The Misogynist

Two people, drawn together by a bet, meet, perhaps fall in love, but separate, one to pursue another love and the continuation of a career, the other to salvage a business and forget the heartache. As each grapples with their demons they plod forward; spinning off, errant comets into different realities. They wonder if the decisions they made were good ones or were their choices just a series of incidental emotional blunders. They wonder where their decisions will lead them, happiness, loneliness, heartache, maybe despair.

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Two one time almost sweethearts found adrift aimlessly, apart and alone. Do they wonder where the other is? Has he or she found someone else? Are they happy? Do they feel the same gnawing ache?

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Cheryl had spent her life in a world of unreality, of dreams, fantasy men, make believe heroes. First Turner satisfied every wishful thought, the perfect man, the caring lover, but an unreal dream was shattered by his deceit and her denials. Then there was Martin, Turner's best friend, a man drawn by her sincerity. He attested true love, but admitted complicity in the first man's wickedness. Could he be trusted? Cheryl assumed the worst. She drove him away. Last was Allyn, perfect education, perfect background, perfect avocation, perfect man, but he had a thing for drugs and so it ended.

Was Cheryl the victim of external forces, or was she the victim of her own imaginings? Had she fended off three wrong headed self serving men, or had she discarded the gold in the pan because of the filth in the stream? She just didn't know.

Then there was the heroic Martin. He'd been the great man's best friend never knowing that it was his inner strength that was the source of the other man's power. Without Martin Turner was nothing. Then Martin rose to the rescue of the woman. But in his success was his own undoing. In rescuing Cheryl he unleashed her moral strength. As she grew he ebbed. He loved her but couldn't articulate the way he felt. The more he tried the further he pushed her away.

Here were two star crossed lovers, if ever two such people existed. Could their lives be saved? Was there to be a happily ever after to this story, or would these two good people continue to drift, one off into lonely spinsterhood, the other into a solitary life devoted to the grim acquisition of wealth. Only God or perhaps the seating decisions of the head waitress at a classy downtown restaurant had the answer.

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Cheryl and three girlfriends got out of the car at the same time. They were early for lunch, but knew it was easier getting a table before noon rather than later. It was one of those quarterly professional days. The morning had been spent listening to some older guy talk about how they should be teaching their classes.

Most of them bet the guy hadn't seen the inside of a classroom in twenty years, but that wasn't what they'd come to gab about. Another new teacher had shown up two days earlier replacing a young mother to be. The new teacher was a mature man, maybe thirty or so. He'd been hired through a Federal program called Teach for America.

They'd found out the guy was a Coast Guardsman who'd dropped out after two stints in the Middle East. He wasn't married, and apparently didn't have anybody on line. All the girls had been trying to find someone for Cheryl since Allyn turned out to be a stinker. They were already plotting how they could get the new man and Cheryl hooked up. Cheryl laughed them off.

As they were seated one of the girls, Debbie, opined, "We all just feel horrible for you ever since we found out what a jerk Allyn turned out to be."

A second girl, Faye, interjected. "The new guy looks pretty good. You could do worse."

Then another, Alice, piped up. "You need a man Cheryl. You're too pretty to go around unattached."

Cheryl countered their arguments. "I don't know. I'm already a three time loser. I think it's the single life for me."

Debbie butted in. "Three. I thought there were only two."

Faye spoke up. "Yes. You only mentioned the creep from the summer and Allyn. Who's number three?"

"Well the creep from the summer had a best friend who kept trying to get to me. I held him off." Beyond that Cheryl was noncommittal.

Faye proffered. "You were right. The creep's best friend was probably just as creepy. He only wanted to get you know what."

Cheryl chided her friend. "Not really. The best friend I think might really have had feelings for me. I just couldn't handle him knowing who his friend was."

Alice clapped her hands. "Bang, bang you shot him down."

Cheryl interrupted. "Not exactly."

Debbie added. "Bang, bang he hit the ground."

Before Cheryl got in any more all three sang in harmony. "Bang, bang ole Cheryl shot him down."

"No it wasn't like that at all. We talked and he said he wanted what I wanted. He wouldn't try to hold me if I didn't want him."

Faye was spot on. "Uh oh, sounds to me like he might have been a keeper."

