever we wanted while we were there was on them.