Softly Softly: the Piano Man

She hadn't been touched for a long time. Sure, there were hugs from friends, kisses on the cheek in greeting at parties, massages at the spa, playfights with her roommate. But the hurt of her marriage, her shattered trust, had drawn a protective mantle around her that now she seemed powerless to shed, and she would not get close to a man. She met plenty, was invited for drinks or dinner by a few. She always said no. She laughed with the regulars in her local bar, and often it turned to flirting -- but the moment it looked like it could get a little serious, the barriers went up, the shutters went down, and she fled. Mustn't let anyone in, mustn't let anyone know her. Because if she dropped her guard enough to allow someone to get to know the real her, who she was at her very core, in her soul.....well, that would inevitably lead to more pain, maybe not straightaway, but eventually. Pain that she was simply not able to take. So she maintained her ice queen exterior, pushed all her feelings down, deep down into the dark, and told herself nightly as she turned out the light alone that this was best for her, that this was the right thing to do.

She ached with loneliness.

And then she met him. A friend of a friend, two feet taller and ten years younger, with huge brown eyes like melted chocolate, a piano player, with long, clever fingers and huge strong shoulders. He exuded self assurance and confidence, walked around like every room was his kingdom, yet he never seemed arrogant or superior. He had an infectious laugh and a smile full of mischief. And despite all her efforts to remain aloof, he persisted in asking her about herself, questions that she would try to deflect with simple, superficial answers, and yet somehow he seemed to see straight through her façade and would lock eyes with her and say something so painfully accurate, so shockingly true, that she could feel her resolve crumbling to dust and would begin to shake. More than once he reduced her to tears, without meaning to, purely because his pragmatic assessments of her laid her so bare, and all of the feelings she spent every day suppressing were stripped naked before his eyes and left her cold with shock. He would draw her into his arms and wrap her up safe, and she would cling to him in terror, this man who was undoing everything that should never have been done.

It began with a kiss on the neck. He walked her home at the end of an evening spent with mutual friends, and as they stood at her door, he kissed her on the cheek....then leaned down and placed a very gentle kiss on the side of her neck. The softness of his lips and the very rightness of him took her breath away, and she gasped. He paused, then kissed her again. She froze. He folded her into his arms and let her breathe for a moment. And then, slowly, wordlessly, he tilted her face up towards him, brushed a loose strand of her hair out of her eyes, and touched his lips to hers. She felt the world and its realities spinning away from her, and lost herself in his kiss. Everything else in the world ceased to exist, except for the two of them.

After a moment of intense stillness and silence, their eyes met, and he took both of her hands in his and kissed her fingers, one by one, never breaking eye contact. He turned one of her hands over and kissed the palm, and then her wrist. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the door as he worked his way very, very slowly all the way up her arm, to her shoulder, then to her neck. She felt his breath warm in her ear and she shivered involuntarily. He took her face in his hands and kissed her firmly, beautifully on the mouth. She looped her arms around his neck and drew him against her, relaxing into his body and feeling his warmth. He buried his hands in her hair while her fingers traced a path down the back of his neck, to his strong, solid shoulders, shoulders that made her feel so protected and safe even as he pulled down her defences. Involuntarily, but unable to help herself, she wrapped one leg around the back of his thigh, bringing him closer and pushing herself against him. In response, he began exploring inside her mouth with his tongue, and she moaned. At that moment, she felt her barriers shatter and fall, and she surrendered willingly.

Breathlessly, she scrabbled around in her pocket for her key, her hand shaking, the other not able to let him go. When she found it, he took it from her hand, slid it into the lock and led her through her own front door. Not speaking, he closed it behind them, and she reached out to him. But he grasped her by the hands and gently pushed her backwards, until she was standing against the wall in her semi-dark hallway, then he let her go and took a step back, silently regarding her. She blinked uncertainly. Was this the moment that he would reject her? Now that she had come this far, was he going to change his mind and leave, breaking what was left of her? Instead, he stepped back towards her, touched the side of her face with his fingertips, and whispered "You're beautiful." She hadn't realised that she'd been holding her breath, but now she let it out in relief. She looked into his eyes, knowing that he was leading whatever was to come next, turning over her trust to him and allowing him to happen to her.

He brought his face close to hers, hovering by her lips but not touching. They stood for a few moments like that, hardly breathing, separated by the barest of distances, letting the tension build. Then he reached up and carefully, taking his time, began to unbutton her shirt, starting at the top button between her breasts. The proximity of his hands made her breathing quicken. When the last button was undone, he stood back and slipped the shirt from her shoulders, dropping it at her feet. She stood before him in her bra and jeans, feeling deliciously exposed and vulnerable, waiting to see what he would do next. He reached forward with one hand and touched his fingertips to her breast, slowly, so slowly, and then cupped it. Her head felt light. He placed his hand over her heart, feeling its fast beat, then reached up and took hold of her other breast. With them both under his hands, he began to move his thumbs in slow circles, feeling her nipples harden through the material of her bra. He slid down one bra strap, and listened to her breathing quicken again. She closed her eyes as she felt his head move away from her face and down, and gasped again as her breast was exposed to the air, and a moment later, felt the wetness of his tongue on her nipple. He kissed, licked, and bit -- very gently. She clasped his head, feeling the softness of his hair, and then his lips were on hers, kissing her deeply, probing, searching. As they kissed, he reached behind her back and undid the catch on her bra, and as it fell to the floor, their kisses became even more intense. Pushing away from her, he took her breasts into his hands and began to trace kisses all over her warm skin, until her whole body felt aflame and she cried out, clutching at him until his lips returned to hers.

