08

Please read these chapters in order. There is a very important message before Chapter 1. Thank you for reading my stories and I hope you enjoy them.

Chapter 7

It's never easy to admit you were wrong.

I was the first to wake. After bathroom duties and starting the coffee pot, I returned to bed and crawled under the warm covers to lie next to her. She was sleeping soundly as I studied her face and wondered what the future held for us. In less than a week, I had gone from not even knowing her to being crazy about her. In that same week, I'd been able to set aside the consuming grief of losing Lydia and begin focusing on the future. Lydia had not appeared in my dreams since last Saturday night, six days ago.

After several minutes of silence, I heard the coffee pot beep to signal it was ready. Taking the first cup with me to the fireplace, I struck a match to the papers and kindling.

As the fire blazed and crackled, I thought about my return to work on Monday. Unfortunately, during the last two years I shared my grief of losing Lydia by taking it out on some of my employees. I had not been an easy person to work with, and the events of this week convinced me I needed to make amends. How best to do that was the key question.

Pam walked from the bedroom and said, "Good morning sweetheart."

"Hey, young lady. The coffee's ready."

"I smelled it. Thanks." She walked to the kitchen and returned with her cup to sit beside me in front of the roaring fire. We kissed and she laid her hand on my leg.

Pam wore a new housecoat I hadn't seen. It was a deep burgundy with black trim that complemented her natural beauty and long blonde hair.

"That's a lovely housecoat. Is this another of the outlet purchases your mom talked you into buying?"

"It was actually Jerri. In fact, she bought it for me."

"That was nice."

"Sure was. She bought several things for me and I bought her a very nice dressy outfit. Did she tell you that David agreed to go to a resort all next week? They're doing what you suggested."

"Yeah, she mentioned it. I hope it works out for them."

"She also asked me what you did that caused me to scream so much in bed that morning."

I laughed. "What did you tell her?"

"I gave her an account but I'm not sure what you did toward the end when it blew my mind."

"It's my secret." Then I couldn't resist adding, "I'll be glad to show Jerri if you want me to."

Retribution was quick. She put her coffee down, jumped up and raised her fists into a defensive boxing position. "Come on, get up. I'm going to lick you."

I lunged at her legs and wrapped my arms around them as she pounded my back and screamed. I stood with her over my shoulder and carried her to the bed as she squealed and continued hitting my back. Flopping her onto the bed, I watched her bounce. We were both laughing at her feigned anger. I crawled onto the bed beside her. We hugged and kissed for several minutes while she played with my hair.

Once totally relaxed, she asked, "What were you thinking about when I walked in? You looked deep in thought."

"I was just thinking about returning to work and everything I need to do."

"Back to reality, huh?"

"Unfortunately. Maybe you can help me think of the best way to make amends to those employees I hurt during the last two years."

"Why did you hurt them?"

"I was taking my grief out on them and they just took it and never complained. I've come to realize just how ugly I was to some of them and I want to apologize in some way."

"Maybe you could take your own advice and just sit down face to face with each one and talk through what happened. A sincere apology from you personally will go a long way."

I gazed into her eyes and reflected on that. "You're right. I'll call Ron, my general manager, and get everyone's schedule. I'll go to the restaurants and the store and sit down with each of them. A few have resigned but I think Ron could get in touch with them."

"Maybe you could call those who left and take them to lunch."

"You're just full of great ideas. I'll take each of them to lunch and talk it through. Now I know how scared you were to go see your mom and apologize to her."

"It's never easy to admit you were wrong. Ego gets in the way."

We tenderly kissed and lay there quietly for several minutes before I said, "You were telling me about Niki Lee yesterday. What's the whole story on that?"

"Let's get your computer and I'll show you."
We Googled and found her on Twitter and learned she had her own website. Modelmayhem.com also gave all her vital statistics and lots of photos. She had been in

Playboy

numerous times and about all other men's mags as well. Her website even gave an upcoming schedule of appearances, including one for

Playboy

in Atlanta in early December as part of some announcement.

"My goodness, Pam. You and she are identical."

