The Answer

We've been working together for about 5 months now. At first, I was stunned by your beauty and every day since I've been impressed with your intelligence, work ethic and humor. I would have asked you on a date within a week had it not been for Brad. I was sure he was the luckiest guy in the world.

It's been 27 days now since your breakup- I've kept track. I've been hanging around more since then, partly to be a comfort and partly because I just cannot stay away. I know it might feel creepy, but my intentions are good, and I just can't help myself.

Yesterday, you got a little upset with me and asked me, "Chris, what do you want?"

I was surprised by the question, and I fumbled around and finally settled on a stupidly trite line, "I want you to be happy."

The way you spit out the words, "Thank you" showed just how unhappy you were.

Last night I thought about a better answer to your question.

Here it is:

I want to ask you out on that date.

I want to spend a whole Saturday afternoon walking around downtown holding hands and getting to feel comfortable together.

I want to sit outside at Santa Lucia's, my favorite Italian restaurant, have Lasagna, Caesar Salad and drink a bottle of their house Chianti with you. Decaf and cannoli for dessert. When I open the car door for you, I want you to thank me for a wonderful day and kiss me lightly on the cheek.

I want to spend Sunday aching to see you the next day.

I want you to smile a little bigger at our Monday morning meeting and be obvious about avoiding eye contact.

I want to bring you a cup of coffee and ask you out again, and I want you to smile and say yes.

On our second date, I want to take you dancing. I'm not very good, but I want to see you move your body to the music, and put your arms around me and hold me close. Between dances I want you feel comfortable enough to tell me about your childhood and some of your dreams. I want to listen. At the end of the date, I want you to kiss me at your doorstep for 5 minutes before insisting you must go inside.

On our third date, I want you to invite me into your kitchen for a drink before we leave for dinner. After two sips I want you to lean into me, kiss me, then take my hand and lead me to your bedroom.

I want to feel like crying at how beautiful you are as your dress slips off your shoulders in the half light. I want to take you in my arms and feel like I'll never let go.

I want to make you feel good. I want to hear you gasp as I slide my hand down between us. I want you to hold my hair and pull me to you as you cum with my tongue massaging your clitoris.

I want to feel us joined. I want you to bite my neck. I want to see you to throw your head back and groan from deep in your chest as you dig your fingernails into my back.

I want to wake up next to you in the morning.

I want to bring you flowers every day.

I want to meet your parents, siblings, and friends.

I want you to meet mine. I want them to love you immediately.

I want to live with you. I want to take out the trash and do the dishes. I want to learn how to cook your favorite things.

I want us to find secluded spots outdoors and make love quickly to avoid getting caught. I want it to be your idea some of the time. I want to slide my hand up your skirt in a restaurant. I want you to furrow your eyebrows in mock disapproval, look around a little then spread your knees enough to let me in. I want to take you in the back seat of the car because we couldn't wait until we got home.

I want to run out for Tampons at any time of the day or night if you need them.

I want you to put both hands on your face in surprise when I kneel in front of you to propose. I want you to say "Yes."

I want a small wedding with immediate friends and family- or a big one if you prefer.

I want to say "I Do", get cake smashed on my face, and carry you over the threshold- all that corny stuff.

I want to work hard at a job I don't hate to provide for us.

I want you to find fulfilling work that you love.

I want us to be intimate every day.

I want to watch your belly grow through pregnancy and feel the baby's first kicks.

I want to be there for the births of both our children- first a girl, then a boy. Hey, it's my list.

I want the boy to be named after my dad- maybe his middle name.

I want to change diapers and feed in the middle of the night. I don't promise not to get grumpy from time to time.

I want to read stories to them every night.

I want to teach them not to fear.

I want to help them dress in their Halloween costumes and walk them around the neighborhood. I want to say yes when they ask if they can have just one more piece of candy.

I want to meet their teachers and help them learn to read.

I want us to go to their soccer and tennis matches.

I want to build them a tree house in the back yard.

I want to take them on camping trips and teach them about the natural world.

I want to take them to the beach and teach them to bodysurf and throw a frisbee.

I want to give our son the "birds and bees" talk. I want you do take care of our daughter's.

I want you to continue inviting me to our wedding bed.

I want to teach them to drive.

I want to give our daughter's prom date the evil eye and tell him to keep his hands to himself.

I want to drop each kid off at their dorm freshman year.

I want to be there to console them over their heartaches.

I want to cry at their graduations and their weddings.

I want to have her hold out her hand to me for the Father of the Bride dance.

I want the two of us to help them move in to their first houses.

I want lots of grandchildren. I want to roll around on the floor with them and pick them up from school. I want to spoil them- just a little and give them a stern look through my eyebrows when they start acting up.

I want to live near them- even if we need to move.

I want to host big family dinners for holidays and non-holidays alike.

I want us to age gracefully. I want us to take care of ourselves and get plenty of exercise.

I want to remember all the wonderful days of our lives.

I want to have been a good husband.

I want to have been a good father.

I want to have been a good man.

I want us to have had a good life.

I know that's a lot. I may have just scared you away forever, but that's what I want, and you DID ask.