"Idol's Dream"
I always loved performing. I always knew that I wanted to be a star.
Ever since I was little, I was always singing and dancing, putting on a performance at every opportunity. My parents were always supportive of me, paying for my dancing and vocal lessons when I was growing up. My mom always joked that I got it from her side of the family, as she was filipina--and filipinas were usually known to be good singers.
As much as I put myself out there, I never got discovered until I was eighteen years old. I just graduated high school, and I had to make a decision about what I wanted to do with my life. But I wanted to enjoy my summer vacation as much as I could, so I decided to put off that decision for another time. It wasn't until I went to an open mic night with my friends and performed a passionate cover of Joji's
Slow Dancing In the Dark,
the night someone from the audience wanted to sign me to
Nightingale Records,
that I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life.
I met the CEO of the label himself--who seemed very impressed by my abilities
and
my looks. He decided I would be the next big pop sensation for young girls to look up to, and I would have to maintain a clean and innocent
'girl next door'
image. I thought that it would be easy, as I rarely misbehaved anyway. I knew that I would be able to handle it easily.
But then the team introduced me to my manager--thirty-seven-year-old David Masters. He was an incredibly handsome man, from his dark hair to his hazel eyes, and his strong jawline constantly sporting stubble on the lower half of his face that suited him. I couldn't help but feel a bit shy meeting him, but he was very nice to me.
He was always there for me, always asking me how I was feeling before and after performances, and providing me with support whenever I needed it. He always seemed to genuinely care about me, and I felt like I could trust him. I could feel myself feeling more and more affectionate towards him, even though he was my manager. Even when I was becoming more and more famous, he never treated me differently. Even though we had a professional relationship, we were very close.
It wasn't until all my friends that I used to have turned on me once I became famous that I fell into depression, as they were selling personal information and rumours about me for clout. Even though I loved performing, I had to cancel performances while I was on tour because my depression was unbearable. Since I was on tour, away from home, David was the only one who was there for me and told me that he would handle everything. He was the one who listened to my troubles and provided me with emotional support the entire time. I'd say he was the one who pulled me out of my depression.
One night he bought me a beautiful gold necklace with a small diamond encrusted in the star-shaped charm and put the necklace around me, telling me to look in the mirror.
"I want you to know that whatever happens, I'm rooting for you,"
he told me as his hands lingered on my shoulders after he put the necklace on me.
"You're my little star, Leigh. Don't listen to what other people have to say about you--because I believe in you. You're a star."
I looked at myself in the mirror, placing my hand over the star charm before I looked at David in the mirror, seeing him smiling at me as his eyes shined with a glimmer of reassurance and safety.
That was when I knew that I was falling for my manager.
There were plenty of instances where I would have to collaborate with male artists and perform with them onstage, and dating rumours would fly--but I never felt anything for any other guy the way I felt about David.
So one day, when TMZ caught a photograph of me getting a bit close with another artist at a party--David became angry with me for getting caught up in a scandal, but assured me that he would fix it with my publicist. I began to cry and apologize profusely, knowing that I had let him down. He only held me, and apologized for getting angry with me. I then confessed that I never did anything with that artist--I didn't have feelings for anyone except for
him.
And I meant it, nobody made me feel the way that he did. I
loved
him.
And that was when we kissed for the first time. When we kissed, it felt as if we both wanted to for so long. Like all our emotions we had for each other was spilling out all at once.
That was the day I lost my virginity to my manager. We didn't plan on it happening--we were just so caught up in the moment, yet David would always ask me if I was okay, like he always did.
I couldn't have asked anyone else to have my first time with.
And ever since then, David and I had a secret relationship. We could never get caught, it would ruin both my career and his. We always had a strictly professional relationship while in public... But behind closed doors, we could never keep our hands off each other. But he was always so loving, always being soft and gentle or dominant and rough if I asked him.
He was
perfect.
Even though I was Leigh Harper, the perfect pop star in the public eye, I felt almost as if I didn't deserve David, both as my manager and my lover.
It's been over a year since I debuted, and I was already beginning to grow exhausted from the fame and the celebrity lifestyle despite only being nineteen. I loved to perform--but being famous was beginning to wear me out. I only came to the realization recently, but one of the only reasons I keep going as an idol is for David
.
Not even for the money, not even for my fans... But for
him.
David was the reason I had all of this, all this fame and wealth, all these supporters, all these opportunities, he was the reason I became as successful as I did. But truth be told, I didn't need any of this.
He was all I needed to make me happy.
The bright lights were shining in my face, blinding me as the crowd cheered loudly, the sounds of clapping and screaming filling the entire stadium. I couldn't stop smiling, even as sweaty as I was. I had just finished performing my last song of my show, and was on a complete rush. "Thank you, Chicago! You were such an amazing crowd!" I said into my mic, running a hand through my long black hair as the crowd cheered even louder.
"I love you all! Goodnight!" I said before waving to the crowd as I left the stage, the crowd chanting my name. I sighed deeply as I handed my mic to one of the crew members before I was escorted to my dressing room. I couldn't wait to just change out of my outfit then head into the limo back to the hotel.
After I changed my clothes and headed out of my dressing room, security escorted me to my limousine outside, as fans screamed in my direction while the paparazzi snapped pictures of me and bombarded me with questions.