"When I first saw her photos, it was like I was looking into a mirror. But notice on her stats that she's two inches shorter and four years older than me. She also has all those little freckles between her boobs and our legs are shaped differently. Otherwise, except for a few small moles and that tiny birthmark on my thigh, we look just alike."

"I see her hair is also different. She has darker roots while yours are much lighter."

"Yeah, she probably tints her hair. She's likely a darker shade of blonde."

"I also think your boobs are shaped differently."

"That may be a function of time. Gravity has had longer to work on hers. But she's gorgeous, isn't she?" Pam grinned.

"Since you're identical, I can agree without fear of you hitting me."

"That's right."

"When she's in Atlanta, we could go meet her and have a photo taken. The two of you side by side would be astonishing."

"I don't know about that."

"Why not?"

"I'd be a little scared of meeting someone exactly like me. Wouldn't you? But let me think about it."

"So guys hit on you thinking they might score with a famous actress?"

"Yeah, it's embarrassing and gets old in a hurry. They just don't believe me when I tell them I'm not her. I'm certainly not going to show them my boobs or anything else to prove it."

"The guys probably wouldn't mind."

"Right, but from now on, you're the only guy that's invited to that party."

"You mean that Rabbit toy you use can't even come?"

She giggled. "No, but I can come with it. I didn't know you knew about it."

"I saw it in the drawer. The woman I dated for a while after Lydia died had one. She got a big rush out of me using it on her."

"I've never let a man use one on me. Maybe I've been missing something."

"We'll see," I said with my own devious smile. Pam grinned and leaned in for another kiss.

"Back to Niki, if you had a photo of the two of you side by side, the guys would be convinced."

"That might work. We'll talk about it later. What are we doing for breakfast?"

"With your new diet, I was thinking about cereal with fresh fruit."

"Sounds good. Maybe we can go jogging after we eat."

"There's a walking path around this part of the lake we could use. I don't think there're any bulls patrolling it."

****

We ran about three miles before I was pooped. Pam was still going strong when I begged off.

"You wuss! What am I going to do with you?" she asked.

"I guess you'll just need patience while I get back in shape." We began walking back to the cabin.

"At least your stamina in bed is still good."

"You think so?"

"I do. One of the things I like about you is that when we're having sex, you focus all your attention on my pleasure and on getting me off. You are so unselfish. There isn't a young woman in the world that wouldn't want to share your bed.

"I know you're hard and ready to explode but you hold back and don't force the issue until I'm totally soaked and quivering with excitement. Many of the men I've had start shooting their load as soon as I'm naked and spread my legs. They just can't imagine that I want to climax too before they're finished and ready to go home."

"The guys were probably imagining being with Niki Lee."

"You think so?"

"Yep. A lot of guys, me included, imagine they're with someone else while we're having sex. It's just a fantasy world we create in our minds."

"Girls also fantasize. I would often think of another really handsome guy I'd met or a previous lover. Brad Pitt and I got together quite often in my mind while the Rabbit was doing its thing."

"You're a drop-dead gorgeous woman and any guy's heart and body are going to start throbbing when they see you. I know when I saw your bare breasts that first time, I could have shot my load with just that visual stimulus. Have you fantasized about someone else when we're having sex?"

"Of course not. You totally occupy my mind as well as my body."

"Good answer. Speaking of bodies, I notice you don't have any tattoos or piercings. I thought all young girls were into that."

"My ears are pierced."

"Yeah, but I'm talking about other piercings."

"I've never been interested in adding luster, art or glitter to my body with piercings and tattoos. I believe you must either take me or leave me the way I was born and I don't need to permanently change my body to make anyone more attracted to me. Can you imagine all the grannies running around in 25 years with wrinkled tattoos? And I don't think pierced nipples are going to look all that great when they're sagging down to your waist."

"That's a disgusting thought. Maybe I should invest in a tattoo removal business."

"Maybe so. A ton of women and probably many men are going to be looking for that. Do you have servers with ornamentation?"

"A few do but we have a rule that only pierced ears can be seen while they're working. If they have pierced lips or tongues or multiple ear piercings, they must remove the bling before work. Any tattoos must be covered. Some of the girls have tattoos on their ankles and they're required to wear long slacks. A person with a tattoo is not a protected class under employment laws so we don't have to put up with it."