She felt his hands begin to move down her back, tracing a path down her spine and coming to rest on her waist. Then, after a pause, they continued their journey, moving over the curve of her hips and then behind her, and she felt her own sharp intake of breath as he pulled her pelvis against him, and against his hardness. Then his hands were on the move again, coming around to the front of her, his thumbs kneading into the soft flesh of her stomach, and then finding the button of her jeans and beginning to lower the zip, slowly, agonisingly slowly. He slipped them down over her hips and she kicked her shoes off with them, looking up at him anxiously as she stood before him wearing only a tiny pair of lacy briefs while he was still fully clothed. He wrapped his arms around her and breathed her in. Then she was pressed up against the wall, and his hands were on her hips as he pushed against her, and she could feel her wetness seeping through her underwear. He reached down and with one hand teased over the material, and she tentatively joined his hand with one of her own and they rubbed her together. When he slipped his hand inside her underwear hers went with it, and together they touched her silky wetness. She drew out her hand, one finger slick with her juices, and moved it over his lips. He licked them, and then took her finger into his mouth while sliding his own inside her, and they both moaned. He began to pump his finger in and out of her, gaining momentum, while they kissed passionately and both licked the juices from her hand. Finally, he hooked his thumbs over the waistband of her underwear, and in one quick movement slid it down as he sank to his knees and buried his face into her.

As his tongue entered her she lost all control and fell back against the wall, relying on it to hold her up while she tried not to scream in pleasure. Her whole body convulsed with the electric shock of his touch. His tongue was everywhere -- circling around her clit and darting inside her, while he nibbled on her outer lips, sucking them gently into his mouth. His slid his finger back inside her, and then two, thrusting and licking with an intensity that drove her mad. Finally, when she could stand it no longer, she reached for his hand and pulled him back up to her, and they kissed with wild abandon, panting and gasping and both tasting the traces of her on his face. With trembling hands she reached frantically for his belt, desperate to free him and take him into her mouth. He helped her undo the catch on his jeans and stepped out of them, kicking off his shoes as she had done. She sank down the wall and carefully removed his hard, solid cock, drawing off his boxers, then paused for a moment, breathing in the maleness of him, relishing the anticipation. She reached out with her tongue and passed the very tip over the soft velvety head, smiling in the darkness as she heard his sharp intake of breath. She opened her mouth and enveloped him, holding the shaft lightly with one hand to control her movements. He exhaled deeply and pressed his hands and forehead against the wall behind her, needing the support as his knees weakened from her assured ministrations. He moaned slightly as she began to move her hand back and forth on his shaft in time to the action of her mouth, swirling her tongue around the tip and then taking him deeply to the back of her throat, closing her lips and moving him in and out of her. His breathing quickened and she increased the speed of her movements in response. Soon she felt him tense up and knew his climax was close; she released him and stood back up. They stood before each other, not touching, while she let him catch his breath. Finally, he picked her up in his arms and carried her down the hall, stopping outside the door to her bedroom and looking at her questioningly. She nodded, almost imperceptibly.

He pushed open the door and carried her over to the bed. The curtains were still open; it had been daylight when she left. Moonlight spilled in through the window and onto her face as he gently laid her down on the bed and lay down beside her, half on top of her, with one strong thigh between both of hers. He placed a single, almost chaste, kiss on her lips and brushed her hair out of her eyes, staring deeply into them. She locked eye contact with him as she reached for his shirt with one hand and began to undo the buttons. Finishing the last one, she slipped off the shirt and dropped it beside the bed, running her eyes up and down the length of his body, hesitantly touching his skin and breathing in his scent. Wordlessly, he reached for her hand and entwined his fingers around hers. They both froze for a second, enjoying the moment, then their lips met and they rolled sideways, facing each other and kissing slowly and deeply. She could feel his hardness against her thigh and was shaking with nervousness and anticipation. He rolled her onto her back and moved on top of her, the tip of him resting just outside her and tantalising them both. Leaning on one elbow, he touched the side of her face and she parted her legs slightly to allow him room. Then he began to ease forward, slowly, slowly, and she gasped in exhilaration as the feeling of him entering her overwhelmed her senses, closing her eyes as she felt herself opening up to him. He stopped. She caught her breath, her eyes flying open to see what was wrong. He was smiling. He began to ease forward again, going into her inch by inch as she closed her eyes again and grasped his big shoulder in her small hand. When she could feel he was inside her to the hilt she opened her eyes, relishing how full she felt and how completely connected they were. They smiled slightly at each other, the light from the moon catching his eyes and making them sparkle, and she drew his face to hers as he began to thrust.