Cheryl laughed. "I still have his cell phone number if you want it."

Debbie popped up. "If you didn't want him, why have you held on to his number?"

Cheryl gave her a confused look. "I don't know. I guess I just never cleaned out my contact list."

Alice held out her hand. "Here, give me your phone and I'll delete it for you."

Cheryl answered. "No that's all right."

Debbie giggled. "Uh oh, somebody's still got a thing for someone."

Cheryl was piqued. "No I just don't want to clean my contact list yet."

Faye bubbled up. "Oh sure, we get it."

Cheryl was getting tired of the conversation. "Can't we change the subject?"

Alice wouldn't quit. "Yes, she's still carrying the flag."

Debbie scolded. "Let's shift gears. What do you think? Is it too soon to start thinking about baby showers and baby gifts?"

Cheryl's love life was dropped. There were too many other more important things to investigate, and they only had a little while.

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As the girls were chattering about boys, babies, careers, and students another group was being seated on the other side of the restaurant. Their conversation followed a similar pattern.

Five men were seated; Brian, Fred, Bill, Robin, and Martin. All were involved in the development of the same product. Each had his own area of expertise. It was a good group. They'd found each other almost by accident, and over the last three years had worked in harmony.

Martin in one respect though, was the odd man out. All the others were married and had children. Worried about their friend the married four had made it a secondary project to hook Martin up with a likely marital candidate. So far they hadn't much luck.

While they waited for the menus and their opening drinks Brian quipped. "Hey Martin, found anybody yet?"

"Haven't had time to look, been busy."

Robin asked. "Busy? Doing what?"

"You ought to know Robin it's been on your end where we've hit the snags."

"Oh low blow," Chirped Bill. "Still that begs the question. When are you going to introduce us to somebody?"

"Right," Said Fred. "My wife wants to meet someone."

"I'll let you know."

From there the men drifted into conversation about the product they were developing and the upcoming sales show. Things were looking good. If all went according to plan they'd not only have a good product to sell, but they'd make a tidy piece of change in the process. They'd agreed to put most of whatever they made into more research.

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On the other side of the restaurant the girls had ordered their salads and iced teas. Talk about men and the new guy had ebbed Conversation centered on children and what they were eating. Being teachers lunch breaks were short, and what with fighting traffic back to school they were nearly out of time. They asked for their check and stood up to leave.

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Back with the men, most were on their second drink. Their lunch could last longer since their meeting wasn't till late. They were in no hurry.

Just as their food arrived Brian looked up. "Hey Martin, Isn't that the girl you were dating this summer?"

Robin chirped again. "You mean was trying to date."

Martin turned to look, as he turned his friends looked up as well.

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It was hard not to notice five men all at one table staring at the same group of women. One of the women noticed. "Does anybody know any of those guys over there?"

The women all turned and spotted the ogling men.

Martin recognized her first. His face turned to ash. All his buddies were laughing and talking. Only Martin was still.

Cheryl saw him. He looked white as a sheet, like he'd seen a ghost. She turned her head pretending she hadn't seen him. The other girls knew better. They caught the look on her face. This was someone she didn't want to talk about.

As they continued out the door Alice asked. "Did you know that one man Cheryl?"

"No. Never saw any of them before."

The girls knew she was lying. No one said anything.

As they stepped from the restaurant to the parking elevator Debbie had to get in one more. "I don't know Cheryl, but if he is the one who matches the phone number you won't delete, give it to me I'll call him."

"It wasn't him. If it was he's a creep."

Faye heard that. "Didn't look like a creep to me."

Alice was there. "He's a fox. Maybe I'll go back." She made as if to go back.

Cheryl intercepted her. "Come on we have to get back to school."

Faye added. "Looked like a fox to me."

Cheryl tried to shut it off. "I didn't know the man."

Faye had a comeback. "You mean know as in the Bible or know as in know?"

Cheryl was losing patience. "Give it up will you?"

Faye hammered back. "No you give it up."

"OK it was him. Satisfied?"

Faye still wasn't done. "You still like him don't you?"

"Please!" Cheryl couldn't think of anything else to say.

All the women, all the way back kept quiet. They knew a little more about Cheryl. There was someone still out there, someone she at least thought about anyway.