We jogged back to the cabin and directly to the shower. It felt great after our run and we enjoyed washing each other under the flood of warm water. Pam and I dressed for the day in jeans. We planned to drive to Chattanooga the following morning but I needed to do some minor maintenance at the cabin before we left.

I called the firewood supplier and he promised to bring a cord over that afternoon. I also called Ron and asked him to email the employees work schedule for next week. He was curious about why I needed it and I explained my plan. He was very pleased and thought the employees would be. He asked about my vacation. I just said it was great, that I think I've a new outlook and I looked forward to seeing him. We agreed to meet Monday morning and lay out my schedule for the employee meetings. I decided not to mention Pam just yet.

She spent the morning cleaning the kitchen and arranging food items in the cabinets. I changed the pilot light nozzle in the water heater, vacuumed the entire cabin and resealed one of the windows that had been letting in cold air.

For lunch, we drove to Susan's Place as promised. When Pam and I walked in, we were met with a chorus of greetings from Susan, Carl, Tony and Jack, one of my dad's other friends.

All except Tony walked over and shook hands with me and hugged Pam.

Susan asked, "Tom, when are you headed home?"

"We're going tomorrow morning. Pam needs to get settled in and I need to get a lot done before Monday." Susan smiled and nodded. I suppose she had guessed Pam would be going with me but this was the first confirmation.

Pam added, "We visited my mom this week and also saw my sister. They are very excited for us."

Carl responded, "All of us are excited for you two. I can't wait to hear your parents' reaction."

"Did you, Gene and Bill make it to Greenville the other day?" I asked.

Carl glanced at Susan who replied, "They're just all talk and no action." I had a feeling that other words were said about that after we left on Sunday but it was between them. Carl pulled a chair out for Pam and seated her while I went to the kitchen to congratulate Tony on the purchase of the diner.

Returning, I heard Pam say, "Susan, I've decided I'm going back to college and finish the degree I started a few years ago."

"Good for you. What do you want to do longer term?"

"I want to be involved somehow with children. Maybe teach or work with challenged kids."

"That's wonderful, Pam. There's a big need for great teachers."

Susan then said to me, "After our talk this week, I sent your mom and dad an email to let them know we'd seen you and that you were doing fine. I didn't mention Pam or anything else we discussed so that'll be your story to tell."

"Thanks Susan. This is going to take a while to explain and we need to do it face to face. I'm not sure when they're arriving back in Miami but I think it's early next week. They do have Internet access on the ship so they'll get your message quickly. I also want to introduce Pam to Lydia's parents as soon as possible."

For lunch, Pam had a chef salad and I had a club sandwich. I stopped by Jack's table and filled him in on my parent's doings and he asked me to give them his best.

We bid farewell to everyone and wished all a happy Thanksgiving that was just a week away.

During the drive back to the cabin, Pam asked if she could take a few of Lydia's clothes with us. I assured her that anything she wanted, she could have. Lydia had always been somewhat of a clothing addict and many of her outfits were stunning. Pam was thrilled.

She again brought up a previous topic. "Tom, I want to find a job as soon as possible and start earning my way. I can't get into the university until next semester or maybe even the fall of next year. What would you think about me working at one of your restaurants? I'm a good server. But I don't want you to give me the job. I want to apply for it like everyone else and interview like anyone would have to do."

"You don't want anyone to know about our relationship?"

"Not until I have a job that I got on my own merits."

"Pam, I don't like the idea of you working at a restaurant. Remember what happened in Charlotte. You and your boyfriend never saw each other. I'll be working mostly days and you'll be working many nights. I don't like that."

She was silent for a moment before replying, "I'm glad you reminded me. If I could find a day job, you would be fine with that?"

"Of course. What about working in a bank? I know you have great interpersonal skills. Can you handle the detail work and the math involved?"

"Sure, I did it as a server."

"I've a friend Jason who manages one of the Bank of America branches. We use them for our business. Let me see if he has any openings. I won't tell him about our relationship so you can go in and apply on your own. I promise not to use my influence."

After a moment, I continued, "Pam, I have the money to support you if you want to do something other than work every day."

