Ostracism

Author's note: This story contains some anti-gay slurs. This is not meant to insult anyone, but they are necessary for the telling of this tale. I hope that the reader can see past any offense he might take, and understand why they are integral to the story.

******

Reality was in the slowly lightening room, as another school day was starting. It had been her passion that had brought her down to Danny's room, but it had brought her in only her nightshirt. Boy, did

she

have the 'walk of shame' ahead of her, facing all of the guys on Danny's floor before she could get upstairs to her room. And the girls on her floor wouldn't be much more forgiving than the guys on Danny's. She could jump up, and scurry back upstairs now, and there'd be fewer people, maybe even none, who would spot her, or she could stay in bed with Danny.

Romantic choice? Stay with Danny! Practical choice? Heck, she didn't have a toothbrush here, and she'd need her conditioner and hairbrush to be able to deal with her long hair after a shower. Damn it, Danny would just have to understand that a girl has to do what a girl has to do!

"Hay, lover boy," she said, as she nudged Danny to full wakefulness, "I've got to run back to my room and get ready," giving him a quick kiss.

"Shower here?" he asked her hopefully.

"I'd like to, but you won't have the stuff I need for my hair. I get absolutely horrible tangles in this mop without conditioner. See you for breakfast!" With that, Mary Margaret scurried out the door.

Still, her hope to enter into an empty hallway, to avoid the 'walk of shame,' went unmet. There were two guys already out, though at least they weren't the worst of the assholes.

"

Wooo

, way to go, O'Reilly!" came the catcall. Worse, she had to pass them to get to the end of the hallway door, and the taller one, the guy who'd made the call, raised his hand to give her a high five. Might as well own it, she thought, and gave him that high five, just glad he didn't slap her ass as she passed him. But she knew that those guys would blab that she'd come out of Danny's room at 6:15 in the morning, wearing nothing but a nightshirt. There were no secrets in the whole damned tower!

Up one flight of stairs and, sure enough, there was a girl in the hallway. Her name was Anita something, and while Mary Margaret was acquainted with her, barely, they never really talked to each other. She didn't know Anita well enough to know if she'd gossip. At least she didn't have to pass her before she got to her own room.

"OK, spill it!" Sarah was asking even before Mary Margaret got the door closed. "How was it?"

It wasn't like she could keep anything from her roomie, but Mary Margaret was feeling really shy about discussing this, this soon. She tried to put Sarah off with an "It was really great," and then she headed into the bathroom.

"Nope, not good enough! I want details," Sarah insisted, standing in the bathroom doorway.

"Oh, Hell, Sarah, it's almost like a blur. I woke him up, knocking on the door, and he answered with the light still off. I told him to leave it off, and just slipped into his bed. He came to bed, we cuddled and kissed for a bit, and then I told him to make love to me. It was just amazing, better than I had ever imagined. We went so slow, it seemed like hours, and then we just fell asleep in each other's arms. Now, shoo! I've got to take my shower."

"Don't take forever, I've got to get in there, too!"

Mary Margaret took her time brushing out her hair, twisting the ends, to give herself the slight curls that she used to frame her face. Her light brown hair came down to her elbows, and she thought it her best feature. Brandon had like playing with her hair, even if Danny hadn't.

Crap!

She hadn't been thinking about Brandon at all, up to this point, but now all of that flooded back into her mind. She hadn't said anything about 'going steady' with Brandon, whatever that mean in the days of casual hook-ups, but he had said that he wanted her as his girlfriend. And she had been naked in from of him, while she'd kept that nightshirt on the whole time with Danny. Heck, they'd made love, wonderful love, but in the dim light he couldn't have really seen anything. And wasn't

that

a weird way to think about it?

How the heck did she go from being mostly dateless to having two boyfriends at once? Some girls, she thought, managed to keep more than one guy stringing along, and the guys sometimes knew about the others, but she sure didn't have any experience at that.

And now she started feeling guilty. She'd spent the night in Brandon's bed last Friday, though without any sex, but she'd actually made love to Danny last night. Of course, Danny knew that she'd spent the night with Brandon, even if he didn't know what happened, but he surely assumed that she'd gotten laid that night.