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Back at the table Martin regained his composure. "Yes that's her."

"Yes and she sure saw you pal," Quipped Brian.

Robin added, "She's quite a looker."

Martin retorted, "Shut up Robin."

None of the men pursued it. They knew an injured player when they saw one. They left him alone.

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The mens business meeting went pretty much the way they expected it. They got some information and gave some up. The five member team that included Martin agreed to meet again in a week to reassess where they were. Until then they each had their own work to do. Martin got back in his vehicle and started home. It was a long drive and he had a lot to think about.

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Back at school Cheryl spent the rest of day hiding in her room, arranging posters, cleaning boards, and rechecking grades. She had no desire to get hooked up with any of the other women. She was afraid they'd bring up the man at the restaurant. When school time was over she packed up her materials and drove back home to her apartment.

That evening Martin just couldn't get interested in anything. He'd seen her again. She looked more beautiful than ever. She'd been wearing a white blouse and a black skirt. Her hair was done up in a bun, and even from a distance he could see she was wearing pearls. Were they the pearls he'd bought her? He hoped so. He had her phone number. Should he call her? No. She was probably busy with that Allyn fellow. As far as he was concerned Cheryl was out of his life. Why did he have to see her again?

Cheryl went home and microwaved some chicken nuggets. Maybe a little more salad and a nugget or two would settle her stomach. She had to unwind. She went in the bedroom, took off her clothes and lay down. How long had it been since he'd been here? He'd used this bed. She could still imagine his scent of Old Spice.

She remembered how frail and weak he was. She hadn't been fair. It hadn't been right comparing Allyn with Martin. Allyn had just come back from South America. He'd been in the best of health. Martin had just sustained a concussion. He'd suffered a concussion saving her. She slapped herself. Don't think that way. No mistaken gratitude. She wasn't going after anybody out of gratitude or guilt.

Did she love him? She didn't know. What she did know was she was always thinking about him, worrying, wondering. Had he fully recovered? What if he still had those terrible headaches? Had he regained his equilibrium? What if he'd found a new girlfriend? He probably had. Like Faye had said he was a fox. He was a fox too. She hadn't thought about that in a long time. Any girl would have been glad to be his girl. What was wrong with her?

Cheryl curled in a fetal position. She took her fingers and started to touch herself. She felt up and down her special place. She used her hand and squeezed it. She reprimanded herself for being so weak. She pinched where it was most sensitive. She hadn't done anything like this in weeks. She kept thinking about Martin. She kept rubbing up and down her furrow. She felt warm and she was getting wet inside. She pinched again. She wondered what it might be like to be in bed with him. She kept rubbing. She took her hands and pushed her breasts together. Using her palms she rubbed over her aureole till her nipples started to engorge. Cheryl rubbed her left cheek against the pillow. She wiped a few errant tears from her eyes. She drifted in and out somewhere between sleep, arousal, and remorse. Oh Martin she thought. Martin what if it really was supposed to be you?

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Two hours and ninety miles away a lonely man was jogging. He'd tried push ups. They hadn't worked. He did a couple dozen sit ups. He hated them and stopped. Maybe he'd jump in the river. The water would be icy cold. He wasn't one for sexual self stimulation, but he'd thought about it all the way home. He stopped in the middle of the dark road. No one was looking. He bent over, put his hands to his face and started to cry. He was no sissy, and he certainly wasn't a crier, but sometimes the tears just came out. He'd done so well for so long, but seeing her today. He just couldn't help it. He slowly started to walk back home.

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Up in the city a lonely woman reached for her cell phone. She punched up the forbidden number. She didn't dial it. She just looked at it. She could go down to a phone booth and dial it from there. He'd answer it. She'd hear his voice. There would be no way he'd know it was her.

What if she punched in his number right now but hung up before he answered. He'd check the number. Would he remember? He'd remember. He'd bought the phone. He'd know she'd called. What would he do then? She punched the number. It rang. She let it ring just two times and hung up. OK let's see what happens. She put the phone down. She went back to touching herself and thinking about the man she'd called, no hadn't called.