"I know, but I want to feel like I'm contributing at least a little."

"That's fine. I understand. On Monday, I'll give Jason a call and see if he's looking for anyone. If not at his branch, maybe he'll know of an opening elsewhere."

"You mentioned that your parents are going to be home soon. Can we have them for dinner? Maybe your dad will be gentle with me and my cooking."

"He's going to love your cooking and I think you'll blow them both away. Let me check their cruise schedule and I'll call them when the ship docks."

"What about meeting Lydia's parents?"

"Maybe we can take them to lunch Sunday. I'll give them a call when we get to the cabin."

Upon arrival, I started the fire again while Pam walked to the bedroom. When she returned, I dialed Rick and Donna, Lydia's parents, and turned on the speaker so Pam could hear.

"Hello."

"Hi Donna, this is Tom."

"Oh, hi Tom. Good to hear from you. How did the week at the cabin go?"

"It was very good. I had plenty of time to reflect on Lydia and my life. I think I've finally been able to let go of her and start looking ahead. She will always be a major part of me but my grief has been holding me hostage too long."

"That's wonderful. Rick and I've been very worried about you."

"I know. These three years have been tough on all of us. But life goes on and there's a lot of future to think about.

"The reason I'm calling is that I'd like to take you two to lunch after church on Sunday. I've someone I want you to meet."

There was a moment of silence. "Tom, have you met someone?"

"I have. Her name is Pam." We could hear Donna choking up.

With a very shaky voice, she said, "That's wonderful news. We love you very much, Tom, and this is an answer to our prayers. How did you meet her?"

"That's kind of a long story so we'll tell you on Sunday."

"Where do you want to meet?"

We'll swing by and pick you up at 12:45.

"We'll be ready. We look forward to seeing you two."

"I love you Donna."

"Love you too. Bye."

Pam looked at me and smiled. "She sounds very nice."

"She is and so is Rick. They were a great help to Lydia and me during her illness and both of them have stayed close to me after she died. Her death hit them as hard as it hit me. She was their only child and they were devastated."

Just as I said that, we heard a truck straining to come up the lane. It was the firewood being delivered. After putting on a jacket, I went out to guide the driver around the cabin. He backed the truck next to the porch and dumped the wood on the ground. A cord made a big pile. I wrote a check and he left immediately while I returned to Pam.

"We are set now. I'm going to change to work clothes and start stacking."

"I'll change and help you."

For the rest of the afternoon, we carried and stacked firewood inside the screened porch. Pam proved to be a very hard worker, carrying and stacking as many pieces as I did. We stopped only once for a beer and to rest a few minutes. The very crisp air helped preserve our energy. By dinnertime the job was done and we carried some of the old wood in for the evening fire.

I asked, "Can I grill the steaks for us tonight?"

"Yum, that'd be great. We have a few potatoes and onions left. I'll make onion rings in the oven if you'd like. We also have carrot cake left."

"Let me run out and grab a bottle of wine. You like red wine, don't you?"

"I do. I love most all wines."

"So a shiraz or Bordeaux would be good?"

"Sure. You want me to go with you?"

"No, why don't you start on the onion rings and I'll only be a few minutes."

Well, that promise of a few minutes turned into 90 minutes. I had a flat tire and didn't have the cell phone with me to call Pam. There was no moon out and I didn't have a flashlight. Turning on the emergency flashers, I waited along the country road.

In about fifteen minutes, a pickup truck stopped and the elderly driver asked if I needed help. I told him the situation and he pulled his truck in behind me to shine his headlights on the rear of the car. I was then able to see to get the jack situated in the proper place and the tire changed. Thank God for nice neighbors willing to help.

I hurried to change it as quickly as I could and still get to the wine store before it closed. I didn't make it and had to go on to another store that was ten miles farther. When I finally made it home, it was clear Pam had been in a panic and had been crying.

"Where have you been? Tom, you worried me to death. I tried to call you but you never answered. I was just sure something really bad had happened."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. My phone is here but it's probably set on vibrate." I explained what happened and promised to never leave without the phone again. I thought later that this was the first time I could sense Pam's growing dependence on me.