As he moved inside her, he reached down and pulled one of her legs up around his waist, rubbing the smooth skin of her calf as she clutched at his back. She drew up her other leg and crossed them both over his back, crying out as his penetration of her reached new depths. She wrapped her fingers around the back of his neck, entangling them in his hair, and moved her head slightly to one side so she could kiss his shoulder. She began to nibble and bite, harder and harder, stirring up their passion yet more, and he took hold of both her legs and pushed them behind her head, pinning them there with his shoulders and thrusting hard. She grabbed his butt cheeks and heaved him into her with all her strength, both of them moaning with excitement and exertion as they continued to fuck. He took her hands and pinned her arms behind her head, pulling back from her slightly so she couldn't reach to kiss him, and she squirmed underneath him in frustration. He leaned back down until his face was hovering just above hers, still too far for her to reach but agonisingly close, and smiled mischievously. In spite of herself and the situation, she laughed; he laughed too and released her. In complete abandon she wrapped all of her limbs around him, clutching him, possessing him, trying to make her body a part of his as they kissed frenziedly. He rolled onto his back, taking her with him, and she gripped the headboard of her bed and began to ride him, slowly at first, enjoying the sight of her body on top of his and drinking in every detail of him that she could see and feel. Then she began to build momentum, and he took hold of her hips in his big hands and rocked her back and forth, grinding her against him as she broke out into a sweat. After a while he began to slow down her movements, exerting control until she was still, sitting astride him and impaled on him and looking down into his face, neither of them moving.

"Come here," he whispered, the sound of his voice surprising her in the silence. She lay down on top of him, with him still inside her, and he wrapped his arms around her and held her. She breathed deeply, and they stayed like that for several minutes, while he tangled his fingers into her hair again and felt the dampness there from her sweat. She began to relax onto him, her head buried in his neck, feeling the few hairs on his chest brushing against her, listening to his heartbeat. And then gently, very gently, he eased her onto her side, following her so that he didn't break their connection. And then he began to move in her again, faster and faster. As she became overwhelmed by the intensity of her feelings, she could do nothing but meet his movements with a gasp or a cry, her breaths coming in little short bursts as she felt his lips nibble her earlobes and her neck, his breath hot against her skin. Then she felt him reaching down between her legs, and his fingers found her clit as he continued to fuck her, and she half-moaned helplessly, sure that she couldn't take anymore. He began to rub, and rub, stimulating her entrance with his fingers while circling her clit with his thumb, all the while keeping up his rhythm until she felt that her heart would explode. And then her orgasm began to build. She felt it, and tried to fight it, afraid to allow herself to trust him with something so intimate and personal, afraid to share the last piece of herself that she had left. But it was out of her control. Even as she tried to move away from him, not wanting him ever to stop but with her mind shouting its fears, her orgasm burst through her like wildfire and she threw back her head and screamed, completely rigid, helpless in his hands. She came and came and he held onto her as she shook and cried, waiting patiently as slow, quiet minutes passed. And then, as she began to come down, he resumed his thrusts and in a few quick seconds he was crying out too, his hands buried in her hair once more, pulling at it, hurting her but in a way that she liked, and his whole body tensed as his hot fluid streamed into her.

After what seemed like hours, he began to relax, and they entwined themselves around each other and collapsed back into the pillows. They were both panting, damp with sweat. He leaned over and kissed her on the mouth, then on the forehead, and the simple tenderness of the action made her want to cry. She reached up and touched the side of his face with her fingertips, brushing over his long dark lashes and tracing over his full lips. The air in the room was thick with the smell of them and the love they had made. She looked down at their bodies with their legs wrapped around each other, smiling as she noticed how long his legs were in comparison to hers, how his forearms dwarfed hers, how miniature she felt next to him. He noticed her noticing and they both laughed, and she wrapped her tiny feet around one of his and squeezed. He slid an arm behind her back and pulled her closer to him, and she nestled into his neck, kissing him and faintly tasting the salt of his sweat on her lips, then turned over and pressed her back against his belly as he enveloped her in his arms. She looked at the moon through the window and tried to remember a time when she ever felt this comfortable and safe. She couldn't. Against her spine, she felt his breathing change, and knew that he was falling asleep. A thousand thoughts flooded in -- what had she just done? Was this a one-off? Would he be there in the morning? He shifted slightly as he dozed off, and she wondered how badly hurt she would be if he left her. Then one of his hands slid onto her hip as he relaxed into sleep. She took hold of it, feeling his strong, clever fingers. She mulled quietly to herself: if he was gone in the morning, would tonight have been worth it? She instantly knew that it would, whatever the outcome of this night.

She drifted off to sleep, wondering if he would be there when she woke.