Gotten laid. Doesn't quite mean the same thing as making love, does it?

Well, there was nothing to do about it now, other than get ready for breakfast with her new lover.

That had been what she wanted, wasn't it? All this time, she'd been waiting for him to say something, to make a move of some kind, to let her know that he was interested in her as more than a friend. She'd put him off at the end of their study session, even though she didn't want to, and then, a couple of hours later, she'd just gone up to his room and slid into his bed. Was that messed up?

It had been cold yesterday, and the morning weather forecast on Channel 18 said cold again, windier, with possible snow flurries. She had to dress warmly, but she also wanted to dress nicely, just for Danny. Her best jeans, the faded ones that fit her so very well, and the nice black-and-brown boots that came up to her knees, that was always a sexy look. They had just enough of a heel to make her look taller, which minimized her weight. Her nicest white cashmere sweater, that hung low on her hips, with the sleeves extending down to her knuckles, that was slimming, too. A nice, grey woolen scarf loosely around her neck, and it was a complete look. Pair that with an insulated vest - kind of like the one that Brandon wore, she couldn't help but thinking - and she knew Danny would like it. A bit of clear lip gloss, and her sexy librarian glasses, and she'd look as good as she could. Throwing her iPad and wallet in her purse, along with a notebook and gel pen, she was ready to go.

Mary Margaret didn't see Danny in line, so either she'd beaten him downstairs or he had already gotten his breakfast and was waiting for her at the table.

She felt glorious this morning, and it showed as she filled her breakfast tray. Coffee - what the cafeteria always did best - some Rice Chex cereal and milk, a banana and an orange, the kind of breakfast she saw as light and fun, rather than the heavier comfort food breakfast. Swiping in her meal card, she spotted Danny, already at the table, and there were two guys sitting with him; nobody

ever

sat with Danny, not since that awful gay porno came out.

Well, this had to be because she was spotted coming out of his room this morning, but there was nothing to do for it other than head for the table and be happy and positive. It helped that she'd dressed up for Danny this morning; if they were there because of her, it always helps a guy when his girlfriend looks her best.

Damn it, his

girlfriend?

That's what Brandon had called her, but there was no time to dwell on that now.

"Hey, O'Reilly, you're looking good this morning," said the one guy, who just happened to be the same guy who high fived her in the hallway.

"Why, thank you, sir, I appreciate it."

"It's Austin, Austin Ledford, and this is Beryl."

"It's nice to meet you," she said, glad that they'd left the seat next to Danny empty for her, rather than her having to be across the table. Time to defuse this a bit, she thought, and then she took both Danny's and Beryl's hands. Austin looked genuinely confused, when she told him, "Take hands." He still looked strangely, but did as he was told, and then she said Grace. "Bless us, O Lord, and these, Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty. Through Christ, our Lord. Amen." She had never done that with Danny at the table before, but she wanted to disarm the two other guys, and it worked.

Breakfast went just wonderfully, she thought, with the guys treating Danny almost as a friend, something he hadn't seen since before the porno became public. Instead of being 'fag whore,' he was just Danny. Danny wasn't beaming, the way she was, but Mary Margaret could tell, just ever so slightly, that Danny was happier, happier that he was, at least for now, being accepted as one of the guys. Of course, there was no way to tell how much of happier was because of greater acceptance, and how much was because he'd just made love to Mary Margaret. She was reinforcing that part, but subtly, by making it seem as though it was normal between them, and not something new. Almost without realizing it, she was being his girlfriend, in a way that seemed as though it had always been that way. When they got up to leave, she took his hand, the simplest way of showing everybody that they were together.

oo0oo

Danny was in a pretty good mood. Yeah, he'd gotten laid for the first time since early spring - at least, not counting the horrible porn experience - but it was more than that; Mary Margaret had been his best sexual experience ever, because he could tell that she genuinely liked him, really liked him. He didn't know if she was actually in love with him, but it sure seemed so, and the few other girls he'd been with had never seemed that way.