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Martin got home. He thought he'd better check his cell phone. Maybe one of the guys had called about something. He picked it up, punched the green button. He saw it! Only one call! Hers! Cheryl had called him. He stared at the number. He was frozen, frozen with fear, excitement, dread, delight.

Martin punched up her number. It rang. Someone picked up the other end. Hello? It was her. "Hello. Cheryl?"

"Yes this is she."

"This is Martin. Had you called earlier?"

"Why yes." She had to be careful. "I saw you today and was wondering how you'd made out since your injury."

He hesitated. She sounded so wonderful. Her voice was a soprano and had a beautiful childlike innocence. "It took a while, but the headaches did go away. Every now and then I still get dizzy, but it passes pretty quickly." He couldn't let it stop there. Not now! "How have you been?"

She listened to his voice. She'd forgotten its natural manly resonance. His voice had a strong, healthy, reassuring quality. "I'm fine." She had to say something more. "School's going well. I have some new students who I've been able to help." She wanted to keep it going. "What have you been up to?"

What a relief. "I've got my business back on track. We were at a preliminary meeting today when we, I, saw you." He needed to say something nice no he better not. "I read today was a professional day for teachers. I'm glad you guys get those things. Teachers work hard."

Cheryl had to find out the other thing. "I was wondering are you seeing anyone."

What should he say? If he lied and pretended to be seeing someone it might cut everything off, but of he told the truth she might think he was still carrying a torch. Shit! He was still carrying a torch. "No I'm not seeing anybody." He had to ask. "Are you seeing anyone?"

"I was dating Allyn. You remember him?"

"Yes."

"That didn't work. Right now I'm going solo."

"Me too." Oh please hold your tongue ass hole. Don't make a fool of yourself.

She was out of gas. She wanted to keep it going. She wanted to invite him out. She didn't, "Well it was nice talking to you."

Martin was dying. He kept mentally yelling into the phone don't hang up. Please stay on the line. He had to say something, "I uh."

Cheryl interrupted, "Maybe we could see each other some time."

He breathed the sigh of a man on death row who'd just been given a reprieve, "That would be nice. I'll be back in town on Saturday."

"Oh."

"Yes my old college is playing they're crosstown rival. It's always a good game."

Cheryl answered too quickly and regretted it, "I don't like football."

Crushed again Martin responded, "Oh OK. Well maybe."

Cheryl kept it going, "Maybe we could meet for coffee before the game?"

He was saved! "That would be great, I mean very nice. Did you have any place in mind?"

"You remember the coffee shop in the bookstore?"

"What time?"

"How about 11:00?"

Martin was back in business! "11:00 sounds fine."

"OK. See you then."

"OK. Till then." They both hung up at the same time.

Martin jumped for joy. He had another chance. He was going to see her again. He had to decide what to wear. He'd get two tickets from his friend. Maybe she'd like to go? Maybe it would rain and they wouldn't have to. Maybe he'd just decide not to go. He could make up some reason. If he had tickets and it was reasonably warm maybe she'd go. No, if he got to see her he didn't want to waste good talking time watching football. Nothing was going to spoil this. He'd figure out something. Tonight he knew he'd be awake all night. He was too excited. He stuffed his feet back in his jogging shoes. He couldn't sit still, not now!

Cheryl got up and sat beside the bed. Had she done the right thing? She wasn't sure. What was she saying? Was she crazy? Of course it was the right thing. He'd been in her thoughts every waking moment since he'd left. Turner and Allyn were nothing. It had always been Martin. She had to make plans. She wasn't throwing herself at his feet. She would go to him as an equal. She hated football. What does one wear to a football game? What if it rained? Why couldn't it be something like in door volleyball?

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The days dragged by for both Cheryl and Martin, but Saturday finally arrived. It was a windy blustery day. Dark clouds hung ominously over a low gray sky. The smell of a cold fall rain filled the air.

Martin parked his car and went inside. He wanted to be early. He had two tickets in hand, blankets, slickers and thermos in the car, but he had no intention of going to the game. He was wearing a lightweight dark blue windbreaker over a light blue plaid cotton button down shirt. He had on a comfortable pair of jeans and low cut hiking shoes. He carried a baseball cap, but had no intention of wearing it. He'd spent too much time getting his hair to have that just so casually crumpled look. He walked in, found a seat at the counter and waited.