My wife Jesse and I had just completed an intense love making session as her head laid on my chest, toying with my chest hair. Sex between us had been pretty good for the last few weeks.
"I've met someone," she said.
"So, you want a divorce," was my immediate response as I got out of bed.
She was sitting up, those beautiful tits exposed, "I was hoping we could come to a different arrangement. Talk to me Jack."
I was busy shoving clothes in a suitcase, enough stuff for a week and grabbed my toiletry kit I carried on my business trips and vacation.
"In the morning I'll contact an attorney and I suggest you do the same."
"Just forget it Jack, forget I said anything and come back to bed."
"No Jesse, after standing by your side the last two years, you throw that shit at me. Absolutely fucking not!" And I left.
Two years ago, Jesse was diagnosed with cervical cancer. She was only in her twenties. The hysterectomy removed her baby factory, the chemo removed her hair and the hormone imbalance put her in bitch mode. Six months ago, things started to return to normal as the irrational outburst subsided.
But there was a period during the first year that I thought I was losing my mind and Jesse had lost hers. The counselor I went to helped, I was really hoping for good drugs but he pointed out that all of Jesse's dreams had been shattered and nothing was safe in her world. Jesse would be constantly testing me to see if she could count on me. Part of it is also hormonal, the surgery will fuck with her hormones and it will take time for doctors to find the right hormone replacement therapy. I could leave her of course but the world would despise me. I really didn't need the end piece but it was true.
After checking in to a cheap hotel, I emailed my boss and admin to say I needed a few days off. I felt bad since my boss was very lenient with me as I dealt with Jesse's cancer.
It seemed every fifteen minutes, a different Jesse would text me that night and into the next day. Several messages said she was just testing me, to see if I was still committed to her since she couldn't have children. Seconds later she wanted to know why I was so opposed to opening our marriage. And mixed between all of that shit were her apologies.
In my mind, how could I trust that she was really taking the open marriage off the table or would she just go behind my back and fuck the guy anyway. Our sex life had been great recently, was it because she was fantasizing about the guy she had met.
That Monday, I found a lawyer, cancelled our joint credit cards and opened a separate bank account. There were no surprises when I met the lawyer, Jesse made more than me and we had few assets. We had been living in an apartment while we struggled through her cancer treatments.
In the evening, I sent Jesse a text message giving her my attorneys name and number and what I did with the credit cards.
Her response shocked me, "Is the poor baby happy with what he did today? Is your little male ego feeling better? Knock this stupid shit off and come home, I said I was sorry."
Did she realize her response would have the opposite affect from getting me to come home. I typed a dozen responses and settled on, "at least now I'll have an opportunity to find someone who can give me children."
But I couldn't be that mean, I deleted it and instead said: "after all we've been through, how hard I worked to show you how much I loved you, it was so disappointing to read those words. I'm not going to put up with that. I'm blocking you, get and attorney and we can communicate through them."
My admin called me the next day, she had gone to the bathroom and when she came back she found a very upset Jesse sitting in my office. My admin Sheryl had worked for me for at least five years. She was old enough to be my mother. Her favorite line was, "I love you like you were one of my sons and I don't hesitate to slap them when they do stupid shit, so don't do stupid shit."
Sheryl asked me to explain what was going on, she already knew of my struggles through Jesse's cancer, so I only needed to talk about the last 48 hours. It actually felt good to vent to her and I was expecting a tongue lashing.
Instead, she said, "I would have done the same thing Jack but maybe it is one of those tests your counselor use to talk about. Either way, it may be best to go see him again. I'm going to talk to Jesse, we can't have her camping in your office and the only alternative is to have her arrested for trespassing unless she leaves on her own."
Sheryl called me back an hour later, "I got her to leave Jack, that's the good news. But the whole time we talked I felt like I was talking to three different people, even her mannerisms changed. One Jesse was deeply apologetic, telling me it was just a random thought and she wanted your opinion. She hadn't really thought it through and could understand your reaction. You have been her rock for more than the last two years and she needed you back."
"Then her expression change and she started calling you a neanderthal and what was wrong with having sex with others as long as we maintained your commitment to each other. She was spouting some Cosmo psychobabble that didn't make any sense and was generally incoherent. The theme of male ego was frequently mentioned."
"At the end she said, 'I don't need his bullshit anyway, I can have a much better sex life without him,' and she stormed out of your office. You should contact her doctor."
A call to her doctor went to his answering service. He called me back an hour later. I did my best to describe Jesse's behavior but I did not feel he was getting my point. Finally, he said he was going to try and get her to come in. I asked if he could keep me updated and he said that would violate HIPA laws.
I was left with worry for the woman I loved competing with the feeling I had enough. But I unblocked Jesse and asked her to go see her doctor. She replied back saying she was fine.
Jesse sent me a text two days later, telling me she had a lawyer and that she moved out of the apartment. It was too small for her and too many bad memories so I could move back in.