Danny had lost his virginity after his high school prom, like so many other kids had. His high school girlfriend was, well, just kind of there. They had dated since they were juniors, but it was almost as though they were together because nobody else seemed interested. Once they were graduated, that was the end, not so much breaking up as just losing interest and going their separate ways. He'd had a couple of girlfriends as a freshman and sophomore in college, but even though they were tight enough that they'd had sex, it was almost, well, perfunctory isn't quite the right word, but certainly not all that intense. Danny thought that he was pretty good in bed, and his girlfriends always got their rocks off, but it just wasn't as special as being with Mary Margaret.

Was he actually in love with her? Hell, he didn't know! He knew that he felt differently with her than with any other girl, but was clear-headed enough to know that he didn't really know what love really was. It wasn't like he had a whole lot of experience growing up: his parents were still together, after all these years, but if they actually loved each other, they never showed it. His family wasn't really close, and never tried to be. Whatever love really was, he'd had no role models to learn about it from.

And Mary Margaret had done him a huge favor, even if she hadn't intended to. When Austin and Beryl had seen her leaving his room, obviously having spent the night with him, knowing her to be his friend and not Randy's - they didn't know Randy had spent the night elsewhere - he stopped being the fag whore, and became just another one of the guys, at least for the time being. Other than Randy making his peace with him, these were the first two guys in the dorm who had been at least half-way friendly with him since the porn flick became known. While the ruckus had died down some, the other guys had settled into a civility that was coldly polite at best, and quietly contemptuous in a lot of cases. He wondered if the floor RA, Residents' Adviser, might have laid down the law on that with all of the other guys. He thought back to the RA during his freshman year, who'd let the one out gay guy get hounded out of the dorm, and hadn't done anything about it, but this was a different RA, and maybe he was actually doing his job.

Now, well he could talk to Austin and Beryl. Beryl had said, rather crudely, that Mary Margaret had really rocked the 'freshly fucked' look, and Austin had liked her returning the high five, but he sure wasn't going to tell her that; that was way too crude talk for him to subject her to. Girls knew that guys talked like that, but usually didn't like it when they heard that kind of talk about themselves, personally, though they sometimes laughed when it was about THOT, that ho' over there.

Of course, now he owed Randy, big time, for letting him have the room last night. No way he could ask again, not this semester, anyway, and wondered if Mary Margaret could get her roommate to bunk out some night.

oo0oo

Morning classes went by happily and quickly for Mary Margaret. She was on top of the world, and everything was just great. She felt like a new woman.

She had a fifteen-minute break between her first and second classes on Tuesdays, and made a quick call to Student Health. She wasn't worried about having gotten knocked up last night, because her period was due to start really soon, tonight or maybe tomorrow morning. She could always feel the signs it was about to start, but she needed to get in for a birth control prescription right away. Since they'd give her a pelvic before writing the prescription, she needed to get in this afternoon, and got lucky: there was an availability at 4:15 this afternoon. She wasn't exactly looking forward to it, but this was one of the things that had to get done.

That was one of the great things about making love to Danny. Every other time she'd had sex, the guy had worn a condom. But Danny hadn't and there was just something different, something sort of wonderful, about him emptying himself into her, rather than into a rubber. It made her

feel

like a real woman, feel like it was more than just sex, it was actually making love.

Hey, girlfriend, if you still want to see me in uniform, I'll be having lunch at the Student Center cafeteria at 1300.

Boy,

that

changed things up! Brandon had just texted her, which had brought her thoughts about Danny to a screeching halt. Last night, in Danny's arms, with Danny deep inside of her, inside of her soul as much as her body, all thoughts of Brandon were gone. Now, reality was hitting her in the face, and the fact that she had, just 24 hours ago, responded to Brandon's statement that he wanted her to be his girlfriend with a kiss, a not-so-brief kiss at that.

Well, she didn't normally see Danny before supper anyway, so it certainly wouldn't hurt to meet Brandon for lunch.

Sure, boyfriend, love to. See you there.

Damn, maybe she shouldn't have put it quite that way, but she sent the text off anyway. What the Hell was she doing?

Sure enough, 1:00 PM saw Mary Margaret walking into the cafeteria in the new Student Center, looking for Brandon. The room was large, and it took her a couple of minutes to spot him, but there he was, near one of the windows, and he wasn't alone: there were two other cadets with him, both of them female. Well, crap, there was nothing else to do but go up and meet him; if she bailed now, she'd look jealous and insecure.

"Hey, sweetheart, good to see you," Brandon said, as he stood up as she approached, giving her a brief kiss on the cheek as he pulled out a chair for her. "These are Cadets Johnson and Murphy, and this is my girlfriend, Mary Margaret O'Reilly."

"Murphy and Johnson, their first names are Cadet?" Mary Margaret knew that was a title, but Brandon quickly explained that, in the Army, first names really aren't used.

"So, do you even know their first names?" she teased, but, somewhere deep down there was the thought that, if he didn't, he couldn't have been too close to them.

They all laughed, and Brandon admitted that he didn't know Cadet Murphy's first name, but Cadet Johnson was Linda. "Blair," Cadet Murphy introduced herself. Mary Margaret was kind of happy about that, because Linda was black, and Brandon surely hadn't dated a black girl.

Oh, my God, she thought to herself, that's just as prejudiced a thought as all those guys had been having about Danny after the porno came out. It was 2017, and of course Brandon could have dated a black woman if he had wanted to.

"Hey, let's get some chow," Linda said, and they all left their books on the table and headed up to the food line. Apparently Mary Margaret was the only one who lived in the dorms, because the others had to pay cash, while she was able to use her meal card.

She didn't think all that much of the uniforms, some sort of grey/green camo pattern, and half-baggy, not the way she pictures soldiers to look at all. Of course, Brandon had said that he'd be wearing his dress uniform on Thursday, which she hoped would be more impressive. And Mary Margaret felt a bit left out of the conversation, as the three cadets were all talking about military stuff, or what she guessed was military stuff. The only thing of note was that Linda was a real sergeant, having spent six years on active duty, including Afghanistan, before going to college and joining ROTC. That part did impress her.

But her mind was a mess over all of this. She was Danny's girlfriend, and she was Brandon's girlfriend, and she knew that this couldn't keep going on like this. One thing that she did note: as hot and sexy as Brandon usually looked, he wasn't quite so in his Army fatigues, or whatever the uniform was called. Maybe it was because it was just baggy-looking, or maybe because the two women were wearing the same uniforms, but all of a sudden Danny was looking better in comparison to Brandon than he had before.

Still, she thought, after she had left them when they hit Buell Armory for their ROTC class, Brandon was better looking than Danny, and certainly what anyone would say was a better 'catch.'

4:05 PM saw her dutifully in the Student Health clinic on South Limestone Street, where Mary Margaret had arrived ten minutes early. The previous appointment had run long, so she didn't get to see the gynecologist until almost 4:30, which meant more than twenty minutes of sitting in the lobby, not looking forward at all to the appointment. She could feel it: her period was going to start very soon, and she was not looking forward to two days of the cramps, but at least it meant she didn't get pregnant last night. A prescription for birth control pills, and, whenever she could start them, she could keep from getting pregnant with Danny.

Or Brandon.

That was a thought that was really bothering her. She had given herself completely to Danny last night, and was overjoyed that she had, but when Brandon had texted her, she fell right back in with him. She hadn't had sex with him, not yet, but the same pull was there: she wanted to! At least her period would give her a good excuse not to, and if he asked her out for Friday or Saturday night, well, the red river would be flowing!

Then again, her period was a perfect excuse not to have sex, but it wasn't an excuse to not go out on a date. Then, her mind still messed up, she pondered the fact that she didn't need an excuse not to have sex or not go on a date; she didn't somehow owe Brandon anything.

But, at any rate, she walked out of Student Health with a month's supply of birth control pills, and a prescription which she could refill for a year. She could start them on Sunday, but due to the timing of her period, she'd need to use condoms for the first couple of weeks. By that time, the semester would be over, and she'd be back with her family in Corbin. She worried that she wasn't exactly being a good Catholic girl with a contraception prescription, but, then again, she hadn't been such a good Catholic girl when she made love with Danny last night.